micahmo77 Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 So I started dating this girl and things seemed to be going great, however we only went on two dates. After the first date there was alot of kissing and emailing, texting, cant wait to see you again type stuff etc. This lead me to believe that she was quite into me. We make plans to go on a second date, this time at a club and her two friends came along, one being with a boy friend or something. Get to the club and shes all excited to see me. Everything seemed to be awesome, kissing on the dance floor, dancing all night etc. The one thing I didnt do which for some reason slipped my mind was buy her friends drinks at the beginning of the night. Just bought them for her and I, mistake I know. Either way the night went well, after the club I dropped her and her friends off at thier car because she wanted to ride with me to hang out longer. I got home and called her, they were at Dennys and she said she had a great time and that her friends even liked me which was a positive thing. Ok! so it seemed cool...then Sunday rolls around call her since we went out Fri night. Left a message to call me at my work number and nver hear back. Then emailed her Sunday night, no response. Sent one more email last night which was Monday and no response. I dont get it...looks like the ole blow off. I prob wont call or email even though I want too just to find out what happened, I did ask in the email if its something I said or did I apologize but would love to hear from you. Never heard back!
alphamale Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 We make plans to go on a second date, this time at a club and her two friends came along, one being with a boy friend or something. if her friends came along it was not a "second date"....
D-Jam Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 I'd more wonder with the holiday coming up if she's just busy and maybe didn't have time to call or email back. Maybe she's out of town visiting family? Or wrapping up the work week? I'd worry if you didn't hear from her in a week...not 2 days. PLUS if she's going to lavish you with "more than friends" attention and then suddenly up and stop talking to you without warning, then it only shows how much of a flake she is and how better off you are without her. For now...leave things alone and wait the week. Don't call or email her again until she contacts you first. She does have a life outside of you after all and you two have only just started seeing one another, so she doesn't owe you loyalty and devotion no more than you owe her. Black Wednesday is coming up. Go out, have fun, meet other women. Keep your options open. You do not know this woman any loyalty or devotion until she says she wants to be your GF and be in a RL with you.
Yamaha Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 if her friends came along it was not a "second date".... Amen Alpha. A girl that is interested would not have brought her friends along if she was into you. She was being nice but you got the blow off.
berrieh Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 First: Have to disagree with the general rule, boys. If I put a man in any sort of situation where he can meet my friends, it means I am VERY into him. However, in this case, I can see where you'd see that (particularly because she didn't go with you or go directly home after the club, but continued to hang with her friends without inviting you...had she invited you, that'd be a different story). Second: One thing bothered me. You say, "The one thing I didnt do which for some reason slipped my mind was buy her friends drinks at the beginning of the night. Just bought them for her and I, mistake I know." A mistake? While that's a nice gesture, you are in no way obligated to buy drinks for her friends and no quality woman would consider that a "mistake" (or think of it at all). You certainly shouldn't lose any points for that. Third: You over did it with the emails. You might not have been getting the blow off. Girls do get busy, too, and she might have had things to do. (It sounds to me like she was on the fence about you, but hadn't written you off yet.) But by calling and emailing like you did, you likely turned her off. One call is great. Following up with "What did I do?" emails is kind of needy/creepy/a turn off. It sounds to me, by the way she orchestrated the club date/hangout, that she was on the fence about you: not crazy about you or sure, but not ready to write you off. This could be any number of things -- she's dating other people and likes someone else better, she's not over someone else, you're not quite her type, she's preoccupied right now, etc. It happens. In my experience, when I feel like that, sometimes those things fizzle and sometimes they wind up being worth concentrating on.
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