Jump to content

which trait is the greater turn off?


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

Hey, Ed Grimley doesn't belong on this illustrious list of alpha manhood!

 

RP, it's about the roles, forget the actors themselves.

 

berrieh, I agree that the Danny Ocean character is not husband material, but he'd be one fun short-term guy. As for the other three, honour and integrity before all, hell, I'd marry the bunch. :love:

Posted
RP, it's about the roles, forget the actors themselves.
Ooohhh, OK. Stupid me! :laugh: I missed the subject. :o
Posted
Ooohhh, OK. Stupid me! :laugh: I missed the subject. :o

Haha...BTDT, it's too easy when you scan posts quickly. Now, give me your synopsis about the roles you've seen.

 

Masculine, confident, consistent, with the right stuff to back up that edge of arrogance. Yummy. :love:

Posted
Hey, Ed Grimley doesn't belong on this illustrious list of alpha manhood!

 

RP, it's about the roles, forget the actors themselves.

 

berrieh, I agree that the Danny Ocean character is not husband material, but he'd be one fun short-term guy. As for the other three, honour and integrity before all, hell, I'd marry the bunch. :love:

 

I'd never marry Batman. Way too broody.

Posted
I'd never marry Batman. Way too broody.

I like that kind of intensity of purpose, for the right reasons. :love:

 

Okay, your turn to provide an example of the kind of guy you would use as an example of this thread v. hacking my choices down. :p:laugh:

Posted
Much of what is being discussed is a difference in definition, so here's a few examples of actors in roles that are too hot to touch but baby, I would so touch! :D

 

George Clooney - Danny Ocean in Ocean's Eleven

Russell Crowe - Maximus in Gladiator

Christian Bale - Batman in The Dark Knight

Gerard Butler - King Leonidas in 300

 

Do you see a trend? I do! I would call these guys confident with an edge of arrogance.

 

Here are more choices.

 

Christian Bale as himself, not in any particular roles. If you watch his interviews he comes off as intelligent, passionate, confident and kind(not a self absorbed an ahole). Different from most actors.

http://www.charlierose.com/view/interview/8589

I like CB in almost anything, but I felt like his Batman was a little too humorless.

 

Hugh Jackman in "Oklahoma"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyaAZKwYXxg

I love him in that role. So masculine.

 

Russell Crowe in "3:10 to Yuma" or "LA Confidential" (very different characters but both appealing)

 

George Clooney oozes charm and humor, but he also comes off as a bit sleazy. Too much of a player.

 

I like guys who are charming, confident but also loyal and monogamous (rare combination).

 

I want to hear other people's choices.

Posted
I don't see a trend. George Clooney has the ultimate nice-guy face. R. Crowe seems like the kind, artistic eternal bachelor who will treat you right, but never marry you. No arrogance there. Christian Bale is a yummy bad boy, who will break your heart. Gerard Butler is the guy that your Mama will love, but he'd be insensitive and probably cheat on you. That's what their faces tell me. :p

 

Funny, I think Bale comes off quite the opposite. He seems like the extremely loyal, moral type.

 

OK, I know he's gay, but Kevin Spacey's deadpan sense of humor is seriously hot.

Posted

shadowplay, you and I have very different tastes in men. I've never seen an interview with Christian Bale and found him unattractive during the interview. Very contrived. I also dislike his non-polished British accent.

 

You share a taste for Hugh Jackman with a close friend of mine. She's ape about Jackman where I find Jackman lacking that edge.

 

Russell Crowe in LA Confidential, once again, lacking that edge, although his character did have a kind of intensity. Can't explain what's missing.

Posted
shadowplay, you and I have very different tastes in men. I've never seen an interview with Christian Bale and found him unattractive during the interview. Very contrived. I also dislike his non-polished British accent.

 

You share a taste for Hugh Jackman with a close friend of mine. She's ape about Jackman where I find Jackman lacking that edge.

 

Russell Crowe in LA Confidential, once again, lacking that edge, although his character did have a kind of intensity. Can't explain what's missing.

 

Did you see Crowe in 3:10 to Yuma? His character definitely has an edge.

 

I'm not a fan of Jackman on film, but he impressed me in Oklahoma.

Posted
I like guys who are charming, confident but also loyal and monogamous (rare combination).

why would a man who is charming & confident want to be loyal and monogamous? especially if he's under 35.

 

these guys can write their own ticket with women because 95% of women are looking for guys like them and they are rare :laugh:

 

and the reverse is true for women.

Posted
why would a man who is charming & confident want to be loyal and monogamous? especially if he's under 35.

 

these guys can write their own ticket with women because 95% of women are looking for guys like them and they are rare :laugh:

 

and the reverse is true for women.

 

There are a few guys out there who find living the player lifestyle empty and meaningless, believe it or not.

Posted
Did you see Crowe in 3:10 to Yuma? His character definitely has an edge.

No, I haven't seen that movie but I did like him in Proof of Life as Terry Thorne. Smart, confident and edgy again.

Posted
Aidan :love::love::love::love:

 

I do think the question of arrogant/low self-esteem is skewed. Clearly most men are not either arrogant or meak.

 

But, if I look at my own past dating history, I do have a tendency to fall for arrogant guys, I guess because I easily confuse arrogance for self-confidence. In the case of my latest ex, I still have headsmacking moments of "how could I have not seen that this guy's arrogance was all a show to hide his low self-esteem?".

 

But meak men turn me off. They don't stand a chance with me. Again, there's a difference between humility and low self-confidence. I want someone who can stand their own grounds, who won't rely on me to be the source of their "self"-validation. I hate being showered with admiration. I want to feel like a real person in my relationships, not some kind of queen to be bowed to.

 

Often, with low-self-esteem guys, it ends up being all about them proving themselves to you anyways. They assume you want to be glorified -perhaps assume that you have no problems or opinions in your life since you're a goodlooking woman - and therefore take very little time to get to know you as they spend all their time trying to convince you that they're worth your time. Yawn. (Yes, I've just been courted by just the type).

 

And, like many, I love debates and conversation. I want to be equal with my partner, and that does involve not always agreeing with each other. After the ex, I also want to avoid being "diminished" in order to feed somebody else's grandiose ego.

 

"Nice" guys, pay attention ;)

Posted
No, I haven't seen that movie but I did like him in Proof of Life as Terry Thorne. Smart, confident and edgy again.

 

I liked him in POL as well. Yuma is quintessential Crowe, though his character isn't marriage material.

Posted
I liked him in POL as well. Yuma is quintessential Crowe, though his character isn't marriage material.

I've been meaning to pick that movie up as a rental. Perhaps I should. The funny thing is that physically, Crowe isn't my style. It's his portrayals that are intense and that voice of his...

Posted
There are a few guys out there who find living the player lifestyle empty and meaningless, believe it or not.

no....no, not really. not if done the right way which means having many short-term "relationships" that last 2 to 4 months each and then extricating yourself and moving on.

 

that way you get the best of both worlds. you get to sleep with a lot of women and have a semi-relationship with them.

 

the only down side from the mans pov is that he creates a lot of female enemies :lmao:

Posted
Haha...BTDT, it's too easy when you scan posts quickly.
Are you calling me sloppy or are you just trying to comfort me that I am not THAT stupid? :laugh:

Now, give me your synopsis about the roles you've seen.

With all due respect to the huge amounts of precious time that you have on your hands, I have better things to do on a Friday night. ;):cool:
Posted
no....no, not really. not if done the right way which means having many short-term "relationships" that last 2 to 4 months each and then extricating yourself and moving on.

 

that way you get the best of both worlds. you get to sleep with a lot of women and have a semi-relationship with them.

 

the only down side from the mans pov is that he creates a lot of female enemies :lmao:

 

I guess that's fine if you're not looking for deep relationships, but some guys are. It's a matter of personality type.

Posted
Are you calling me sloppy or are you just trying to comfort me that I am not THAT stupid? :laugh:
I'm trying to make you feel better but it's apparently not working!

 

With all due respect to the huge amounts of precious time that you have on your hands, I have better things to do on a Friday night. ;):cool:
Hey, it's only 2:19 p.m. here, so I'm still working, for those of us who have to work for a living! :laugh:
Posted
Hey, it's only 2:19 p.m. here, so I'm still working, for those of us who have to work for a living! :laugh:
Aren't some of us blessed? :D
Posted
no....no, not really. not if done the right way which means having many short-term "relationships" that last 2 to 4 months each and then extricating yourself and moving on.

 

that way you get the best of both worlds. you get to sleep with a lot of women and have a semi-relationship with them.

 

the only down side from the mans pov is that he creates a lot of female enemies :lmao:

 

Not every woman wants to be in a committed relationship. They date, just like we guys do with the same intentions, whether the above you've described or FWB or long-term.

 

We get type casted as playas when hanging out with women whom don't want anything serious to begin with lol

Posted
I like that kind of intensity of purpose, for the right reasons. :love:

 

Okay, your turn to provide an example of the kind of guy you would use as an example of this thread v. hacking my choices down. :p:laugh:

 

I said I liked Aidan. ;)

 

But... also... (I suck at movies, so it's gonna be TV):

Ted from How I Met Your Mother, Jim from The Office... those are my type of guys... kind of funny, sarcastic, nerdy, still cute, no real arrogance there. I like self-deprecating guys. ;)

Posted
no....no, not really. not if done the right way which means having many short-term "relationships" that last 2 to 4 months each and then extricating yourself and moving on.

 

that way you get the best of both worlds. you get to sleep with a lot of women and have a semi-relationship with them.

 

the only down side from the mans pov is that he creates a lot of female enemies :lmao:

 

Some guys like to have an actual partner to share their daily lives with. I know many guys under 35 who do, who could get girls easily but are really looking for a girl they can be in a LTR with. Plenty of guys don't like to be bachelors (even the revolving door STR you spoke of, which would be exhausting to some men).

 

I know lots of men who don't see "sleeping with many women" as a priority. Different people want different things.

Posted

Unless I find a man funny and/or smart, then I often find arrogance quite repulsive and annoying. I associate it with pretentiousness and people trying to pass themselves off as being something more than they are.

 

If he seems to have good cause to be arrogant, and the arrogance is tongue in cheek (and done in moderation), then it can be amusing and even sexy - but if it's just a humourless "I'm better than anyone else in this room" then it's unpleasant to be around.

 

I generally prefer a bit of modesty and reserve underpinned by quiet, genuine confidence that doesn't feel the need to present itself to the world at a blaring volume.

Posted
I said I liked Aidan. ;)

 

But... also... (I suck at movies, so it's gonna be TV):

Ted from How I Met Your Mother, Jim from The Office... those are my type of guys... kind of funny, sarcastic, nerdy, still cute, no real arrogance there. I like self-deprecating guys. ;)

I don't watch much TV so I don't know these guys, including Aidan but I will say that I'm not much into self-deprecating guys unless it's in the interests of humour. False modesty is very unattractive.

×
×
  • Create New...