chris250 Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 Which trait will turn a woman off faster? Arrogance or low self esteem? Feeling superior to her? Feeling inferior to her? Will self righteousness turn her off faster than low self esteem? My opinion is that self righteousness is worse than low self esteem. I think it's better to error on the side of thinking that a woman is above me. I prefer equality in a relationship but if I'm going to error on one side I'd want to error on the side of treating her as if she is better than me.
amaysngrace Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 Strive for a healthy balance between the two.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 I have been with both types of guys, and I strongly prefer the guy who is slightly less sure of himself to the guy who is too sure of himself, as the former kind of guy almost always treats you better. The guy who was full of himself was pretty much a jerk, and that's why I left him. Also, I'm loyal and loving, and that seems to have made the men I've been with feel more secure and self-confident. I think I'm good at making my guy feel like "da man".
kashmir Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 I think it's better to be overly-arrogant than overly-self-conscious. Regardless of women here say, they'll always go for the jerk who's full of himself over the shy guy who feels even slightly inferior.
Yamaha Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 Being a wuss is the fastest way to being dateless!!!!!!
movingonandon Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 Which trait will turn a woman off faster? Arrogance or low self esteem? Feeling superior to her? Feeling inferior to her? Will self righteousness turn her off faster than low self esteem? My opinion is that self righteousness is worse than low self esteem. I think it's better to error on the side of thinking that a woman is above me. I prefer equality in a relationship but if I'm going to error on one side I'd want to error on the side of treating her as if she is better than me. Eh, that's really wrong way to phrase it... why do you have to choose the lesser of the two evils? Being too sure of yourself does not signify high self esteem. Plenty of cocky jerks are actually very insecure. Related, treating a woman well does not signify low self-esteem. Sure, you should challenge her and make her do some of the work too is fine, but that's not achieved by doing the frat boy thing. Better way to put it is that you should not ignore your needs to satisfy hers, and you should ignore her needs to satisfy yours. Conflict is inevitable, but that's where confidence shows up. Being cocky or shy has nothing to do with these things... Well, ok, ignoring your needs is shy - in a bad way.
fral945 Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 Which trait will turn a woman off faster? Arrogance or low self esteem? Feeling superior to her? Feeling inferior to her? Low self esteem and inferiority. Had both for many years. Much more successful erring on the arrogant, superior side of things. Will self righteousness turn her off faster than low self esteem? My opinion is that self righteousness is worse than low self esteem. No, they might complain about it, but look around you. Self-righteous guys are getting laid, wusses aren't. I think it's better to error on the side of thinking that a woman is above me. I prefer equality in a relationship but if I'm going to error on one side I'd want to error on the side of treating her as if she is better than me. I disagree. IME that method has not worked. You'll just attract overbearing, pushover types that way.
grogster Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 Arrogance is confidence with edge. If you want to increase your likelihood of getting laid, err on the side of too much, as opposed to too little, confidence. They don't call it "cockiness" for nothing.
marlena Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 They don't call it "cockiness" for nothing. Ok!!! Nothing like a "cocky" man!!! Just can't compare. I guess that's why I love Englishmen!!
berrieh Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 A mix is better. Personally I'm a sucker for boys with a sense of self-loathing (and the humor to go with it), so I guess arrogance. I once broke up with a guy because he really did find himself fascinating and impressive, and it bored me to tears. But a complete lack of self esteem is tiring, too.
Trialbyfire Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 Arrogance is confidence with edge. If you want to increase your likelihood of getting laid, err on the side of too much, as opposed to too little, confidence. They don't call it "cockiness" for nothing. So how does brash come into play? Cockiness/brashness, no thanks. Confidence with an edge of arrogance, I like it! Wimp, no thanks.
kashmir Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 A mix is better. Personally I'm a sucker for boys with a sense of self-loathing (and the humor to go with it), so I guess arrogance. I once broke up with a guy because he really did find himself fascinating and impressive, and it bored me to tears. But a complete lack of self esteem is tiring, too. You bring up a good point. From my experiences, arrogant guys are not able to make fun of themselves. What fun is someone who can't recognize his flaws and use them as fuel for humor? What fun is someone who can degrade everyone around him but not point his arrogant attitude towards himself? I can be very sarcastic and have no problem poking fun at people, but I make fun of myself just as much. I have a friend who's an absolutely hilarious guy but with a lot of insecurities. He constantly makes jokes about himself as well as everything else. For every one of him there's 10 narcissistic jerks who think they're absolutely perfect. Now you tell me who is more enjoyable to be around.
Trialbyfire Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 You bring up a good point. From my experiences, arrogant guys are not able to make fun of themselves. What fun is someone who can't recognize his flaws and use them as fuel for humor? What fun is someone who can degrade everyone around him but not point his arrogant attitude towards himself? I can be very sarcastic and have no problem poking fun at people, but I make fun of myself just as much. I have a friend who's an absolutely hilarious guy but with a lot of insecurities. He constantly makes jokes about himself as well as everything else. For every one of him there's 10 narcissistic jerks who think they're absolutely perfect. Now you tell me who is more enjoyable to be around. That's a generalization that all men who are arrogant or have an edge of arrogance have no sense of humour about self. If a guy has real confidence, with an edge of arrogance, many can and do laugh at themselves more than others.
kashmir Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 That's a generalization that all men who are arrogant or have an edge of arrogance have no sense of humour about self. If a guy has real confidence, with an edge of arrogance, many can and do laugh at themselves more than others. But a guy with REAL confidence isn't outright arrogant. The whole idea of arrogance is believing yourself to be special and important. If a guy made fun of himself often, I wouldn't consider him arrogant.
Trialbyfire Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 But a guy with REAL confidence isn't outright arrogant. The whole idea of arrogance is believing yourself to be special and important. If a guy made fun of himself often, I wouldn't consider him arrogant. It takes all kinds kashmir. Whether they laugh at themselves in public or private, they still laugh at themselves and not just at other people. Also, there are different kinds of humour. Subtle and overt. Many times, people miss the subtle poking fun at self. You don't have to make yourself look foolish, goofy or ridiculous, to laugh at self.
johan Posted November 26, 2008 Posted November 26, 2008 I get most turned off by people who don't return PMs or emails.
tinogrrl Posted November 26, 2008 Posted November 26, 2008 Which trait will turn a woman off faster? Arrogance or low self esteem? Both. Both require work, either in the form of knocking them off their pedestal or building one up for them!
Star Gazer Posted November 26, 2008 Posted November 26, 2008 I have been with both types of guys, and I strongly prefer the guy who is slightly less sure of himself to the guy who is too sure of himself, as the former kind of guy almost always treats you better. The guy who was full of himself was pretty much a jerk, and that's why I left him. Also, I'm loyal and loving, and that seems to have made the men I've been with feel more secure and self-confident. I think I'm good at making my guy feel like "da man". I gotta agree with this. That's what it comes down to. However, if I had my pick, I'd pick a balance between the two.
monkey00 Posted November 26, 2008 Posted November 26, 2008 I have been with both types of guys, and I strongly prefer the guy who is slightly less sure of himself to the guy who is too sure of himself, as the former kind of guy almost always treats you better. The guy who was full of himself was pretty much a jerk, and that's why I left him. Also, I'm loyal and loving, and that seems to have made the men I've been with feel more secure and self-confident. I think I'm good at making my guy feel like "da man". As a guy I might probably agree with you. I have guy friends who are somewhat unsure of themselves, they have nice caring gfs and all..but at times I find them to be a tad bit over-controlling especially in the relationship. Which I'm not keen on at all. I think where it lies is balancing is the best. Anyway even if someone is very sure of himself or what he wants out of life, it doesn't necessarily equate to a full blow jerk. Someone can be confident and humble also.
DunnoWhat Posted November 26, 2008 Posted November 26, 2008 Arrogance is what women prefer clearly BUT real confident people don't act arrogant.
Author chris250 Posted November 27, 2008 Author Posted November 27, 2008 When getting into discussions about world events whether religion or politics or anything else is it better to just agree with a woman's point of view to keep peace or is it better to be pushy about your view and opinion? For me personally I think it's better to agree with her just to keep peace and for the sake of getting along. I don't like to argue or debate issues. I'm certainly not going to share my opinion about anything until she asks for my honest opinion first. It's better to error on the side of compromising too much than too little. I think it's not a good idea for a man to express disagreement with a woman about anything more than once a year. You can question the government. You can question the church. You can question anything anybody tells you but it's to a man's advantage that he does not question anything a woman says. Do not challenge her.
Trialbyfire Posted November 27, 2008 Posted November 27, 2008 chris, you've got to be kidding me! It's okay to have an opinion and if someone can't accept that you have a mind of your own, you're better off without them. This doesn't mean she/you have to accept each other's opinions. You can easily agree to disagree, particularly when both of you feel strongly about the subject. As long as it's not relationship related issues, it's all good.
psiloveyou Posted November 27, 2008 Posted November 27, 2008 I agree that both are a turn off. However, arrogance and people who love the sound of their own voice annoys me alot quicker than someone with low self esteem.
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 28, 2008 Posted November 28, 2008 That's a tough one. I just got out of a marriage with a man that felt inferior much of the time. As I tend to be kind of a bull without realizing it, I wish he would have stood up for himself more often. I think of a low self-esteem guy and I think of a wuss. I'd rather have somebody strong. But really, I'd prefer neither - would rather have an equal with healthy self-esteem.
alphamale Posted November 28, 2008 Posted November 28, 2008 Which trait will turn a woman off faster? Arrogance or low self esteem? i see a lot more beautiful women with arrogant men than with low self esteem men... basically the men who get a lot of women know how to make them feel good and also how to piss them off at the same time
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