4by4 Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 Guys, I just told my ex never to contact me again a week ago. I made it clear we were no longer friends and I wanted to move on without her in my life. She was the one that originally proposed a "break" and told me she doesn't feel for me anymore. However she still wanted to hang out and have me as a "good" friend. Anyway, I canceled a trip overseas I had booked earlier in the year with her. We were suppose to go with friends, but I decided it was too wierd so I pulled out. She was crying and really upset when she found out. She even tried to convince me it would be fine to go with her as "friends". I have since then booked a separate trip to Europe with mates. She somehow found out and just emailed me with this line today - glad you sorted out the flights! the travel agent is useless Anyway, I've decided to just not reply to her. It's needless writing something back. What's the point? What can I possibly gain from having email contact or keeping my ex as a friend? I've made the decision to move on instead of waiting for her to be ready for another chance at love. Whatever made her go on this break can't be good, and I don't have time to waste on people who do not love me 100% the way I do for them. I still believe in finding the right girl and giving her the world but my ex just isn't the one. I still love this girl don't get me wrong, we dated for 4 happy years. But I know I am strong enough to forget her and start a new chapter, I don't want people like her hanging around in my life. It can only prolong my recovery and hinder my chances at finding true love. Stay strong!
Sysyphus28 Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 Lets be friends. Thumbs down. Read the joy of friendship with your ex, you'll get my perspective on how assinine it is to be "friends" with your ex............. Ignorant X's think that this will be a great idea. Guess what girl, you don't get my good qualities anymore. EVER
BCCA Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 I think the one thing women want more than anything when they dump a guy is to know that they guy doesn't hate them, so they dont feel like a bad person. You really dont see guys throwing out the friends bit as often, although I know it happens. Youre absolutely right, being friends and keeping in contact with her is completely pointless. I'm sure its great for her to have you in her life the way that she wants, but I guess she conveniently forgot that youre not getting her in your life the way you wanted. Once one person decides to end things, you really just cant be friends. You'll never both get what you want from the friendship, and its usually going to be what she wants when she wants it. I applaud your strength. Its not easy, but you did the right thing.
BCCA Posted November 27, 2008 Posted November 27, 2008 so you think its a gender thing BCCA? Yes and no. I think that whenver people are over a relationship but maybe still have feelings, they'll want to keep the person they just dumped around for a while (as 'freinds') until they find someone new, becuase they probably spent a fair amount of time with this person, and now need to fill that free time. I think men are less likely to expect a friendship, though. I know some do, and Im sure a lot of this is based on my own experience, but I would never expect someone I just dumped to want to be my friend. I also think men are generally the ones getting dumped more often than not, and a lot of us are guilty of trying to hang around and see if their ex changes their mind. Either way, I think once anyone really realizes that their ex isnt going to get back together with them or has dated/is dating someone else, the gig is up. Friends is NEVER going to satisfy both people after a break up.
0hpenelope Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 ...but I would never expect someone I just dumped to want to be my friend. Boy, I sure wish Lawrence thought the way you did. Would've saved me a whole lot of grief. Either way, I think once anyone really realizes that their ex isnt going to get back together with them or has dated/is dating someone else, the gig is up. Friends is NEVER going to satisfy both people after a break up. This is the clincher ain't it? OP, good for you. I don't know what kind of game that girl is playing, but I can't not believe that she doesn't have empathy about this. For people to want to jump into a friendship straight out of their break-up is just crazy to me. People who have made this possible for themselves are either pretty amazing or have checked out of the relationship a long time ago, but stayed with each other because neither wanted to be the bad guy.
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