The Apology

[hightide]

Dear _______,

This may be falling on deaf ears, but it is important to me that I apologize for all that has happened during our relationship and after. Ive done much soul searching and have been able to see what I was. I have recognized my faults and work every day to change them. I apologize for being so hurtful, manipulative, judgemental, and unhealthy. I was not aware of the pain and damage that I caused until the one I loved and bonded with the most was gone from my life forever. I apologize for being pushy and not giving you your space to heal. I apologize for my issues with alcohol, and the effects that it caused in my moods. I’m sorry I always pointing the finger at you when I should have been pointing it at myself. I am truly sorry for my desperate obsessive behavior. I broke down and did not know how to process my emotions. I am embarrassed and ashamed for my behavior. I opened up and told you that I loved you more than anything and wanted to work on things. To salvage something that I felt was worth saving. Your rejection frustrated me and put me through a ball of emotion that resulted in anger, pain, and the examining of my self worth. I fueled those emotions with alcohol which made things worse. I accept and respect that we need to go our separate ways. I wish I could have handled things differently. You were a big part of my life for so long. I’m still reminded of you, but have moved on with my life. I’ve never known someone like you, and am grateful for what we did experience together.

[Tony]

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