Asks me to call him - then never returns my call????

[kiki30]

So I met this dude, totally random I remembered him from 10 years ago in one of my classes. I never intended to pick him up, we talked for a bit he suggests we exchange info. Two weeks later run into each other again and he brings up in the conversation twice that he would call me or i should call him - to the point it was obvious. So I wait - okay five days I wasn't sure about him - call and leave him a message this is wednesday.

No call - but I see him on friday at a conference he immediately approaches me and apologizes and we engage in small talk. The conference is three days and he makes every attempt to engage me, talk to me etc. etc... on the saturday i make an attempt to talk to him to so - he knows there are no hard feelings - he responds smiling and what not.

Sunday comes around (by this time - i am like okay what are we in highschool) anyway i make no attempt to engage him he was busy talking to people anyway... he ends up going back to do something after i go to the bathroom. Never heard from him since - did I miss something!!! What sucks is that we know a few of the same people - and i know i am gonna run into him. I guess he is shady or just a flirt. Is this just the norm - i am a nubie to the hole dating scene.

[amaysngrace]

I guess he is shady or just a flirt.

 

I guess you're right.

[Angel1111]

Who knows? Don't waste your time worrying about people like this. There could be a number of reasons and I'm sure that none of them are very interesting. And don't ever call a guy - let him call you. No matter what he says.

[prettybaby]

^^ that's BS. I got some really nice dates in the past, and I was the one calling first. My first bf (who was totally darling) went on our first movie date together after I called him. I do think there are certain rules that can be good to follow when it comes to dating, but this isn't the 1950's, it's okay for a girl to call.

[prettybaby]

PS to Kiki: here is a rule about phone calls that should be followed: 2 calls max.

 

If he doesn't respond after the first voicemail: who knows his reasons, give him the benefit of the doubt. If he doesn't respond after your second voice mail: move on.

 

Any more contact past that second voice mail will be considered clingy/pathetic.

[kiki30]

Thanks guys, I was not considering calling this dude back - that would be crazy. We didn't even get to step 2 before he began revealing that he his not the right kinda dude for me. In fact, I tore up his number so that there would be noooooooooo way that I could call him back again. I guess I was just trying to figure out why guys do this kind of thing - i hate awkwardness and like i said seeing him with will be kind of weird.

 

I had some friends indicating that i should give him a second chance, but i believe i already did that by giving him the time of day at the conference - moving on thanks....

 

learning the rope of dating after a long relationship is tricky

[sscutie]

I dont think that this should bother you at all... it seems to me that he is not worth the trouble

[kiki30]

Thanks SScutie,

 

I have a tendency to overanalyze until i get things out of my system.

[kiki30]

Okay, one more thing - could it be that i sent this guy the wrong message or mixed signals without realizing it. The last day of the conference I saw him in the distance talking to a few people, i didn't make eye contact - i was nervous and a little unsure about him ... then i went to the washroom and i had my coat and bag with me. When i came back he was gone - maybe he thought i snubbed him and that's why he didn't call.

 

Or am i now just making excuses for him? because part of me wants to attempt to contact him to know for sure - like via email. help

 

aaaaaaaaaaaargh

[Gremio]

He has your number. If he was interested, he would have called. You don't have any investment in him so you really haven't lost anything.

[kiki30]

thanks gremio,

 

so true, gotta learn to take my lumps and move on -