celebray69 Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 Hi all! Well here I am posting again!! I just find all your advice very helpful when I'm going through rough patches in my ldr. So everything has been going smoothly in my relationship for quite some time. Until recently, my bfriend has decided to do an audition and has been staying in a nearby city with friends. He had promised to call everyday but didn't a couple nights ago. He called the following day and apologized for not doing so. I was fine about it and told him not to worry even though I was a bit upset. I didn't want to start a fight just before his audition so I figured I would talk to him about it afterwards. I had told him it was really important to me if he could call me after he was done playing and he said he would. But yet again nothing. I am starting to feel angry about this. I still haven't heard anything from him and I feel it is really unfair. The reason I am feeling this way is that I am trying to be really supportive of what he is doing even though this audition has temporarily put off our plans for the future. Now I feel he has been completly unappreciative of me and maybe I am not as important to him as he claims I am. So I am still expecting him to call today but I'm not sure what to say as I feel I may be overreacting. What do you guys think?
The LDR-er Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 Hi all! Well here I am posting again!! I just find all your advice very helpful when I'm going through rough patches in my ldr. So everything has been going smoothly in my relationship for quite some time. Until recently, my bfriend has decided to do an audition and has been staying in a nearby city with friends. He had promised to call everyday but didn't a couple nights ago. He called the following day and apologized for not doing so. I was fine about it and told him not to worry even though I was a bit upset. I didn't want to start a fight just before his audition so I figured I would talk to him about it afterwards. I had told him it was really important to me if he could call me after he was done playing and he said he would. But yet again nothing. I am starting to feel angry about this. I still haven't heard anything from him and I feel it is really unfair. The reason I am feeling this way is that I am trying to be really supportive of what he is doing even though this audition has temporarily put off our plans for the future. Now I feel he has been completly unappreciative of me and maybe I am not as important to him as he claims I am. So I am still expecting him to call today but I'm not sure what to say as I feel I may be overreacting. What do you guys think? hmm.. i think u r kind of the same with me in a way, although i am a male, but i still want to hear my girls voice everyday, but sometime, your partner will have different feeling to you, for them maybe they don't see a big deal in not talking for a day or so, for some of us is like getting the news that we hav cancer LOL, as for me if u see my other post even if i speak less than a hour with my gf i get well upset. however i do feel like you need to tell him how u feel about this situation, and let him know that by him calling even for 15 mins will mean a lot to you, is not like you are setting a time when he has to call u, all u are asking is calling u after he has finished with everything eles i think that is fair enough, the fact you are being supportive cos he has auditions, which i think you should tell him so is well, but you need to tell him that the phone calls are important to you, as the audition is important to him, the only way it would work is if u both stick to the rules, obviously you will keep being supportive as long as he make those short phone calls, i think the fact he will call back in the morning is a gd thing, but if it happens too often, i think u will have to check it out, as it does sound a bit doggy ( not trying to scare ya LOL~) but i guess over all be possitive, as in a LDR the couple really need to be open and talk to each other, if u hold something in time it will only make the realtionship worse.
Island Girl Posted November 26, 2008 Posted November 26, 2008 Hi all! Well here I am posting again!! I just find all your advice very helpful when I'm going through rough patches in my ldr. So everything has been going smoothly in my relationship for quite some time. Until recently, my bfriend has decided to do an audition and has been staying in a nearby city with friends. So you weren't LD until these auditions? He had promised to call everyday but didn't a couple nights ago. He called the following day and apologized for not doing so. I was fine about it and told him not to worry even though I was a bit upset. I didn't want to start a fight just before his audition so I figured I would talk to him about it afterwards. I had told him it was really important to me if he could call me after he was done playing and he said he would. So you had some relationship ground rules before he went. And he has broken those rules. That IS something that needs to be discussed. I am just wondering why you would assume it would turn into a "fight". True it could be put off until after his audition. But it has "snow balled" because it happened again without your boyfriend knowing what you were really feeling. In the bolded statement above, you lied about your feelings. That isn't fair to him OR you. This is especially important in an LDR. But yet again nothing. I am starting to feel angry about this. You have every right to be. The two of you had an agreement and he isn't abiding by the agreement. But in any relationship communication is VERY important and you haven't been communicating either. He can't fix it if he doesn't know there is a problem or how you really feel about the problem. If you tell him how you are feeling and he understands and agrees to solve the problem, and then doesn't, then you'll have more of the information you need about this relationship. I still haven't heard anything from him and I feel it is really unfair. The reason I am feeling this way is that I am trying to be really supportive of what he is doing even though this audition has temporarily put off our plans for the future. Now I feel he has been completly unappreciative of me and maybe I am not as important to him as he claims I am. So I am still expecting him to call today but I'm not sure what to say as I feel I may be overreacting. What do you guys think? Exactly. And exactly why you need to know where you rank in his plans, etc. Or how important you are in his life. Sorry you are going through this.
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