Jamez123 Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 how many people say 'we're never gonna get back together' a few weeks after a break up and really mean it? How many people say that and change their minds over time?
alphamale Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 how many people say 'we're never gonna get back together' a few weeks after a break up and really mean it? How many people say that and change their minds over time? if its the dumper saying it? probably 2%
Author Jamez123 Posted November 25, 2008 Author Posted November 25, 2008 what, 2% really mean it? or 2% change their minds over time?
foxh1234 Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 Hey Jamez, you are grasping man. I have read post after post of yours asking the same thing. How can I get her back or will she change her mind. Let me tell you one thing I know for sure. You cannot make anyone else do anything. You cannot make them think anything and you cannot change the way they feel. The only thing you can control is you and the sooner you realize that the better. I'm not trying to be mean or hard on you but you have to accept things the way they are now. She doesn't want you back, you have to close that door and move on. There is nothing you can do or say that will change her mind. If she ever changes her mind, she will let you know but in the mean time you have to start to get yourself together and start moving forward. I did exactly what you are doing for months and it only prolonged my pain and suffering. Once I realized that the only person that could get me out of the funk was me, I started to heal and feel better. Living is the past is a hard habit to break but it must be broken. The past is long gone and all weareleft with is the here and now. Go NC, get busy living and stay busy until you start to feel better. As hard as it is, you must do it. You will not heal until you give up the hope. Believe me, if she needs to reach you, she will. It is hard for sure, but you can do it and we are all here to help.
BCCA Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 I agree with Fox, youre grasping man. Dont do this to yourself, youre only asking for more pain and suffering. The chances that shes going to change her mind about you arent very good, I think 2% chance she changes her mind after telling you that is probably about right. So, there is a 98% chance that she means what she says. Honestly, women very rarely go back to ex's, and if they do, its not usually for the right reasons and youll find yourself dumped again. She probably decided months ago that this wasnt going to work out, and slowly removed herself from it emotionally. As it stands today, shes probably been over it entirely for at least a month. Waiting to hear from her is pointless, even if you do, its never what you want to hear. Sorry man, I know how badly youre hurting right now. We all do. But the last thing you want to do is keep putting your neck out there for more suffering. Nip it in the bud now. Let it hurt, let life suck, heal, and get on with it.
Author Jamez123 Posted November 25, 2008 Author Posted November 25, 2008 cheers, she said it was because she couldn't put up with me in the last two months and it went downhill. I upset her a lot because i wasn't myself, and i had serious depression which she doesn't actually believe, even though the doctor even said i had. I think that really affected stuff with us, because exactly 1 and a half months before she dumped me, she was really in love with me, she phoned me saying she missed me a lot, etc and stuff. It's why i think there's a possibility she may change her mind and she also siad when we were on holiday together in Austria like two months before the split that she loved me so much and it was evident she really really wanted to stay with me. the relationship was fantastic by the way, save for the last couple of months out of the whole year. i think she's saying 'never' because i've begged and begged her for weeks and weeks and not let things chill out. She even said 'you've changed it now' presumably meaning her mind about givin me another chance. I'm thinking of inviting her over when me mum and dad go away next weekend for a night as a purely social thing, and cooking her a meal, etc and just really talking about ****, without asking her back.
BCCA Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 My ex said I was the most amazing man she ever met and she wanted to spend her life with me a couple weeks before she dumped me. Do you see what we're all getting at? Feelings change, maybe not entirely in the course of a month, but I would bet everything I own she was on the fence about you for a long while. Sometimes, you were probably great, other times, she probably couldnt get away fast enough. She doesnt believe you about the depression because she doesnt want to discuss what happened anymore. Again, she wanted out, she got out, she isn't interested in touching the subject again. Thats also why she was so direct about never getting back together, she wants you to understand that its a done deal. If you ask her to go out, one of two things will almost certainly happen. She wont respond or she'll say no/give an excuse. Its going to be awkward for her, she doesnt want to be around you for a while because she knows youre going to be touchy/lovey-dovey, and shes not into it. She probably doesnt want to talk about much of anything with you, truth be told. Youre making yourself crazy hanging onto every word she says and analyzing things in your head to mean what you want them to. Stop it bro, this girl isnt the one for you or she wouldnt have dumped you.
frd150 Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 James, do not ask her to dinner or to make her dinner. Even the invitation will push her away further than she already is.It cant be just "social" there are too may feelings there. You do not want her going because she feels bad. annnd if she sayws no then what will that do to you? Ask yourself that. The more time you spend focusing on her and what she says or does is time taken away from you and your healing. Why not do for you,better yourself. You see what happens when you do that is you start to think things like "her loss" or "Wow im better off". What is this doing for your depression? Or maybe I shoud ask where your at with it now? are you truly ready "IF" she came back for things to be different? Bud, let me tell you that Ive been there. A month before she left she begged me crying to never leave her and I swore I never would. I meant it. She was my one but what Ive learned is that there will be another "one" for me. Maybe not today or next week but noneteless it will happen.
4by4 Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 I log onto LS for 1 good reason. People here are realistic, provide real hard facts for me to stay strong and move on. We are all in this together, I WILL get what I deserve. Keep telling yourself this - if she wants anything to do with you, she knows how to find you.
Dmoney28 Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 I agree with everyone else. I know it hurts, trust me i know. I have LC and thats worse than NC in the long run. If she wants to contact you, she will. You have absoultly no control over this situation at all. Its like a man who is swimming up river avoiding a water fall below. He can do two things....swim, stuggle, wear himself out holding on to false of reaching the shore...or he can simply accept his fate and give in. Either way he's going to meet the same fate....the waterfall and death. Its best you just do NC and accept the fact she isnt interested. It will do no good killing yourself with "what ifs" for months. If you keep bugging her and contacting her, that's making your chance of getting back worse. Try to leave on a positive note, and Back out and take care your healing. Maybe she will later down the road, who knows. But how could she want you BACK , when you never went away. You have to just grieve and work through the pain everyday. It sucks...we all been there. Each day will be better.
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