vince1128 Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 To keep this semi-concise, We've been into each other for about 3 months, and in between that time there were some things that got in the way so i didnt talk to her for a while. At the beginning she didnt want a relationship because they change things. About 3 weeks ago, we had a great talk and I asked her if she liked me she said isnt it more fun not to know?well I let her play her little game and took the hint and that was the first night we kissed. she also said that relationships change things again. We've kissed a bunch more now, everyday that i see her (about 5 days a week). Obviously she wouldnt do this if she didnt like me..right? (shes not a player type at all) So, we have a good (i wanna call it relationship but wont) "connection" and i'd like to continue things but im not sure where to go. We act like were in a relationship, to the point where it doesnt seem like ANYTHING would change if we put the title on it. I feel like I should just tell her that im me, not "other relationships". It also seems like she needs assurance, so ill let her know whats lined up for her. Im gonna have to take the leading role in this one i think otherwise well stay in this little pattern for a while which cant be healthy because it will keep her in "fear" so to speak. Should i ask her what her ideal relationship should be? should i say something about relationships are about taking a risk, and if we dont take a chance to take that risk how will we know where we stand? We have a strong enough relationship where i dont think putting the title on it would change anything. I just need to ask her what she wants and expects bc i dont want to get hurt if her intentions are different then mine and im investing all this time and getting attached to her. THIS GIRL IS SO CONFUSING! She is the first girl ive ever consolted the internet about lol Im 18 so i dont know everything but this girl has deff taught me a lot. Another though i have is the social status of it. Not that im not cool enough or anything like that, but her ex bf (ended for good a yr and 3 months ago but hes still obsessed) would find out or idk i could be crazy I just cant figure this girl out. She calls me hard to figure out which i think is totally ironic but anyways, is it too early or is it time to talk? GIVE ME SOME ADVICE PEOPLE!!! CLIFFNOTES for the lazy: I like girl, girl likes me. says she doesnt want relationship bc it changes things. since then, weve been acting like were in relationship for about 3 weeks (kissing, etc..) How can i advance from here?
Author vince1128 Posted November 25, 2008 Author Posted November 25, 2008 or could a reason she didnt want to date right away was to make sure i wasnt going to be a mistake?
Meet 4 Coffee Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 Have you actually asked her out and taken her on a proper date? Sorry but in order to take you seriously as a boyfriend prospect, you're going to have to shovel out at least some dough for a dinner and take her on a proper date. Oh and don't forget to open her doors..
Author vince1128 Posted November 25, 2008 Author Posted November 25, 2008 ^ yes, i've taken her to some very nice classy restraunts and also movies, etc.
PrincessPeach Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 She wants to make sure you a guy she'd be interested in and needs a little more time than you do to decide this and build some comfort for you. You being able to move forward with her will help her decide that you are the right guy for her. We are all afraid of being hurt, and getting into an official relationship too soon increases the chances of getting hurt. She wants a better idea that a relationship is going to work out before she commits herself to one. Just pretend that you are in a relationship, just don't ever use that word with her or anyone else. If you keep thinking it and things go well, it will eventually become true. For the love of all that is sane do NOT try to talk to her about it. It should be a clue to you how she asks if it's more fun as sort of a mystery that she likes it being a little bit of a mystery still. She likes you... just keep doing what you've been doing. You don't need to label it to enjoy yourselves. I've been seeing the same guy for nearly six months now. It basically a relationship, but we never talked about, it just happened that way. if you think putting a title on it won't change anything, then you should be fine not needing to put a title on it. Accept it for what it and what it grows into on its own.
PrincessPeach Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 It just occurred to me that I posted almost the exact same thing in another of your threads a few weeks ago. Don't worry about it. You guys sound fine.
Author vince1128 Posted November 25, 2008 Author Posted November 25, 2008 So I can't even talk about what her intentions are so I don't get hurt?
PrincessPeach Posted November 26, 2008 Posted November 26, 2008 Her intentions very much seem they are what you would like them to be. Just go with the flow. After a while if she still doesn't mention anything (and you haven't been bugging her about it) just introduce her to someone as your girlfriend, or before she is about to meet someone you know, tell her beforehand that you'll be introducing her as your girlfriend. Don't ask (I know it sounds bad to just assume something like this) but if you just do it and she is into you and has been with you a while, more than three weeks, she'll go with it.
Recommended Posts