Jamez123 Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 seriously what do you do if you think you've pushed your ex to the maximum with all your begging and pleading and silly little texts and e-mails saying you miss her, etc, etc? I think i've messed things up now and destroyed hopes of getting back with my ex who i was with for a year, and who i adored. She says to me now 'i've changed it' and that 'she DOESN'T want me, and she never will' and she finds me annoying and doesn't even wanna be my mate. i honestly thought i had another chance when she tells me i've changed it, presumably meaning how she felt about me, i'm gonna go NC but what can i do in order to stand another chance ever? It was a beautiful relationship we had and we only broke up coz the last two months were ****, due to me being depressed.
BCCA Posted November 26, 2008 Posted November 26, 2008 Dude, dont lie to yourself. Things ended because she fell out of love and lost interest in being in a relationship with you. If she was still into you, she would have done what she could to be supportive and understanding of your depression. Chances are, she has a plethora of reasons for leaving you, and you'll probably never get them out of her. Not because she likes to hold things back, but because to her, this is over and not worth talking about anymore. Think about it this way. Youre journey travels the same path, regardless of whether youre getting back with her or just getting over her. You still have to do the same things, which start with going NC and accepting that you may never be with this girl again. My relationship was 5 years, I've seen others that were 9-12 here before...they all suck, no matter what. We all feel like we lost someone that we'll never be able to replace, and that life will never be the same without them. What you need to do is get back to where you were before you met this girl. Remember all the fun you used to have and people you met before her? You can be perfectly happy without her, trust me. You may not want to right now, but if you keep NC and focus on what you can do for yourself, you will be one day. If youre counting on someone else to make your life happy, you'll always be dissapointed. Sorry man, I've been where you are, not even that long ago actually. There are times when I can hardly stand to get out of bed in the morning, and there are times when I feel a horrible void in my life. I look in the mirror and say two words to myself - "man up!" You have to get past this, and you will. Dont hold yourself back with hopes and dreams though, its pointless. Man up, get yourself together, and keep putting one foot in front of the other. Fake it 'till you make it if you have to.
Dmoney28 Posted November 26, 2008 Posted November 26, 2008 Honestly i know where you are comming from...we all know where you are comming from. 3 1/2 year relationship for me....3 months and i am better now than i was at month one....and thats with LC (all intiated by her) the whole time. If i can be "ok" at month 3 with LC....you should be stellar at month 3 with NC. No1. calm down and relax. If you need to cy..dammit cry. no shame in it. 5 stages of grieving.....denial, anger, deppreion, bargaining and acceptance. YOU have to get through these stages before you can be ok with yourself. You will go back and forth...but you have to give yourself TIME.....TIME. Right now it seems like your at denial and bargaining. Just let go....please for your own well being just let go and relax. At some point a almost peacful calm will overcome you when you accept reality. Trust me after the boke up is out of your system, you will see how the situation wasnt as bad as we thought. read this, its pretty much saying everything all the other posters have said......if you feel the need to hold on to false hope read this....but if someone dosent love you anymore....nothing you can do to MAKE them. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t96092/
BackonTrack2 Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 sorry mate, i agree with the guys here, stop texting, contacting your ex. she's your ex, the past, drill that message in your brain. the best thing you can is NOTHING, act as if she's invisible like it was a dream or you never met her. over time (few months) youwill get better and your feelings will disappear and you'll start to wonder "what the hell you was thinking" good luck
Sysyphus28 Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 It takes some time, but it clicks. I am on LC with the ex, we have hung out and been real casual. I was a F-ing mess in August. It was awful!!! I can tell you this gets better. It is the truth. I am living proof. 2-3 years together.......she realizes she doesn't love me anymore. I realized she is her own person not someone I can control and make be with me. It takes two people to want eachother. Begging and pleading has deflated your ego to the size of a walnut. You have to stop that needy stuff, and prove to yourself that you are alright. Go get another girl.........I kept dating and it got me in a way better head space.
CaliGuy Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 seriously what do you do if you think you've pushed your ex to the maximum with all your begging and pleading and silly little texts and e-mails saying you miss her, etc, etc? You go NC immediately. You've done a lot of damage and the more you talk to her, the more damage you will cause. The more you try to pull her to you, the more she is going to run away. And no woman on this planet will respect a man who begs. You have to have enough self-respect to walk away with your pride in tact. I think i've messed things up now and destroyed hopes of getting back with my ex who i was with for a year, and who i adored. She says to me now 'i've changed it' and that 'she DOESN'T want me, and she never will' and she finds me annoying and doesn't even wanna be my mate. That's exactly what happens when you beg. She will lose ANY romantic interest in you. Women aren't attracted to LOGIC, they are attracted to how a man makes her feel. And begging, in no way, shape or form makes her feel attracted to you. STOP right now and back way the h*ll off and give her lots and lots of space. i honestly thought i had another chance when she tells me i've changed it, presumably meaning how she felt about me, i'm gonna go NC but what can i do in order to stand another chance ever? It was a beautiful relationship we had and we only broke up coz the last two months were ****, due to me being depressed. You need to understand something here. You have absolutely NO CONTROL over her and her feelings. The only thing in this life that you control is yourself. You and YOU ALONE are responsible for your wants, needs and happiness. Not your ex. What I would suggest for you to do is reflect upon how you ended up going from a confident, secure guy to a needy/clingy guy. I would also suggest you read a book that will help you with this. "No More Mr. Nice Guy" (Glover). This book explains how men go from confident to wuss and how to fix yourself and regain the confidence you once had WITHOUT being a jerk. If I were in your shoes I would completely forget about your ex and move on with your life. Don't date right now. Read the book I suggested, start working out, invest in new hobbies and focus on healing yourself. Your ex is long gone and the sooner you realize that the sooner you will begin the healing process. I have been in your exact shoes and heard the same thing said to me. I can say with complete confidence that when a woman says her feelings have changed and she doesn't love you anymore that the relationship is DEAD and the odds of a second chance are ZERO. Forget her, my friend. It’s the biggest favor you can do for yourself. The sooner you do, the sooner you can move on with your life, find someone else and be truly happy.
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