Author LoveLace Posted November 28, 2008 Author Posted November 28, 2008 You sound desperate for admiration and love, not for sex. Theres a difference. Of course that halfway cute guy would be estatic if you called him, because obviously he just wants to get laid. Good thing you're not desperate for sex! lol Love and admiration is what I was talking about....I was talking about relationships in general...again there are several guys I could get that from if I wanted those particular guys, but I don't. I think a desperate person would consider taking advantage of these guys, (hell, guys do it to girls just maybe for different reasons)...all these guys are friends of mine that really care about me; if I snapped my fingers they'd come running. In other words, if told them I liked them they would jump on going out with me. Not just sex, but going out. But none of them interest me in the same way; when I see them I have fun hanging out with them, but I seldomly call them because it tends to lead them on if I do. But in the mean time I know I can always count on them if I really need them - and I rarely "need" them unless maybe it's a desperate situation, like my car breaking down, they be right there to help me, and I express my appreciation greatly. But there are pretty justifiable reasons why I wouldn't date any of them (or sleep with them); one of them will be living with mommy forever, another one is having an affair, another one drinks too much...and sew on. I refuse to settle for even these very kind men because there are things about them that are enough to rule out a relationship easily. However, they are there for me in ways that I'd like a boyfriend to be. So when I look at guys, I always ask myself if he could be that kind of person. And a lot of times, the answer is no for various reasons - so if this new guy turns out that way, I'll be better off if he doesn't call. But there's still a chance that he'll turn out cool one day - who knows. I think my desperation is to be out of the dating game because I'm tired of it. Otherwise, I have plenty of love and admiration in my life. I'd lie if I haven't felt desperate for sex because I go months without. But I'm okay going without, that is if the next guy is worth doing it with! When he's not, it gets frustrating. And if I feel needy ever, it's usually because of love I want give, as opposed to getting it. Not that I don't feel deprived of some needs though because I do. But I don't get frustrated with guys and dating because of that. I get frustrated with them because it's always 1 of 3 things: 1) he likes me, but I don't return the feeling 2)I like him, but he doesn't return the feeling 3) We like each other, but because of _____ I could never date him! So I'm dying to find a situation unlike any of those. I get upset when I realize Oh, here's another one of those...as of now it's a feeling of aggravation more than desperation. But some days (like today) I don't care either way. Tomorrow could be different, but I'd doubt it...
Author LoveLace Posted November 28, 2008 Author Posted November 28, 2008 My ex would almost never respond to my texts because he was too cheap to pay the twenty cents. Lovelace: Whatever happened with the musician? Actually a nice thing came out of that! We finally talked and we are just friends. And I was quite relieved once it came out. Just saw him the other night and there is no awkwardness. He is always there to listen to me and give feedback and vice-versa; so when I knew he didn't want to date me, I was actually glad - glad to be on the same page without all the damn mystery. It was driving me crazy. So I wasn't unsatisfied with the result...I do still think he's fabulous that will never change; but there's nothing wrong with thinking your friend is fabulous...thanks for askin'
shadowplay Posted November 28, 2008 Posted November 28, 2008 Actually a nice thing came out of that! We finally talked and we are just friends. And I was quite relieved once it came out. Just saw him the other night and there is no awkwardness. He is always there to listen to me and give feedback and vice-versa; so when I knew he didn't want to date me, I was actually glad - glad to be on the same page without all the damn mystery. It was driving me crazy. So I wasn't unsatisfied with the result...I do still think he's fabulous that will never change; but there's nothing wrong with thinking your friend is fabulous...thanks for askin' No problem. I'm glad that gave you some closure about the situation.
Author LoveLace Posted November 29, 2008 Author Posted November 29, 2008 No problem. I'm glad that gave you some closure about the situation. Yea the other night I really needed someone to "unload" with about stressful things and he patiently listened. It was one of them things where he was the right person for the job that particular day...after that I was so thankful that we are still friends even though he knew I liked him. So now I don't want to lose that privalege! However, I certainly wish I'd attract more guys as cool as he is. Seems like such an ongoing, unneccessary problem that won't go away.
Recommended Posts