stoneymirror Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 My ex dumped me two weeks ago and I'm totally confused as to what to do. Or if I should do anything... She broke up with me almost a yr ago regarding these same exact insecurities, but then came back to me saying she couldn't stay away. So a yr passes and she basically does the same thing to me. We get in a fight over the same insecurities, she thinks about it by herself for a week, doesn't talk to me about it, and then dumps me out of nowhere. Here I am wondering what the F just happened. Yeah I understand what she's upset about, and I try and reassure her and ask her to talk about it, but she doesn't. Rather she tells me we're too different, and that she doesn't see things working out for us. I hardly say a word cause I'm paralyzed with what she's saying, and she's on a mission to get through this so I let her continue. Much of what came out of her mouth seemed totally blown out of proportion and so black and white. and on top of that she throws in there a bunch of stuff that makes me think she doesn't even want to be doing this. Rather doing it to save herself from getting hurt. She tells me she loves me, that she's self sabotaging the relationship, that she didn't have these feeling a week earlier, etc. and at the end she tries giving me a hug and tells me she'll call me in 2 months if everything goes well. So here I am left to wonder what the F just happened. I tried texting her a few days afterwards but she responded saying she doesn't want to talk right now and to respect her and not contact her. At this point I just want some closure. I feel I deserve that. But she isn't ready to talk... So I'm left here wondering if I should do anything. She never heard my feelings and now that a few weeks have passed I'm wondering if I should just send her a letter with my thoughts so that I can go on with my life knowing she knows how I feel. What do you guys think? PS: We're both very stubborn people and have a lot of pride. Which only prolongs these sort of things and keeps us from moving forward.
Surfer Dude Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 I also never got any closure from my ex. When we broke up, she just sent me an email with the dumbest breakup excuses possible, such as "I wanna have more time for trying out new cuisine" and "I'm enjoying my life so much, I wouldn't have the time to talk to you anymore". I wonder if any of her dumb friends told her to tell me this, but these are surely the most retarded reasons I've ever seen Anyways, sorry for the digression. You have to realize that real closure comes from the inside, not the outside. Your ex could tell you all sorts of things to make you feel better(or worse), but you will never get over her unless you forgive her for what she did to you and try to release the pain and grudge you're holding. I know this is a slow process and that doing that only 2 weeks from breakup seems more impossible than climbing mt Everest in shorts. As for pride, I suggest you try to ditch it and have an honest and open talk with her. You never know, everything might still work out for the best. Pride on both sides is what made my breakup so ugly.
spupwc Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 It's hard, believe me and the rest of us at Ls but going nc wud be the best in the long run for u my friend... she knows where u are n in time she will wonder wat ur up too and will call....get ur power bak, start moving on like u r the dumper, it will help u in recovery and if she is def. thru, ur that much closer to healing from this....I wish I did this, it wud of saved alot of heartache and maybe things wud be differant.....stbxh....blah,blah,blah
fabulousgal Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 the only closure you will ever get is with yourself. it doesn't exist between 2 people. period. nothing she can say will make you feel at ease or give you answers. if she is nice and says nice things to you, the question: if I'm so great why is she doing this. if she says mean things you, the question: how could she??? she sounds like she has some issues to work out or maybe feels like she needs to experience more. i'm sorry you are hurting. but please don't think answers from her will help you at all...it'll make it worse unless the answer is your relationship.
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