SarahT111 Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 Just wondering ... If you had a chance to pay an ex back would you? My ex lied to me and treated me like crap, now he is wandering around all happy with a smug smile on his face and I have since found information that could wipe that smile off. Would you wait, be the bigger person and hope karma plays its part, Or would you hurry things along a bit and let your ex know that you onto them? I just dont know what to do,I have discovered some amazing information about my ex that could ruin him and I just dont know what to do with it! Im not mean enough to post it on the net or even tell anyone, just simply wanted to let him know I know and scare him a bit. Any thoughts?
BCCA Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 Not worth it. Be the bigger person. Everything in life happens for a reason, and comes out even in the end. All you're going to do is waste your time on someone that isnt worth it. Karma...
cubbie30 Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 i too have information about my ex that would ruin him. he is quite aware that i know about it and so is his new girlfriend. all i have to do is make a phone call and it would be done, but i don't think that is going to make me feel any better in the end. some days when i'm feeling especially bad or lonely knowing that he lied to me about her and how he could just move on like that, i want to make that call. other days i would regret it. i know my ex has enough misery in his head (baggage well before me) so i am trying to just let it all go.
EmperorR Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 Be the bigger person and let it go. My ex lied and cheated on me, I could easilely destroy her but what goes around comes around. When your up there is only one way to go and that's down.
Surfer Dude Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 Just wondering ... If you had a chance to pay an ex back would you? My ex lied to me and treated me like crap, now he is wandering around all happy with a smug smile on his face and I have since found information that could wipe that smile off. Would you wait, be the bigger person and hope karma plays its part, Or would you hurry things along a bit and let your ex know that you onto them? I just dont know what to do,I have discovered some amazing information about my ex that could ruin him and I just dont know what to do with it! Im not mean enough to post it on the net or even tell anyone, just simply wanted to let him know I know and scare him a bit. Any thoughts? Sarah, you should never think of revenge, unless they killed your family members and burned down your house or something. My ex also treated me like crap, cheated on me and then dumped me. She was my fiance that I would've given my life for, any yet she dumped me for several men and went on a whoring spree. I got tons of our xxx videos and pics, and I could easily send those to all her best friends on facebook and to her current boyfriend. Would I do that? Not even if you pointed a gun to my head. She was once a person I loved. Even though all I have is mixed feelings (contempt, anger, hate), I would never try to harm a woman I once cared about and wanted to spend my life with. She made some extremely dumb choices, but that's on her. Maybe it will never get back to her. Maybe it will. Maybe karma will work and maybe it won't. It doesn't matter and I don't care. All I know is that I would never want to cause harm to anyone, especially not the woman I loved before.
Author SarahT111 Posted November 25, 2008 Author Posted November 25, 2008 Hi all Thanks for that! I wasn't thinking of doing anything awful, I dont think I quite worded my OP properly!! I just found out that he had been sending photos with no clothing on to another person during our relationship! Ther person approached me and showed me the photos and the sent date etc. Also showed me the txt messages which confirmed they were having an affair. I always had my suspisions but he lied to me everyday about it and made up all these awful stories to everyone to make the other person look like a stalker. He bought the other person down and spread horrible stories abuot them. I wasn't ever planning on telling anyone or posting around the photos or anything, I just kind of want him to know that I know the truth now, and that im not a doormat who he can just lie to and get away with! The person who he had an affair with was somewhat an appropraite person to do so with (ie married, very big age gap) There is NO WAY I would ever destroy families and lives with this I just want him to know I know the truth now. I feel very annoyed and stupid that he is out there with a big grin on his face after destroying two people with his lies and everyone thinks hes a saint. I want him to know im onto him just to wipe the corners of that smile off, but I would NEVER ever tell anyone!
Trialbyfire Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 Sarah, you have to ask yourself why this married woman would give you this information. Is she hoping you'll do her dirty work for her? Also, how will you feel after doing this? Can you live with yourself? Revenge is best served up cold and most definitely with no remorse. Think it through.
fabulousgal Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 i wouldn't, until the pics get out he'll blow you off and say you are the jealous ex. now say good riddance and focus on bigger and better things.
Trialbyfire Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 One thing I should clarify is that each person has to take the course of action that best suits them. That's why I asked you the previous questions. In all honesty, if the shoe were on my foot, I would have to weigh how detrimental this information is to him. If you consider it, how could the information you possess impact negatively on a single guy? That he chose to forward inappropriate materials to a known married woman and had an affair, isn't illegal activity. Also, how would you go about revealing this information and to whom would you do it with, to have any serious ramifications, are all issues to consider. You mentioned that she showed you the information. Did she also forward you the emails, etc.? If not, it will be your word against his. The balance to consider is if this married woman would back you up. As a married person, she has a greater reason to hide this, since her marriage is at stake. Is this really worth it to you? The best part of this is that you weren't committed to him for life. You escaped before you got engaged or married. Maybe it's time to just let the jerk go and move on with your life. My twisted sense of humour can't help wonder how he would feel if his nude pic were posted on the Internet!
Sysyphus28 Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 Be the bigger person and let it go. My ex lied and cheated on me, I could easilely destroy her but what goes around comes around. When your up there is only one way to go and that's down. Listen to emperor..............................being vengeful and hateful just prolongs your own cycle of pain. It would feel good for my rotten X to feel like crap because she is a piece of crap....BUT Whatever. She had a choice not to be with me. She is an individual who has choices. We were not married and she is still young. F-her.
Trialbyfire Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 Now that I'm aware he didn't cheat on you, just stay away from him. He's one confused dude.
Author SarahT111 Posted November 26, 2008 Author Posted November 26, 2008 lol trialbyfire!!! I admit, how he would feel about having his pictures posted on the internet crossed my mind also! Not that I would ever do anything like that of course. And no you are right he didn't cheat, I guess im just unhappy at being lied to and this other person is a good friend of mine and I feel bad that my ex untruthfully dragged their name through the mud. I know I have to stay away and give him space but it just sucks, as despite what has happened, deep down I still love this guy so much, although it seems I have no right to now. Being with him was the first time I had been happy in a long time. We made future plans, and it all seems like I lived a lie. Im kind of numb now, I know I have to stay away or I will get hurt more but I do love him. Feels like my whole world has been ripped out from underneath me. How can I be happy and trust again now?
Trialbyfire Posted November 26, 2008 Posted November 26, 2008 Sweetie, you'll trust again. At least you know what not to look for, the next time around. Think of the way he is. Sexuality can be one confusing bag of tricks even when you know you're hetero. When you're uncertain if you're AC or DC, or denying it, even though you know it's true, imagine how confused you would be. Consider yourself, the one that got away. I can't imagine being with someone that confused, for years upon years, then when he comes out of the closet, realizing that you've just wasted those years with someone gay.
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