edinsvet Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 This might turn out to be a christmas alone. To make matters worse I won't even be able to see my family. Because they are across the ocean in America. I had 2 christmas' alone in my life. And they weren't bad because I was really pre-occupied. I am trying to not worry about this one, and make alternate plans that I can enjoy by myself in case I end up alone. And then I tell myself, it is great I can have some time to myself and I don't have to waste a bunch of money entertaining and buying presents for someone I don't care about. I feel good, and I am not scared. Then somebody brings it up. "What are you Doing for Christmas?" I say nothing THEY GET ALL SAD and then it brings me down. Like I should be? And then I get scared again. So.... Who is spending Christmas alone and what are you going to do to make yourself happy?
norajane Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 My first Thanksgiving after I moved to a new city some years ago, I wasn't able to fly home for the holiday and a lot of my friends did go home, so I thought I'd be alone. I was thinking it would be miserable, but I ended up helping at a church where they served dinner to the homeless. A friend of mine does that each year, and he invited me to help....it was fun and quite rewarding. And when I got home that evening, it made me appreciate what I had that much more. Christmas would be a good time to seek out something like that - it's a way to give back, and to make it special, rather than turning into a self-pity party.
Author edinsvet Posted November 24, 2008 Author Posted November 24, 2008 Thanks that is a really good idea!
norajane Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 Thanks that is a really good idea! And all those people who would pull the SAD faces when you tell them what you're doing, will then be pulling this face:
amiracle Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 Hey, good to know I am not the only one who does not mind being on their own over the holidays! My family and most of my friends are on other continents and I will keep in touch via phone and skype, but I like to stay here, where I am surrounded by wilderness and enjoy that too much to travel overseas. I spent 2 holiday seasons here on my own, because I wanted to and loved every minute. With modern technology you can still stay in touch with others, so it is not like I have no contact with anyone. I always felt strange when people started to think that I would be lonely on my own- so now I don't mention to people what my plans are. It makes them feel better! I am a very sociable person and love being around people, but sometimes I need peace- and the holidays are ideal. No work- and everyone is hopefully having a good time with their families, friends- and on their own too. I know I feel relaxed and refreshed after the holidays! It is so peaceful!
Trialbyfire Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 This might also be my first Christmas alone. My parents are going to Scottsdale with friends, leaving the extended family to their own resources. I do have invites to assorted family and friends' places but without everyone, I don't know if I feel like going. Yes, this is a full blown whine and pout! I'm almost tempted to do a family Christmas at my parent's place. Or maybe, go somewhere hot with friends. Or maybe, pout and whine at home by myself. You have the option of hosting a Christmas party for singles and couples with no extended family. Maybe even a potluck.
PrincessPeach Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 Instead of saying "nothing" how about you reply with something like "I'll be enjoying some time by myself." If you are looking to be occupied or busy with yourself on the holiday, tell them that instead of nothing. If you tell them that you'll be quite busy or that you have something planned on your own they are a lot less likely to give you the sad face. Portray to them that you are fine with it and they will reflect that. If you say nothing, you sound sad about it like you should be doing something and of course they are going to react sadly. So often people look for answers to a problem elsewhere, when many times it is only a problem with themselves.
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