arbre Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 I've been living together with this girl that I love more than anything for more than a year, now she's doubting her love for me. We're on some kind of a break, though we still see eachother regularly. Short back story: I was working for a year, saving up money, rarely doing anything outside of work. I know now she lost respect for me during that time and felt bad for leaving me back home when going out etc., even though I never complained. We still had a great time together and I could tell she loved me. She started working part-time while studying this semester, and hanging out with friends more. I didn't really mind, but it came to a point where she rarely spent any time with me and I could tell she looked at me in a strange way. So I confronted her: Do you want to break up, see other people? -Maybe Are you still in love with me? -I dont know I also asked her if she was in love, or seeing someone else, but she replied no in such a confident manner I don't suspect her of any of that. Although my lovesick mind does fantasise on occasion... Apparently though, she was afraid she'd lose me. She wanted time and space, so I decided to move out soon after. She did have the off day while still living together when she was happy to see me, and said she didn't want me to move out. Then work/school/friends seemed to cloud her mind and it was back to being genuinely annoyed by my presence. I felt absolutely horrible, I had no motivation other than getting really drunk on the weekends. Thing are better now, we see eachother at least once a week, talk almost every day. She told me that 'of course' she still loves me, you just don't stop loving someone', that we have a future, but she isn't attracted to me anymore and she doesn't know if those feelings will ever come back. That's not to say we never touch eachother, we kiss and hug eachother but that's it. The other day I wrote her a 'love letter' and she softened a great deal, I want to think there's hope. I notice how the amount of things going on in her life is affecting her behaviour towards me, on a really busy day she ignores me, snaps at me. Other times she enjoys my company, but not long ago she would be nice to me no matter what. I really love her, and I don't want to keep her in a relationship with someone she's not attracted to. I feel pathetic but I want to fight for her love. What can I do?
sscutie Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 It seems to me that this is just a normal phase of a relationship... sumtimes you just have to tide it through...
Yamaha Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 but she isn't attracted to me anymore and she doesn't know if those feelings will ever come back. If you want more than a friendship this is not acceptable. Do you want to just hangout and be her emotional support? She will, in time, look for another guy to be her BF abd then you will be just a back-up and friend. If she isn't attracted to you you need to accept it and look for someone else for a love connection.
Adamagnet Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 I want to think there's hope. The phrasing of this statement, leads me to think that you know the eventual conclusion to the story. Wouldn't you prefer reciprocation in a relationship anyway?
Viking Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 The phrasing of this statement, leads me to think that you know the eventual conclusion to the story. Wouldn't you prefer reciprocation in a relationship anyway? I said the same thing when my GF broke up with me (I want to think that there is hope...). We're not together and I've moved on to something that I hope will turn out to be better!
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