dabears Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 Hello all, I would appreciate any feedback! I have been hanging out with this girl for a few months now. We have gotten along great!..After the the first couple months I asked her about taking what we have to the next level. Just see where it goes. She told me that she is not wanting to start any kind of commitment until she moves out on her own and away from her parents. I guess i get a little down that she does not want to be with me, because I think if both people liked each other enough, they would try it out and see what could happen. I have so many times wanted to tell her that I just cant deal with this anymore, I have given more feelings to her than I feel like i have received. Granted I know living at home, does not make everything that easy. She does call me everyday, most of the time we talk when she gets home from work, and then she will call before she goes to bed. We hang out about 3-4 times a week at her place, go out to eat, movies, dinner, etc...And it seems like everytime we drink, when we get back our situation gets brought up, such as what are we, what should we do, she says that I am not wasting my time with her. When we were at a bar, she got mad at me, because she said I was trying to make her jealous(which I was not), because I was talking with my old high school friends that happened to be girls.. She knows I like her, and she says it back, but it is so frustrating to give my feelings and not know why she doesnt seem to commit. I guess she would not call or hang out if she didnt like me. I am a patient guy but I can only wait so long!.. She also tells me that she has no interest in anyone else, and gets upset when i bring that up, but i cant help it because to me that is a good reason not to commit.
Yamaha Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 YOU need to be less available to her and spend more time doing your own thing. You are in danger of becoming in the FZ. If a women doesn't want to go to the next level after a few months then there is something keeping her from committing. Don't be afraid of telling her if she doesn't want more then you are prepared to walk as your needs are not being met.
alphamale Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 She does call me everyday, most of the time we talk when she gets home from work, and then she will call before she goes to bed. We hang out about 3-4 times a week at her place, go out to eat, movies, dinner, etc... start talking with her only twice per week and getting together only once per week and see what happens....and also tell her you're thinking about seeing other girls
Author dabears Posted November 24, 2008 Author Posted November 24, 2008 She does all the calling, I dont call her. So, should I not answer some of her calls, every other day or so?
Trialbyfire Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 After the the first couple months I asked her about taking what we have to the next level. How old are you and what do you mean by this?
Author dabears Posted November 25, 2008 Author Posted November 25, 2008 early 20's..and the next level..i mean she is the other half of my plans and i am the other half of her plans
lazlow99 Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 I was in a situation like this once. She called me all the time, I made myself available all the time, I think I was too desperate for things to work out. If I'd had stepped back and looked at the situation properly things might've worked out but she ended up standing me up a few times and I just thought forget it. Looking back I'm better off without her because I got the impression when we talked, she was always indirectly trying to get me to say how great she was. She was a massive attention seeker and very selfish. All I'd say is they need to fit around your life, you can't drop everything for someone. My limited experience is that girls like you more for living your own life, and not being at their beck and call.
lovelorcet Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 You are in the friends zone and you need to be a bit honest with yourself here. You are not really capable of being her friend because you have a romantic interest for her. She is just using you for emotional support until something better comes along.
Author dabears Posted November 25, 2008 Author Posted November 25, 2008 Yeah, this what I have been thinking for some time!...I keep telling myself to back off a bit and see what happens!...We have a great time together, we are intimate, and do all you can really do I guess...its just hard for me to back off, because I kinda want the good thing to keep going....She told me I was not wasting my time, so who knows!...I guess my big thing is if she did not want to hang out or still be together, she would not call or be avaible for me...
dema1 Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 If you ask me, you need to get other options at the same time. I think she might be stringing you along until she finds something better. I'm sure there are a lot of other females out there who would be willing to take it to the next level and not play games with you. As soon as she finds out that you have other options she will come running into your arms. Having other options will make her attraction for you shoot up through the roof. So go ahead and enjoy yourself, do not make someone a priority while you are just their option.
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