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rain check: polite blow off or truly busy?


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Posted

Hi everyone, i'm new to the board and have a question, specifically about getting a "rain check" and also about mixed signals. I'm a senior in college and the guy i've recently been seeing is sending mixed signals. Here's a little timeline

 

october 17th: meet at a small dinner with mutual friends, talk a ton, we all hang out after as a group, more flirting

 

october 24th: run into him, offers to walk me to class, gets my number. hang out at a party that night, he walks me home and kisses me good night

 

october 25th: both out at parties, he texts me, but i'm taking care of my drunk friend and can't hang out

 

october 31st: go on a double date with two mutual friends, that he arranged, who have been dating for two years, i offer to pay my share but he refuses

 

november 1st: hang out and kiss again

 

november 4th: he walks me to class again, says we should hang out that evening - get ice cream

 

november 7th:go out to dinner, his suggestion

 

november 8th: hang out at another party, he walks me home again, says we should hang out more often. I suggest hanging out on wednesday, he looks kinda shocked, says he's "down for that", we agree to 9 pm

 

november 11th: no word from him, text him at 10, he says he's stuck working on a project but wants to hang out after...don't see him till 1130 pm hang out for a little and i suggest he goes home, we both have class the next day.

 

november 14th: he comes to my sorority formal with me as my date (which he cancelled a trip to see a friend at a neighboring college in order to come as my date), he acts slightly awkward and a little distant, but stays by my side the entire time, very attentive, great date

 

november 18th: we hang out again, my suggestion, just watch a movie, have a lot of fun, talk for hours

 

november 23rd: no word from him all weekend, he texts saying he wishes he'd seen me that weekend, why didn't i text him, so i suggest hanging out that evening, we agree to 8 pm, no word from him till 11 pm (says he fell asleep after dinner and woke up then and asked for a rain check)

 

I have a few questions:

 

1. is a rain check a polite blow off or an apology in this case?

 

2. what's with the mixed signals ?

 

3. I feel like I'm doing all the work recently and being the aggressor. is there any way to turn this around to the way it was at the beginning? or at least to where he's putting in more effort?? I really do like this guy but i refuse to be anyone's "good time girl."

Posted

Guys have their slip ups too. Just because he didn't hang out with you ONE night, doesn't mean he isn't still interested. You're being really accommodating in your willingness. Be a little less available. He probably did fall asleep and stuff. He probably feels bad about it too because he does like you. Instead of asking us, ask him what the deal is.

Posted

From the history it sounds like the guy is busy and maybe a little burnt from school. His time management skills leave something to be desired but I don't think those should be considered 'mixed' signals. For six weeks worth of interaction you've seen one another a good number of times. I'm sure rain check means rain check. Don't take any of it personally.

Posted

Hmmm..... it sounds like he is into you. A lot of guys that age don't understand the importance of calling when they say they will.

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