serialgf Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 so i wondered if i should even bother posting this, because it's not like it's earth-shattering or anything, but something my bf said recently has stuck in my mind and i wanted to get y'all's opinion on it relevant details: he's 36, i'm 28, dating for 2 months, see each other every day, sleep together every night, both of us have a past of very long-term relationships so thats how we're wired, he's still a bit traumatized from a relationship that ended 2 years ago where she was horribly abusive to him so he has some emotional blockades/issues over that... so we were hanging out after we'd been at the bar at my house, he had been drinking and this is the convo that went down: him: "you know if you're patient with me, i think i would make a good *(5 second pause)* person" me: (seeing the funny awkward look on his face being curious as to what he meant) "a good person for what exactly?" him: "like a good husband" *(10 second pause)* .... or a cat" me: "well, i am very patient. and while i'm being patient i can think about whether i want you to be a husband or a cat" what do you guys think? just silly drunk talk? indicative of anything? i welcome your responses!
Author serialgf Posted November 24, 2008 Author Posted November 24, 2008 does anyone think this has any significance???
movingonandon Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 does anyone think this has any significance??? This has no significance whatsoever, unless he meant that being with you makes him a cool cat , in which case take it mostly as a very, very awkward compliment. He doesn't need your patience to be a good husband, but he may have wanted to let you know that he feels that he could and should offer you more which is awww so sweet, though there is a fine line between being insecure and appreciative of you. Hopefully he keeps it on the right side of the line. In the meantime, enjoy your cat. He's kinda purring.
JoeNat Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 Well, I feel relationships are all about psycological games. Basically he is telling you that he really cares about you and wants a future with you. He is telling you in a way so that he is not leaving himself out there on a limb. People say things in a joking matter so that they can get them off their chest and not be responsible for them. "Hey those jeans make you look fat...nah just kidding" Also drunk people are truthful people.
refurb Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 Basically he is telling you that he really cares about you and wants a future with you. That's how I would see it. He's starting to feel like the two of you have long-term potential. RF
Geishawhelk Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 ...Also drunk people are truthful people. Actually exactly so! "In vino veritas" means 'In wine, there is truth'. That is to say, alcohol loosens the tongue. But he probably realised, even in his tiddly-ness that maybe he might be saying something in the 'commitment' zone, so even though his heart may be saying "Yessss! I would marry you!" his mind is saying - "Whoah there.... easy tiger.... put a joke on it, so she can't hold you accountable!" I think.
norajane Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 Drunk people say a lot of things they mean...at the time. When sober returns, reality crowds back in. My view is, at the time, he felt very close to you and felt you two could maybe make it together for the long haul. I wouldn't hold him to it in the light of day, not after only 2 months together, but he meant it at the time.
Angel1111 Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 I liked your comback. That was funny. I think it means that when his inhibitions are down, he starts thinking about how things are between the two of you, maybe that he's not as quick to get close as he once was but knows that he can get there with you. I think it was sweet.
Jersey Shortie Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 That was hysterical and cute. I think he is trying to tell you that he sees more potential in your relationship.
Author serialgf Posted November 25, 2008 Author Posted November 25, 2008 I liked your comback. That was funny. I think it means that when his inhibitions are down, he starts thinking about how things are between the two of you, maybe that he's not as quick to get close as he once was but knows that he can get there with you. I think it was sweet. haha yeah it gave me a sweet fuzzy feeling. actually, i didn't post his response to me which was: him: "oh good, that is precisely what i want you to be thinking about." hehe. the next morning i actually did remind him of what he said. he drinks a lot so i often recap him on the end of the previous night, and i told him. he smiled. he's told me numerous times, both when sober and when drinking, that he is very much into commitment, that he's extremely loyal, and that he likes the idea of going through life with a partner.... this all feels like some sort of dream come true to me, pardon the cheesiness, because having a life partner and a family is what i've always wanted and i've never dated someone who wanted the same things (at least not since i've been an adult) i'm just full of this anticipation and excitement and i just want someone to tell me something i might be missing!
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