JoeNat Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 So, this is my first post here and hoping that I make sense with this: I have a new GF (4 months) she has been on and off with this ex of hers for about 15 years. Mostly off but he has always been in her life one way or the other. He bought her a dog about 14 years ago and has always helped take care of the dog regardless if she was in a new relationship or not. This past weekend he saw us together and text her a message stating that he saw us together. That following Thursday he called stating that he got rid of his pitbull and he wants to now help take care of the dog again. What I mean by again is back in May of this year he completely got out of their lives (my GF and her dog) but all of a sudden after he saw us together he now wants to get back in her life and help out. I know he just got rid of his other dog because I called the animal hospital and they told me the exact day he came in with his dog. She thinks that he did not decide to get rid of his dog this fast. That he must of gotten rid of some time ago. She fails to see his tactic. Am I wrong to think that he has other motives. She tells me that she dosent like him in that way and havent for years now but for some reason she just doesn't know how to say no to him. I dont know if it is that he has been a type of father figure to her or not. I'm just a little worried and my own insecurties are popping up because of the years they have together. Any tips, or words of wisdom would be great. Thanks,
prettybaby Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 She needs to put her foot down. It's obviously her dog at this point, and there's nothing to take care of; that's BS. I was in the same situation where my first husband gave me a puppy. It was ours for a while, but then we split and it became MY dog. I wouldn't want anybody to randomly pop in and take care of my dog when it's convenient for them. There's nothing to care of anyway. What exactly would he do? Walk him? please. She needs to make a decision. This is a dog we're talking about, not a child with shared custody.
Author JoeNat Posted November 24, 2008 Author Posted November 24, 2008 That is what I was saying. When she told me on Friday night I blew a gasket. I pretty much told her, it is either him or me. I then said he is still in love with you and is just doing this to tell you I can come in and out of your life as I please and there is nothing you or your new BF can do about it. She fails to see this for some reason. I know she still cares for him especially since his father just passed away last month. I'm trying to be understanding but it is very hard. I also said this is just a dog and there is no custody battle. I believe her when she says she doesn't care for him in that way anymore but I know he does. I'm a guy, I know how guys think...
Viking Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 He's trying to get back in, be it with a dog or not, but the dog is just an excuse. Tell her that she needs to see it for what it is, an unstable relationship (his and hers, not yours), and that its been on and off for so long that it has progressed past anything romantic. He's controlling and she needs to kick him to the curb. Maybe just slip the dog some chocolate? That would give him zero reasons to come back. (But really, don't kill your GF's dog.)
Author JoeNat Posted November 24, 2008 Author Posted November 24, 2008 He's trying to get back in, be it with a dog or not, but the dog is just an excuse. Tell her that she needs to see it for what it is, an unstable relationship (his and hers, not yours), and that its been on and off for so long that it has progressed past anything romantic. He's controlling and she needs to kick him to the curb. Maybe just slip the dog some chocolate? That would give him zero reasons to come back. (But really, don't kill your GF's dog.) I know, but she fails to see this for what reason I dont know. I know exactly what he is trying to do. But do I allow it and now we have a dog sitter for when we go away? Can I look at it this way? Do I trust as I have no reason not to at this point? Should I feel insecure about this guy and that I have to "share" our lives? These are all questions I have. It makes me angry at the fact that I have to think about them at all when we should just be enjoying each other.
Trialbyfire Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 That following Thursday he called stating that he got rid of his pitbull and he wants to now help take care of the dog again. Is she nuts? What kind of loving pet owner would just "get rid" of his dog? Speaks for the type of person he is.
Author JoeNat Posted November 24, 2008 Author Posted November 24, 2008 Is she nuts? What kind of loving pet owner would just "get rid" of his dog? Speaks for the type of person he is. I KNOW!!! That is exactly what I told her but she doesn't think he got rid of the dog that same week he saw us. She doesn't know that I called up the animal hospital and found out for sure. I'm kind of leaving that in my back pocket.
Recommended Posts