DollWelch Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 I'm trying to connect the dots. First off I'll start by saying that I'd like an outsider's point of view on this matter. This man's behavior, whether he's genuinely and romantically interested in me -and if all of this is a good indication of the relationship I have with him, is the source of my questioning. As of lately, one of my close male friends -if not, my best male friend- has been dreaming of me. I understand that I have a close friendship with him, this is why it's all the more complicated. I don't want to shatter all he and I have built merely because one of us is hoping for something more. Dreams that revolve around me, largely. I don't often ask him to delve into them, nor share them with me, but rather he does it at his own comfort and will. He's had quite a few dreams. Not sexual ones, at least from the information he's shared with me, but very mysterious, compassionate, and intriguing dreams. He has asked me before, whether his dreams are a good or bad sign. I honestly couldn't provide him with an answer, because I wasn't sure of why he'd be experiencing this -and sharing it with me. Not only that, but I've noticed he hasn't been talking to me much lately -at least for the last 1-2 months. I feel as though he's been avoiding me -or better yet, doesn't appreciate me as a friend, or finds me a complete and utter turn off all of a sudden. Is he hiding something from me? Why is he acting this way? He and I have always had a very good friendship, and I consider him a loyal, caring and trustworthy friend. But maybe I'm wrong? Some much needed input would be great. Thank you.
prettybaby Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 So if I get this right ... he started telling you about dreams he had (which revolved around you) and has since then become more distant? He clearly has issues. What's his love past like? And what were the dreams about exactly? Two options here: -1- The answer either lies in the dream thing; something about it is bothering him seriously, so you're gonna have to analyze what it is exactly that he dreamt about. (PS: could your reaction when he told you about them have bothered him?) -2- The dreams and the loss of interaction with him are 2 different issues that aren't related at all. Could anything else have happened to make him react this way?
Viking Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 I would imagine that since he started dreaming about you that he started to have feelings for you (one way or another). He tells you about them and you probably didn't react the way he was hoping (by being flattered and maybe wanting to date a little). So, when he says he's interested, albeit a roundabout way with the dreams, and you don't respond the way he was hoping, he's going to feel like you two are on different levels and not want to mix "business with pleasure", and is thus distancing himself so that he can reign in his emotions before they ruin what you two have (a platonic friendship?). I had recurring dreams about this one girl who works at the same store as me, but in it, she's always being really pushy and laying it on very thick and flirting with me, when I am not as interested as her. Very similar to real life, but she's always emerging from the wine section and chasing me down. Its weird. She's kind of a stalker too. I am actually a little afraid of her because she knows where I live and I like this other girl (see my thread...) and am afraid when she finds out that I like another girl that she'll get all pissy and mad and stuff because she'll think I was leading her on. I've hugged her maybe twice, I'm not sure. Time for a thread on that subject I guess. Anyways, back on track. He likes you as more than a friend, you're not sure what you think of him in that respect. Maybe you should reach out to him. Why wouldn't you want to date your best male friend? Just don't treat him as a shoulder to cry on when you're having boy problems, that's the worst thing you can do.
Author DollWelch Posted November 25, 2008 Author Posted November 25, 2008 -1- The answer either lies in the dream thing; something about it is bothering him seriously, so you're gonna have to analyze what it is exactly that he dreamt about. (PS: could your reaction when he told you about them have bothered him?) Without going into details, I can only analyze his dreams so much -i.e. to a certain extent. HE is the one that can fully know the meaning behind each dream. What could be bothering him? I don't think there is anything. The ONLY thing I can think of is the fact that he just recently came out of a relationship with a woman whom didn't appreciate him at all. YET, he said she was the bestest girlfriend he's ever had. Strange? I'm not one to judge, but she was far from the perfect/ideal girlfriend. -2- The dreams and the loss of interaction with him are 2 different issues that aren't related at all. Could anything else have happened to make him react this way? As a person I have changed in the last portion of my life, and he is aware of this. Perhaps, this, is the reason as to why he's treating me differently. But, he has changed too. He's putting a good effort into meeting new women. He talks about some, but very rarely, and only to ask questions. Just don't treat him as a shoulder to cry on when you're having boy problems, that's the worst thing you can do. I have to admit. ^^^^THAT is exactly what I have been doing. I RUN to him, whenever I'm going through a rough patch with men in my life. He's been incredibly supportive, and understanding. I share and talk to him about my troubles, and experiences -and he's always there to give me advice and as you say "a shoulder to cry on". But, he tells me when he meets new women -though NOT as often as I do. He always does this weird thing, where he continuancely compares me to these other women -how they aren't "DollWelch"; they're unique, but I'm something totally different. I'm at a loss. I don't know what's on his mind. I want to know what going on. I'm such good friends with him, I DON'T KNOW how to separate my thoughts anymore.
Author DollWelch Posted November 25, 2008 Author Posted November 25, 2008 Feedback, anything would be nice to hear. I'm very tempted to go cry on his shoulder about a few things in my life right now. I know I shouldn't, as you guys have said, but I want to so bad.
Author DollWelch Posted November 26, 2008 Author Posted November 26, 2008 I caved in. I went ahead and bombarded him with my life again.
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