Saros200k Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 My girlfriend and I have dated off and on for 2 years. First we dated for 1 year, then she broke it off for 2 weeks because she said she wasn't happy, and then we got back together and broke up 10 months later last for 8 months. We got back together one week ago. Each time that we broke up, we both had been very distraught and both really wanted to break up. I wanted to break up with her, but felt that I couldn't. Most of this had to do with me being afraid that if I did, I would be alone. We had a lot of problems, and we had trouble compromising without fighting until we were both physically and emotionally exhausted. When we broke up the second time, I found out that a guy she had been talking to for a while (a childhood friend that walked into her life 2 weeks before we broke up) made out with her and had sex with her a few days afterwards. This was after we broke up, and I decided to get back together with my girlfriend even though this happened. We were both in a really bad place after the break up and leading up to the break up. I very much wanted to just break up with her and start dating someone else that I knew as well, things were so bad. We were constantly yelling and both cried on many an occasion. When we both started talking about getting back together a week ago, she said that she wanted to be completely honest with me and told me everything she'd done without me even asking. She told me every guy she kissed and the time she had sex with this guy which she admits was a mistake. I personally didn't have sex with anyone during the 8 months although I did kiss a few girls, flirted a lot, and didn't really stay loyal to her over the 8 months. I personally tried to forget her whenever I could and move on. I really love her, and we both are in much better points in our life. I know that since we've broken up, I've become a much better person and a person who is much better in a relationship. There's no other person that I've met that I've felt so comfortable around and click on so many levels. I couldn't throw away this relationship forever after meeting her again 8 months later only to find that we still fit together so well. My only trouble is that I feel like I should be upset about her sleeping with that guy a few days after we broke up. I say "I feel like I should be" because I really don't feel that upset. I don't have any feelings in the pit of my stomach, and I don't get upset about it. Occasionally it enters my mind, but that's about it. I could date so many other girls, but they just did not stack up to what we had together, even with all the fighting. Most of the problems that we had, we seem to have grown out of after being separated for 8 months, and part of me is thankful for that happening. Is this a normal reaction to this kind of thing? Does anyone have any advice about this? I just want to know your opinions. I really could use some right now.
samspade Posted December 2, 2008 Posted December 2, 2008 You are blinded by your unjustified devotion to this girl. I couldn't throw away this relationship forever after meeting her again 8 months later only to find that we still fit together so well. You fit together so well....so you broke up multiple times? What makes her so great if you two are so frequently yelling at each other? She is toying with you like a cat toys with a mouse...letting you go, catching you again, letting you go.... Meanwhile, it obviously bothers you that she slept with another guy a few days after you broke up (despite your statements to the contrary). This is because it's possible she's glossing over the truth, which is that she may have slept with him while you two were together - or at the very least, she laid the foundation for this to happen during that time. So let's examine... You constantly yell and cry in each other's company. You didn't break up with her even when you wanted to, because you were afraid of being alone. Every time she comes around to see if you want to get back together, you jump at the opportunity. You say you "could date so many women" but you did no more than make out with a girl during your interim. Meanwhile, she was out getting f*cked. In short, you have surrendered your manhood to this chick. She has power over you, and will probably not hesitate to dump your a$$ or cheat on you at this point. She knows she has you wrapped around her finger. My advice: Break up with her and find someone emotionally mature.
Mikey Action Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 In the simplest of terms, anyone who breaks up with someone to hook up with someone else days later is essentially avoiding cheating by a "technicality" in my opinion. I would be unable to trust this person. Only you can decide what is best for you though. Me? It may be hard, but there are lots of fish in the sea.
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