Grizzman Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 Why are all things in a relationship so complex sometimes. I have been befriending this woman for some time now that was in a very bad marriage to a control freak. I stepped over a line with an act of nobility that can be interpreted as an attempt to control and she got really upset with it. She knows that is not me but it scared her. I have talked to her 2 times in the last week, both times face to face the first time I told her I messed my friend, she said we are fine we will have what we had before I just need time. The second time I didnt see her on purpose. Its a usual place for me for dinner once a week where she works. I was going to get dinner and leave with minimal contact. She came over to me and said heeyyy I thought you were going to give me the week. I didnt know this and I imediatly went into oh ok sure whatever you want I can leave I just came for dinner. I got take out and before I left she grabbed me by my forearm or hand I dont remember exactly and she said thankyou. Now I understand how women need to sort through things sometimes and they need time to do it but why do I get the feeling that the use of the phrase I need time in this situation means that Im done. Has anyone ever been able to recover a relationship with that statment under this type of circumstance
Viking Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 The key is to not push. Give her her space and an extra day. When she asks why you didn't call her/see her on a week, tell her you wanted to make sure she had her space. After a while, things can get back to normal when she realizes that you do really care about her and doing what she requested shows that to her. Best thing to do is give the space she asked for and when you see her the next time, don't act as if anything is wrong.
Author Grizzman Posted November 24, 2008 Author Posted November 24, 2008 I wasnt going to make any new contact till after Thanksgiving. That would be 2 weeks since the incident. She had an invite with me and my family and I reassured her it was still available but she said she was going to her sisters now and that she needed to.
Author Grizzman Posted November 25, 2008 Author Posted November 25, 2008 I thought I would have gotten a call tonight because she was suppose to see her kids. I hope she made it
Author Grizzman Posted November 26, 2008 Author Posted November 26, 2008 SO today I get a text message from her. I lent her a DVD to watch and the text goes Hello I just wanted to let you know that I will leave your movie at the bar tonight. Last week when she told me we are fine, she just needs time she also told me that she was going to go to her sisters for Thanksgiving. Friday was supposed to be her last day at her night job. Is this Ill never see you again or is it I may be a while at my sisters which she has to fly to see. I answered her text with a thanks and have a happy holiday. She replied U too.
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