Idiosyncratic Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 I used to enjoy going out with my friends and going to the mall movies their houses, etc. But, in the past year or year and a 1/2, they all starting acting like douches to me. They constantly (and I mean CONSTATNLY) make fun of me, pick on me, and it's not a single friend just joking around, it's become a group thing where everyone is pretty much against me. My brother says to punch someone in the face when they disrespect you. But, do I hit everyone of my friends, and start a 1on 10 fight? O_o At my friend's birthday i had to leave early they were being such douches. My head hurts likehell, i get really dizzy, and really weak all when i get mad. That's probably not healthy. Oh well. Ok, send up the advice! EDIT: My bad, I accidentally put this in the love and friends forum and not the friendship forum.
amaysngrace Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 If they make you feel bad then why do you hang out with them? I don't mean to sound critical but if you have a problem with everyone then the problem is probably with you. Did you piss somebody off or something? Are you overly obnoxious? Do you complain a lot over things you can change but do nothing about them like you're doing right now??
Author Idiosyncratic Posted November 24, 2008 Author Posted November 24, 2008 If they make you feel bad then why do you hang out with them? I don't mean to sound critical but if you have a problem with everyone then the problem is probably with you. Did you piss somebody off or something? Are you overly obnoxious? Do you complain a lot over things you can change but do nothing about them like you're doing right now?? I literally NEVER complain, outloud anyway. Idk, I guess I say inappropriate things to make them all laugh, but I don't see how I would deserve this? O_o'
lazlow99 Posted November 26, 2008 Posted November 26, 2008 How long have you been friends with this group? It could be that they percive you to be the 'weakest' in the group and they're just a bunch of a**holes and theres a group mentality thing going on. Either way you shouldn't be friends or hang around with people who make fun of you all the time. There are better people out there.
sscutie Posted November 26, 2008 Posted November 26, 2008 Agree... why are you even hanging out with people who make you feel bad. Isnt the whole point of having friends is to be around people you have fun with?
Geishawhelk Posted November 26, 2008 Posted November 26, 2008 Brief history lesson. I used to be a doormat when I was younger, because I was small, looked much younger than I actually was, and wanted to be liked. people in my peer group literally looked down on me and treated me quite disdainfully, so i thought then, the way to be popular, was to be at their beck and call. One day, two girls took me to one side and just told me straight up that what I was doing was not doing me any favours. I was stunned. First of all that two people would actually take the time and trouble to kindly tell me this, and secondly, that it made me realise, like a sledgehammer to the chest, that they were right. From that day on - literally, from almost that moment, I stopped being the whipping post, fall-guy and pushover. A doormat no more. The astonishment in people's attitudes was remarkable. they couldn't believe I'd answer back, or stand up for myself, or refuse to bow down to their wishes, sarcasm, belittling, insults and condescention. I was never nasty, I was never rude back. But I let them know what I stood for. I also let them know what I wouldn't stand for. Now, I'm not suggesting this is a similar situation. But sometimes you have to draw a line in the sand and let people be crystal clear about who you are. Not rudely, not insultingly, but in a way that will gain you respect. Not ridicule.
beautifulearth83 Posted November 27, 2008 Posted November 27, 2008 Awesome story and advice Geisha...you rule. Idiosyncratic...Apart from any advice I'm just gonna let you know that it's gonna work out man... I've been teased before too... Geisha's post reminds me of a quote... "we teach other people how to treat us" I don't know who it's from...maybe a book or something I read online... anyway... good luck to you mate... have fun!
vintagecat Posted November 29, 2008 Posted November 29, 2008 Firstly fighting solves nothing. Your brother missed the mark. You need to find a way to stand up for yourself that actually is effective or better yet find a better class of friends. Whatever this group dynamic that has been created in your circle is certainly not healthy for you. If there is even one person that you trust that might be articulate, even handed/fair and that might have some insight into what might be going on, then I'd ask the question and ask them to be truthful with you, without punishment waiting in the wings. Be prepared for answers that you don't want to hear. Thank them for their candor, evaluate what has been said and decide for yourself what needs to be done. Usually it takes two to tango borrowing an old expression. Good luck to you.
huggies Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 Friends aren't supposed to hurt you. If you feel hurt and pushed aside, find another group that'll really care for you.
ThisGuy85 Posted December 5, 2008 Posted December 5, 2008 The problem may not be your "Friends" It may be in the way you present yourself. Do you command respect from those around you? Are you an individual, Or do you conform to the latest fads In an attempt to make people like you? Do you share your own thoughts and opinions, or do you just agree with what everyone else says and thinks? My advice would be to forget about them, They don't really sound like friends anyway. Go out and make yourself some real friends. People who like you for who you are. Also learn to stand up for yourself and command respect from people. As far as "Hitting them in the face" goes. It will not change how they look at you. Take it from a guy who's been in many fights in his life, Violence solves NOTHING!!! It only shows your lack of maturity, And your inability to solve problems in a civil way. I hope everything works out for you!
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