JooLee Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 im posting yet again but i know i wont feel better until i let it out.. so bare with me this time, i got a shock when i saw my ex on facebook again (he deactivated it when we were together claiming its stupid) . and tonight i see his name and status "im having fun " on my home page. His new gf commented on it saying "are you sure? cos im having a pretty f*cked up day" then suddenly i start obsessing. is the message for me? is he still out to get me that he's life is better without me in it? or is that message directed to her, that maybe they had a fight and he just wanted to spite her. if he did do it to spite her, than that is mean, and if he did it to spite me then it is mean too. you see sometimes our mind are our own worst enemy? these thoughts were so unnecessary! i couldnt stop thinking about this for an hour. However, im really proud of myself because right after i checked his profile, i deleted him, without regret. i just know that i dont want to have or want to know anything to do with him. but now i gotta have self control to not check his profile every now and then. what helps is reminding myself, that it is definitely not about me, because he is the past to me and i am the past to him. he loves someone else (although it still hurts sometimes thinking about it) and i am slowly trying to stop loving him. there is no we, it is just I. (reminds me of that alanis morisette song). i will survive this. i will pass this. and i will smile while doing it! he aint getting the best of me
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