We got back together...things are going well...but...

[juegosdeseduccion]

Me and my girlfriend went through a lot, She cheated on me, I cheated on her, I broke up with her, I kept leading her on then push her away, then when I finally realized how stupid I was being she said no, we were separated for 2 months, she was seeing some other guy, at first I begged her to comeback, obviously this was stupid, so I spent the the next few weeks, trying to accept the fact that she was gone, no problem I thought, she continued talking to me, even using stupid excuses to see me, such as "I left a shirt at your house could you bring it?" and blah blah, we hung out for my birthday, it was great, she started to really wanted to hang out, we had sex, the next day as we cuddled, she said, "can we just be friends?" I said "alright, but you have to let me heal, you have to leave me alone, don't talk to me, I will talk to you when I'm ready" this was the point when I knew it was over, I accepted it and started to move on, the same day she called me crying saying "please just give me 3 days" I said ok, but dont talk to me in this 3 days, she kept blowing up my phone, saying don't ignore me, saying I love you...etc, then after the last 3 days we finally reconciliated, she ended it with that guy, and we are happy...but!!!

 

Here is the but, it has been about a week, we are trying to take it slow, we haven't had full on sex, we've been pretty close but she stops it, or tries to control herself, which is weird for me, but I guess I understand, we talk like were together for sure, we say baby and I love you, I love you not too often, but she says it. I have a huge problem with trusting her, I didn't before, but now...I keep putting this scenes in my head like, what if she is seeing or talking that guy? I even went through her phone when she was asleep in my arms, I never had the need to do this things...its very strange I have alot of security and confidence, I feel kinda like I have no control, I found pictures of that guy in her phone, she had them before we got back together, but why are they still there?...I need to trust her, I am completely in love with her, I really am, she is my princess...but this is killing me, and she never gives me reasons why not to trust her...which makes me feel guilty...she is loving and beautiful...too beautiful for her own good lol but anyway...

 

another issue...she was never on birth control while she was with me, now she is, and she has horrible mood swings which really irritate me...how do I cope with this things? we've never had problems with pregnancy and she is taking it because she has irregular periods, how do I cope with this mood problems?

 

Please help!

[Dmoney28]

you said she never gave you a reason not to trust her? You mentioned in your post she cheated on you, and you cheated on her. Thats a major trust issue right there. IMO, it seems you guys didnt give each other enough time apart to work on regaining trust, or going through the 5 stages of grief that happens after a major break up of a LTR. Most people make the mistake of desciding things like "lets get back together and see where it goes" during the denial stage(first stage usually) of grief after a nasty breakup. They make rash choices because they are confused, shocked and acting out of emotion. It might be better to have given each other 2-3 months to seriously think about the relationship and where you want it to go.

 

During this time you could reflect on the problems that caused the cheating or any other issues you guys may have had. You had the right idea about taking it slow. But certain issues should have been addresed and resolved through talking and set boundaries of Limited contact during the break up. I know this seems like a long process. But its kind of like a broken leg. You can wrap it up, and walk around it...but its going to hurt, and its going to heal improperly. And your going to be gimped for the rest of your life. If a relationship is continued right away without issues being addressed and resolved, the trust wont be there as well as other issues...and the relationship is going to gimped

 

If a broken leg is prpoperly set and has a cast....heals, and has the cast taken off, followed by some rehilbilitation. The leg will be good, maybe even stronger. Same with a relationship. Problems need to be worked out and addressed. Each person needs to do some self reflection during the healing process. If the love is still there, then efforts to build trust can be started. This way the relationship has been tried and tested. A better recovery that a quick fix. Because trust me....the feelings you have wont go away. You wont trust her, and it will show in your attitude and actions. She will be angry for you not letting it go. It will be a cycle of anger and mistrust as well as saddness. Not a healthy situation for either of you.

Just my 2 cents, best of luck yo you bro.

[juegosdeseduccion]

I see exactly what you mean, we have been together only for a week, we still have not said we are boyfriend and girlfriend, I am planning to do something romantic to ask her back out, should address all this things, kinda like...put the cast on lol that day? she is very loving, and I know that we are good and happy together, I just wanted to still have good foundations.