sarahkim Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 i was with someone else when Q started gettin close to me. my relationship with my ex ws ending when he came along n he was everything i wanted in a guy. everything went rily fast,we got together in a week. i started feelin dat it ws all too fast n i told him i needed time to think abt us. he said ok,n he stopped all contact with me for 2 weeks when he went back to his hometown for his holidays. he didn't giv me his contact number so i had no idea wat he ws up to at home. after 2 weeks he came back n said he rily missed me n stil wanted me.i told him i felt the same n we got together. at the same time he started doing clinical rotations in pediatrics n was extremely busy. A week later he broke up with me saying that he didn't have time for me,he needed to concentrate on his work n he didn't wan2 screw up his final year. needless to say i was really hurt,but i took it as him jz bein too cowardly to owe up to the fact that he ws attracted to me physically n den lost interest once he got me. i worked hard at gettin over him,being busy with my own studies n soon i was feeling better. n after 2 weeks,he asked me out for dinner n asks me if im over him.he said he regretted making such a hasty decision and he's asking for another chance to 'make things right'. he said missed my companionship and also the sex (he didn't say it but he's a guy,wat else do they think abt when they say i mis ur companionship??) n so now im stuck. i told him to give me a week as i'm extremely busy now n i need sum time to think abt it. wat do i do?? our chemistry is crazy n i rily want him back;but at the same time if he can leave me in a week,he can do it again. all my frens tel me to jz let it go,i'm gona get hurt again,he's not worth it. if i reject him now,at least i can keep my dignity n not risk gettin dumped TWICE... bt my heart n my head can't seem to agree. im crazy abt this guy bt is it worth the risk of gettin dumped again??if i get back together with him but have no expectations of him bein ther for me will i be hurt less when he leaves again?? HELP.... i duno wat to do....
moonmoon Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 take this advice with a grain of salt because Im new here and not used to giving advice, and im also an emotional wreck be cause im on a break/breakup with NC. however, from patterns ive seen with other people that have high intensity, sexual chemistry but very flaky consistency, like the guy you are talking about, they rarely if ever work out and if they ever last for more than a month or two, you are looking at the same emotional roller coaster with more invested in it and therefore much more intensity of the highs and lows. Id say theres little hope with someone who has started out like that. hes in a profession where hes gonna be busy plenty of the time and do you want to be with someone whose not going to be there for you down the road. but you do have very little to base your opinion off of so far and you dont want to be left wondering. maybe if you do something again invest a little more time in getting to know him and dont have sex every time you get together
Author sarahkim Posted November 24, 2008 Author Posted November 24, 2008 thks alot moonmoon, ur advice rily helped put things in perspective. think maybe we started the wrong way,with the chemistry as our focus. gues dat jz doesn't sustain any relationship. so do u tink i shud hold back n try a start fr a diffrnt pt lk wat u said gettin2noe each othr more 1st or shud i jz NC n move on? i keep feeling the need to justify to myself dat i'm worth more than a week to someone.... (bt then again is a month any better than a week?) or maybe i'm jz gettin played by him..? any of u guys out ther who cn recognize if im jz gettin played??pls b brutally honest w me...thks...!
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