alwayssme Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 They say think of their bad things to forget them but I can't. I know I lost a good thing, a good relationship and a great guy. Why? I don't know. I have no idea where I went wrong. If I was the problem then I know I would work on whatever to make it right, but I guess I'm not. It was simply his choice and decision. He probably does think of the bad things I did if I cross his mind, but even if I do I don't hate him. I know overall he was good to me and everybody knows it. I just wish he would miss me and want to come back!!!!!!!!! Ughhhhhhhhh...But he's not going to and I know he has moved on. He hasn't called me or even texted me since 2 weeks ago that we spoke I guess I don't even want to hate him...I don't want him to do anything wrong to me because it would hurt me even more.
EmperorR Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 The anger will come, my ex cheated on me and I didn't feel the anger until months after
Author alwayssme Posted November 23, 2008 Author Posted November 23, 2008 but he didnt cheat on me (that i know of at least)...i don't even wanna know if he's with anyone right now
EmperorR Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 but he didnt cheat on me (that i know of at least)...i don't even wanna know if he's with anyone right now Yeah I know, I meant that I was even cheated on but it's like I was in shock and denial for awhile, then the anger just came one day, don't worry it'll come:)
Author alwayssme Posted November 23, 2008 Author Posted November 23, 2008 Aww, I'm sorry! I have read your other posts and I read your ex cheated on you. What happened afterwards? I don't know your full story.
TeaAbraham Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 lol emperor. I didn't hate my ex either when I found out she was cheating on me. Actually, at first I hated her, but then I gave it up and was just trying to crawl back into her arms for a month. For me I didnt feel that anger because I felt so guilty about the situation. I couldn't feel angry at her if I felt I was the cause of all of our problems. So once I realized what my problems were and what I had done wrong, and knew that I am a better man in every way now, I was able to release that guilt. So I was able to be angry at her and the fact that you know what, I had those problems, I admit. I was guilty in part. But now I could never do that to a woman ever again. Now I know my faults and I know not to make those mistakes, and I have grown. You are the one who has not grown. I was willing to see my faults and work through them for you, but you were not willing to do the same. For that I am angry at you, and now I can see past my own faults, and see all the things she has done wrong. Maybe it is better to not feel angry, I don't know. But I think it is healthy in getting over things, because I could never get over things if all I felt was guilt. -Edit You said this in another thread: I look back at my mistakes and cry because "what if i had done things different". That's exactly it! I think you have to get past that and say, hey, it wasn't just me, it was you too. And I have changed and I would be that better person who would not make those same mistakes again. But you made mistakes too, and you would not do anything different now than you did then. You are not willing to grow, and for that I am angry! Not bad anger, just healthy anger. So you can stop beating yourself up about this.
EmperorR Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 Aww, I'm sorry! I have read your other posts and I read your ex cheated on you. What happened afterwards? I don't know your full story. I asked her if she wants to work on us we can go to counseling etc., then she said she needed time, strung me along for a few weeks how seh wanted to be alone and be friends, then first day back at school she had butterflies for a new guy, lied to me that they weren't dating and just friends, mutual friends told me different, been NC ever since.
EmperorR Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 lol emperor. I didn't hate my ex either when I found out she was cheating on me. Actually, at first I hated her, but then I gave it up and was just trying to crawl back into her arms for a month. For me I didnt feel that anger because I felt so guilty about the situation. I couldn't feel angry at her if I felt I was the cause of all of our problems. So once I realized what my problems were and what I had done wrong, and knew that I am a better man in every way now, I was able to release that guilt. So I was able to be angry at her and the fact that you know what, I had those problems, I admit. I was guilty in part. But now I could never do that to a woman ever again. Now I know my faults and I know not to make those mistakes, and I have grown. You are the one who has not grown. I was willing to see my faults and work through them for you, but you were not willing to do the same. For that I am angry at you, and now I can see past my own faults, and see all the things she has done wrong. Maybe it is better to not feel angry, I don't know. But I think it is healthy in getting over things, because I could never get over things if all I felt was guilt. -Edit You said this in another thread: That's exactly it! I think you have to get past that and say, hey, it wasn't just me, it was you too. And I have changed and I would be that better person who would not make those same mistakes again. But you made mistakes too, and you would not do anything different now than you did then. You are not willing to grow, and for that I am angry! Not bad anger, just healthy anger. So you can stop beating yourself up about this. Yup I begged, she blamed me for cheating, but then I realized later on it's just cheater's guilt. No matter what we did cheating is not acceptable they could have easily broken up with us, instead they were greedy with no morals. My ex actually told me she cheated on me because I didn't give her enough attention, then a day later she said she cheated on me because I gave her to much attention Even after my ex cheated etc. I didn't call her a slut, any bad names etc., because like a idiot I was scared of pushing her further away, sometimes I feel like writing a letter and sending it to get all the anger out, but she doesn't deserve to hear another word from me again
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