My ex's faults

[MWH]

Sorry y'all but I am the uber-doormat. See? It says "Welcome" right here on my forehead...

 

My ex is impossible to please and everything I have ever done was never good enough. You know the story...

 

I've gone 100% n/c since she dumped me the last time and it has done wonders for me. I'm by no mean s outta the woods yet and I have a long ways to go but I gotta tell ya- it feels good to have taken back control of ME! I haven't been put-down, mocked, or made to feel inadequate since I removed that mailignant vampire from my life. I'm starting to realize that I'm not nearly as messed-up as she so often suggested.

 

I stil have a lot of ups and downs and in the end I feel sorry for her because she is undoubtedly disordered but I know in my heart I stood by her as long as any man possibly could and she ulltimately has to pay whatever price in her own time. I don't think it does me much good at this point to focus on her faults as I've had more then my fill of that sort of thinking. While it certainly feels good to vent and purge it leaves me feeling bad to rip on her for the sake of ripping on her. That's really not who I am.

 

I have far more to gain by looking inward even though it is often humiliating or painful to do so. I've had more than my fair share of humiliation and indignity but when take an honest look at myself I think there is a big payoff a little later.

 

Former doormats of the word unite!

 

 

Peace,

 

MWH

[OCCDAVE]

I think its cool we could all joke about our doormats days lol sigh.I think if nothing else by us going nc for such a long time now it helps us take back some pride.I have gone a full month and have not seeing her or making any contact.The old me who was a doormat would never do that id continue to beg,cry and plead for her to take me back.I got a long road ahead of me but i see the nc so far as a bit of a victory meh.

[EmperorR]

My ex was upset at me and almost dumped me when I was in my sisters wedding because I had to walk down the aisle with another a girl

 

yep she was that jealous

2 weeks later she cheated on me

 

 

I went away to New york for 4 days, my ex called me and was crying and said if I go away again she will dump me because she can't trust me:rolleyes:

 

But she went away for two weeks and I was ok with it, yep and thats when she cheated on me

 

I also had to give up all my female friends even people I knew since childhood yep I was a idiot

 

My ex moved here from europe and she didnt even tell her bf in europe that she was moving permanetly, he sent her vicious emails but they were in a different language, and she would tell me how he used her just for money n sex.

 

Now looking back, he probably didn't that's just the type of person my ex is a coldhearted person, I bet she is telling her new guy that i'm probably the one who cheated on and dumped her knowing the type of scum she is.

[EmperorR]

I think its cool we could all joke about our doormats days lol sigh.I think if nothing else by us going nc for such a long time now it helps us take back some pride.I have gone a full month and have not seeing her or making any contact.The old me who was a doormat would never do that id continue to beg,cry and plead for her to take me back.I got a long road ahead of me but i see the nc so far as a bit of a victory meh.

 

im almost 100 days NC, no turning back for me, even though somedays i want to just say hey or whateevr, I will not. My ex even mocked me when i went NC telling me that I can't do it, probably because I broke NC like 5 times because I was weak

[alwayssme]

adds on

 

the one time I cried in 3 years you hanged up on me you were to busy to talk about us.

 

You cried hundreds of times I was always there telling you it was ok, staying up till 3am sometimes listening to your pathetic probelms telling you it was ok you psycho b*tch and the one time I cried you couldnt take 5 minutes to talk to me, you ungrateful scum

 

 

haha..Emperor You crack me up everytime. For some reason I feel like her new relationship will fail and she will come back to you crying and even if she doesnt, I'm a woman, we're weird...believe me she WILL remember you and how good you treated her...she will miss you...i never exactly cheated but i had a guy who treated me like a princess once and well I hurt him (unintentionally and i actually cried and truly apologized, i didnt mistreat him) but regardless i hurt him...when i was happy i didnt think of him but when my world crushed and i was all alone...i remembered him and felt so bad for hurting him...maybe its me and im just a caring person but i think most of us are like that i think....

[FeedingOnFever]

This thread is kind of older in the grand spectrum, but I think I need to do this tonight.

 

- Hurting me was never, never enough to stop him from doing anything. It wasn't even enough to delay him in doing anything.

 

- I pulled his ass through high school and most of college, and while he was grateful, he wouldn't even write me one stupid letter, poem or song when he was writing 24 other songs for his band. I asked him if he simply didn't want to write me a song he could say so, but he said he would love to and he'd get right on it. In 2 and a half years, no song.

 

- Obviously, he was engaging in an emotional affair while still with me. Then he hooked up with that chick mere days after leaving me. Hah, and he said he "cared for me and would never hurt me." Right.

 

- He was so inconsiderate to EVERYONE. His precious "impulsiveness" was so important to him that he didn't care who he hurt, so long as he got to keep living his life like some stupid Hollywood movie.

 

- He interrupted everyone ALL THE TIME. He pissed the royal crap out of a lot of our friends, and every time I'd try to suggest that he stop interrupting or change the subject because people were getting pissed at him, he'd get defensive as hell.

 

- He fully admitted to being a compulsive liar and made no real effort to figure out why he lied or to fix it.

 

- Just the fact that he is SO completely incapable of analyzing his emotions that the idea that he could be GAY entered his mind days before he SLEPT WITH ANOTHER GIRL. How totally out of touch with your inner self can you be?!

 

- He claimed to be Neo-Pagan like me, but he only busted out the religion to get attention and give people crappy tarot readings. I actually enjoy my religion, and the fact that he used it only for flaunting it annoyed the crap out of me.

 

- He had no problem walking out on me with no forgiveness for any of my faults or any willingness to work on our relationship, but he can't even stand up to his mother. He has such parental issues it's not even funny, and he's the one who almost succeeded in making me feel like MY issues were the only ones in the relationship!

 

- If he had really cared for me, he would have shown me respect and honesty, even if he worried that it would make me upset. That's what you do for people you love: you tell it to them straight, like I did for him. He could not ever do that for anyone, and I'm no exception.

 

- I stood up for him to his mom on countless occasions, always trying to be diplomatic, polite and respectful to her, and he thanked me, saying that it touched him to his core how I would fight for him, and that no one had ever cared for him so much. Then he turns around and yells at my mother, who took him into our house and was never anything but kind to him over TRASH THAT HE LEFT IN THE CAR. He demeaned and belittled my mother because she asked him to pick up trash in the car.

 

- He. Is. An. Absolute. Coward. 'Nuff said.

 

- Did I mention he's a liar? It's gotten worse in the past few months.

 

- He talked crap about me behind my back. My own boyfriend, who I loved with all my heart. The one I always told "I wish my so-called friends would just say things to my face, you know?" He even helped me get the courage up to cut out people from my life who talked **** about me. Then what does he do? He turns around and talks **** about me.

 

- 99% of the people I know know more about why he broke up with me than I do.

 

- He can't spell, punctuate, or generally write to save his life. A small thing, but I'm an English major, and that was a definite clash. I loved him like mad in spite of it, but it definitely wasn't a bonus point.

 

- LAZY AS HELL. Another thing he fully admitted but did nothing to stop. Every ****ing Sunday night I'd be up til 4 freaking a.m. helping him finish a stupid art project, pushing him to keep going while he stared into space and spouted depression about his lack of motivation. I listened to that crap, snapped him out of it, and helped him finish his homework. Yet another semester of college that he passed because I believed in him and told him to keep on trying.

 

- Addicted to video games. In the 4 days after he broke up with me, he'd levelled his World of Warcraft character from 51 to 64.

 

- He only tried to fix our relationship when I was on the verge of tears, incredibly frustrated or once, halfway out the door. He'd try for a few days and go right back to being complacent. Occasionally he'd do really sweet things, but only if they were totally convenient or he was otherwise bored. I put some solid effort into my relationship with him, even when it WASN'T convenient. I don't think he'd have done that for me, really.

 

- He never stood up for me. Maybe once or twice in the beginning, but he let it all slide after that. I secretly think he liked hearing bad things said about me, because he was too scared to talk to me myself about problems. It was like getting his ego stroked, to hear how awful I was.

 

- Every time a major event came up for us, he'd cram last minute to do something half-assed. He never really truly came through for me and did something really special. And he spent the whole night moaning about how it wasn't perfect and he had failed so I end up comforting him the whole ****ing night when I'm supposed to be trying to have a good time! He could have saved up some money for my birthday gifts, or a nice dinner out, but he never did and then he kicked himself for it all dramatically and like a fool I fell for it and comforted him every time, saying I was sure he had tried and it was no big deal. Yeah right he tried.

 

- A bigger procrastinator than me. WHOA now that is hard to do.

 

- He should have just been a man and told me the truth. Even if he still wanted to leave me, he should have been brave enough to talk to me.

[TG84]

My ex is:

 

* a COWARD for refusing to break things off in person, instead she is a coward after I gave her my life, everything for 3 years

 

* a STUBBORN person that would rather do something against her own interests than change her mind and do the right thing

 

* a HEARTLESS person -- from the time I've dated her, i know at least three people she has hurt by just abruptly ending contact or friendship with them. One ended up going on meds and havinga mental breakdown. She desires either friendship with dominant people that eventually run all over her and then move on, or she becomes friends with normal people and disposes them like a piece of trash

 

* a SELFISH person -- when she broke things off, I told her she owed me more than a phone call breakup, and she replied "I can't think of anyone else but myself right now" after she had been so controlling in our relationship these past years. If she doesn't "need" me, then she disposes of me, just like she has with other people

 

And I still love her and can't get over her...

[Ash.]

1. We used to physically fight. You always hit me back. You had gotten so used to this that the times you injured me, I didn`t even get an apology out of you.

2. You tried to get my old best friend to have sex with you. You described an explicit "dream" you had about taking her virginity, but you didn`t stop there. This happened when I was so sad I had no one to spend Thanksgiving with. You said I took it out on you and that you were lonely.

3. You let your best friend(s) insult me time and time again. You never stood up for me if it meant your relationship with one of them would be in jeopardy. Bros before hos, right?

4. You emotionally involved yourself with the girl you are with now before we were broken up. I can hate her till` I`m blue in the face. But had you really cared you would have shot her down from the get go.

5. After we broke up, we still had sex. On one occasion I asked you why you were having sex with me if you no longer loved me, in which you replied, "Because you`re hot."

6. You constantly reminded me I had no friends, no family, that I was crazy.

7. You did everything your best friend did. If he liked something so did you, once he didn`t you didn`t either. Once you found out he was trying to get into a certain school, you dropped any plans you had so you could go too.

8. You promised. I was always willing to try. You swore we were something different, and I believed you. I trusted you, and you left me with my heart in my hands.

9. I left the only security I had so that I could be with you. I got a job so I could rent a room in a house nearby. I had no money and no where to go. You never appreciated how much personal sacrifice I went through just to be with you.

10. You didn`t take the cat when I left. I left you a note telling you how much he meant to me. You know how much he did. And you didn`t.

11. You were so gross sometimes. Disgusting. I hate the way you wouldn`t shower until your hair was a different shade, I hate the way you farted all the time, I hate how you never cleaned a damn thing.

12. You are smart. You are talented. You come from a wealthy family. Seriously. You`ve passed the tests and you have the proof. You have the world at your feet. Instead of appreciating these things, you don`t even acknowledge them.

13. You lied. Little things, big things, stupid things, you lied.

14. There are movies, music, and many other things I can no longer enjoy because we saw them together. I can`t listen to the songs you dedicated to me without crying.

15. You see the way your dad treats your mom. You think he`s an a*shole. You don`t see you are well on your way to becoming him.

16. You were such a flirt.

17. You used to hate waking up. I have never seen anyone who was that extremely difficult. You acted like a child with a wet diaper.

18. Your constant need to look at porn. I know it`s a guy thing, but come on.

19. I hate how I had the control in the beginning. When it reversed I was ok for a while. When you realized I would do anything for you, your ego got huge, and you abused my love for you.

20. Despite all these things, you are still in my heart. I saw and felt things I never knew exsisted. You were my life. I hope in time I can look back and smile on the good. But for a good while, I will loathe you for it. You hurt me.