TabulaRasa Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 Just a vent. I'm currently annoyed/disillusioned with my work acquaintances (who I was, until recently, beginning to allow myself to consider "work friends," but now I've scaled it back to "acquaintances," or maybe just "people I work with). I don't know. I'm more than 30 years old. I'm too old for cliques and sorority mentality and various other immaturity. I'm a genuine, friendly person who hasn't got a lot of patience for drama and bull****. I started my job in May. It's in a school setting, and I know from previous experience in that setting that it's often prone to cattiness and cliquishness, unfortunately. Having been burned in that sort of atmosphere in the past, I didn't have any major high hopes for forming real at-work friendships, and was pretty leery and cautious in my interactions. Over the past few months, I noticed that there were quite a few people who seemed genuinely friendly, so I let my guard down a bit and cautiously let them in...making a point to be social during our before/after school hours, attending the occasionally held happy hours, meeting people's spouses and SOs, even getting invited to a coworker's bachelorette and wedding. However, our workplace is expanding, and as it gets bigger and bigger, cliques are forming, and I have no patience for them. I see people I thought better of starting to team up, and acting in snotty, exclusive ways. I can't abide that, and I certainly can't respect the people who are doing it, so I've more or less withdrawn from people I was starting to consider friends, because I can't be a part of that kind of crap and am disappointed in these people for playing along. I'm sure it's been noticed that I'm no longer as friendly to these people, so things are a bit strained now. But I feel really strongly about this. Why can't people just live like adults, and cool it with the "We're getting together but so and so's not invited" bull****?
Trialbyfire Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 In a work environment, do step away from the drama. You can be civil and friendly but don't need to hang around with anyone who doesn't meet your requirements for friendship. The less you show yourself to be part of the office gossip network and show focus and interest in your job, the more upwardly mobile you'll be considered. As for clique mentality, like draws like. It's human nature.
Author TabulaRasa Posted November 23, 2008 Author Posted November 23, 2008 In a work environment, do step away from the drama. You can be civil and friendly but don't need to hang around with anyone who doesn't meet your requirements for friendship. This is why I'm no longer socializing with anybody...I have to step away from crap like that. I don't even have any real interest in being friendly, now that true colors have been shown a bit. Civil/neutral, sure, but I don't feel compelled to be really particularly warm or friendly toward people who I don't see much reason to respect. The less you show yourself to be part of the office gossip network and show focus and interest in your job, the more upwardly mobile you'll be considered.This is always the best bet for me. I'm very personally invested in the work I do and passionate about it; I don't need a social group or its drama to draw the focus off that. Having friends at work is a nice perk, but optional...I'm really there because I'm dedicated to and love my job, bottom line. As for clique mentality, like draws like. It's human nature.Then am I not human? It's always been such a turnoff. I've never found anything appealing or comfortable in cutting certain people out of the loop. It kind of makes me sick. I can understand not being close friends with everyone, but that's not the same as active snubbing. Like draws like - although people without a lot of common ground can also appreciate one another, many of my friends are quite different than I am on many levels, though our basic values and priorities are in line with one another - I get that. But even if you're not BFFs with somebody, there's no reason to snub.
Idiosyncratic Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 My brother (26 years old) said that as you get older, into adulthood, these "cliques" get more and more selective. There is more back stabbing, gossipping, etc. as you progress in age.
Trialbyfire Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 Then am I not human? It's always been such a turnoff. I've never found anything appealing or comfortable in cutting certain people out of the loop. It kind of makes me sick. I can understand not being close friends with everyone, but that's not the same as active snubbing. Like draws like - although people without a lot of common ground can also appreciate one another, many of my friends are quite different than I am on many levels, though our basic values and priorities are in line with one another - I get that. But even if you're not BFFs with somebody, there's no reason to snub. I'd rather ignore someone I don't like, rather then get involved with any drama. It's far easier than a snit fest, although once in awhile, I will turn on someone, if they piss me off at the wrong time. In a work environment, I tend to be civil, when needed. Beyond that, I ignore and avoid. Work drama is so unnecessary.
lazlow99 Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 Well my old course at University (I changed after a couple of months) was really, really cliquish. Me and a couple of other people decided it was stupid and just hung around with each other, making us complete outcasts in the class, even though we were probably the most mature, 'life experienced' people there. It was really depressing to watch 20 year olds act like little kids. It got to the point that if you were walking through campus, and you saw a classmate whose little group you weren't in, you'd say hello and they'd pretend they hadn't seen you or just blank you. It was like, damn whats wrong with being civil? The course I'm on now is a lot more chilled out and the people on it are actually normal. I've never understood people who feel like they have to prove themselves all the time. Just chill out.
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