chris250 Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 Normally I would be hardcore advocate against begging and pleading with an ex to take you back. But I think there are exceptions to every rule. For example if a girl dumped me because I didn't pay attention to her needs or I didn't do a good job of making her feel loved or if she wanted a commitment from me and I wasn't giving it. I think NC is good for healing but the problem is that NC in itself does not destroy hopes of reconciliation. I think that if hope is keeping you from moving on and dating others then you need to do what is necessary to destroy that hope so you can move on once and for all. In which case I do recommend begging and pleading as a last ditch effort when it becomes painfully obvious that you have no chance. Why? because if you beg and plead then either you'll get your ex back or she will say no and you will have all the necessary closure you need to move once & for all. NC does not always work to kill off that hope and sometimes you have to take several steps back temporarily in order to move forward permanently.
EmperorR Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 I begged and pleaded pushed her farther away:laugh:
TeaAbraham Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 Ditto. Further away. Same situation you mention too. I didn't do a good job of making her feel loved (although of course there was much more stuff involved). Begged, pleaded, love letters. She just said she had fallen out of love with me because of what I did, that's all. I think that if she wasn't seeing mr buttercups though, my begging and pleading would have worked. Actually, I am 100% positive. And that's why I hate him so much. But maybe I wouldn't have been ready to be that man for her if all of this sh*t didn't happen. Oh well. Anyway, as it stands, begging and pleading just made it easier for her to go with mr buttercups because she knew I was here to be her nice, kind, lovable safety net incase d*ck wad didn't turn out to be the man in shining armor she thought he was. I think a lot of people beg and plead before they go NC anyway. Yeah, if you were the guilty party then begging would probably be your only option there. But if they are the guilty party, there isn't really a point.
simon sez Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 Make sure you don't go into relationship counseling. It doesn't look like one of your strong points.
Author chris250 Posted November 24, 2008 Author Posted November 24, 2008 But it's like I said I only recommend begging and pleading when it looks like you have nothing to lose by doing so. For example let's say you've been doing NC for 1 year and you still have hopes of reconciling with your ex then that's a serious problem. You can't go on the rest of your life taking 1 step forward and 3 steps back. If hope of a reconciliation is what is holding you back from dating others then you need to do what is necessary to destroy that hope. Take several steps back temporarily in order to move 10,000 steps forward. Calling up your ex and begging for another chance will likely work to set up all the closure in your mind that is necessary to move on once & for all. NC does nothing at all to kill that glimmer of hope. It just leaves you wondering if there is a chance in the future. Don't worry about whether or not your ex will think of you as weak and pathetic for begging. This is not about them anymore. It's about you. Forget about pride. Doing what is necessary to destroy the hope that's holding you back from dating others is more important than your ex thinking of you as weak and pathetic for begging. After making this last ditch effort to reconcile you'll either get back with your ex or you'll have the closure necessary to move on once and for all.
Dmoney28 Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 Well.....begging and pleading dosent always kills the chance...totally. It will set you back weeks sometimes. I begged and pleaded, she said NO, and i pushed her way.....for 6 days at least. 6 days NC and she txt me 12:00am. And its been LC almost everyday since for the past 3 months.
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