get a girl without pursuing?

[chris250]

Is it really possible for me to get a date without pursuing a woman at all? I'm trying a newer approach and that is to not ask a woman out at all. I'm going to wait for her to come.

 

I figure I can't go wrong with this approach since I'm not hurting any women by not pursuing.

[alphamale]

Is it really possible for me to get a date without pursuing a woman at all?

no...no its not

[kashmir]

Is it really possible for me to get a date without pursuing a woman at all? I'm trying a newer approach and that is to not ask a woman out at all. I'm going to wait for her to come.

 

I figure I can't go wrong with this approach since I'm not hurting any women by not pursuing.

 

How would you hurt them by pursuing?

[chris250]

Well I risk hurting them by pursuing because they may already be taken. I just have to assume that all the pretty girls I come in contact with are taken.

 

When I see a pretty woman then I think to myself "she has to be taken. There's no reason for her not to be."

 

So more and more I just play it safe. When I go out to the bars I just assume all the attractive girls are taken and don't bother approaching them.

[Yamaha]

Men do the asking and women do the choosing. If you don't ask most women will not do your job and be the man. It is the way of things.....

[kashmir]

Well I risk hurting them by pursuing because they may already be taken. I just have to assume that all the pretty girls I come in contact with are taken.

 

When I see a pretty woman then I think to myself "she has to be taken. There's no reason for her not to be."

 

So more and more I just play it safe. When I go out to the bars I just assume all the attractive girls are taken and don't bother approaching them.

 

Most of them are indeed taken, but not all of them.

 

And how will hitting on a girl with a boyfriend hurt her? If anything, she should be flattered.

[fral945]

If you get a girl without pursuing please share your approach with us.

[Trialbyfire]

Yes, I think you should just stand in a corner while at a bar and see how that works for you. Who knows, maybe some gorgeous girl will see you and want to sweep you off your feet. Good luck!

[MN randomguy]

 

So more and more I just play it safe. When I go out to the bars I just assume all the attractive girls are taken and don't bother approaching them.

 

Sounds to me that you're trying to not get hurt yourself. Its an ego boost to get hit on to most girls. As long as you're not creepy or stalkerish about it, they don't mind.

 

You need to learn not to take rejection personally. If you're in the bar go up and try to start a conversation with a girl if you're interested in her, worst case scenario she'll blow you off. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

 

There are girls who will date you without you pursuing them though. They're called desperate girls.

[monkey00]

Well I risk hurting them by pursuing because they may already be taken. I just have to assume that all the pretty girls I come in contact with are taken.

 

When I see a pretty woman then I think to myself "she has to be taken. There's no reason for her not to be."

 

So more and more I just play it safe. When I go out to the bars I just assume all the attractive girls are taken and don't bother approaching them.

 

With that kind of mindset, it explains why all the hot girls are holding hands with average joes and ugly guys.

 

Anyway..your new approach has pretty much been tried by 90% of guys on this planet, doesn't exactly work out buddy.

[Isolde]

You should take advantage of being a guy.

 

You: Can go to a bar and ask out every single girl there. You own the world.

 

Girls like me: have to sit on our butts and wait for someone to approach us, unless we're extremely gutsy and bold, in which case things usually don't work anyhow.

 

I'm not complaining, I'm saying this is how it is.

[alphamale]

You: Can go to a bar and ask out every single girl there. You own the world. .

no, a smart man can ask out every girl who gives him the green light and invites him to approach

 

usually these are the good looking men who look confident and successful

[SushiX]

I know plenty of guys who tried this approach. They are the shy good looking ones that stand around and look cool in the club and hope a girl would just come up and start a conversation with them. While they're standing around looking cool, I'm up in these girls faces trying to get a dance. Guess who goes home with them or at least get their numbers?

[movingonandon]

How old are you? I ask because this is an ok approach depending on context, but it won't work too well if you're under 30. I and my friends were quite surprised once girls started approaching us in bars approximately at the time we turned 30, and this almost never happened before. (age is just a proxy, all that happened at the time we were finally in good jobs, no more baby/boyish looks, good income etc.; apparently all these things subtly affect how you carry yourself).

[chris250]

Men do the asking and women do the choosing. If you don't ask most women will not do your job and be the man. It is the way of things.....

 

 

It's the way things are only because most men are not afraid to approach. If all men stopped approaching women then it would only be a matter of time before women would break the ice and approach.

 

I look at it this way. I have 0% chance of turning a woman off if I never approach and just mind my own business at the bar. She can't read my mind. She can't tell that I have interest in her. I don't want her to know that I like her.

 

I make every effort to look good before I go out in public and just wait for things to happen.

 

I guess it's time for me to accept that I have no choice but to be single.

[chris250]

How old are you? I ask because this is an ok approach depending on context, but it won't work too well if you're under 30. I and my friends were quite surprised once girls started approaching us in bars approximately at the time we turned 30, and this almost never happened before. (age is just a proxy, all that happened at the time we were finally in good jobs, no more baby/boyish looks, good income etc.; apparently all these things subtly affect how you carry yourself).

 

I am 28 years old. I'm torn apart inside. Part of me is tired of being single and then part of me is afraid to approach women so I just don't do it. I feel like I have no choice but to be single.

[Ruby Slippers]

Women do not have to approach men. I never have and never will. If you don't do it, there's a line of men who will.

[Isolde]

It's the way things are only because most men are not afraid to approach. If all men stopped approaching women then it would only be a matter of time before women would break the ice and approach.

 

I look at it this way. I have 0% chance of turning a woman off if I never approach and just mind my own business at the bar. She can't read my mind. She can't tell that I have interest in her. I don't want her to know that I like her.

 

I make every effort to look good before I go out in public and just wait for things to happen.

 

I guess it's time for me to accept that I have no choice but to be single.

 

If it helps at all, I'm a 22-year-old girl, and I feel the same way. I don't want to be rejected anymore.

[kashmir]

It's the way things are only because most men are not afraid to approach. If all men stopped approaching women then it would only be a matter of time before women would break the ice and approach.

 

I look at it this way. I have 0% chance of turning a woman off if I never approach and just mind my own business at the bar. She can't read my mind. She can't tell that I have interest in her. I don't want her to know that I like her.

 

I make every effort to look good before I go out in public and just wait for things to happen.

 

I guess it's time for me to accept that I have no choice but to be single.

 

It ain't gonna happen though. Yeah, it's hard to approach a girl, especially when most of them treat you like crap when you simply try to talk to them, but there's no other way around it. If you want the best women have to offer, you have to face the worst they have to offer first.

[alphamale]

Yeah, it's hard to approach a girl, especially when most of them treat you like crap when you simply try to talk to them, but there's no other way around it.

if she's offered a non-verbal invitation for you to come hither then your hit rate will be almost 100% unless when you open your mouth you come off as a total buffoon

 

why do most men not understand this? approaching women at random is like looking for competence in the bush administration. wait until they give you the eye and smile or show some other form of interest....then mosey on over.

 

trust me on this....a woman who is available and interested in a particular man will make it easy for him to talk to her.

[zhsoj]

Yeah I've never had a woman approach me out of the blue. Not since middle school at least...

 

The last time I managed to get up the "nerve" to approach one (actually a pair) in a bar I was pretty much fall-down drunk. Even then I had to send a woman friend first for introductions & be pushed in their direction (amazing I didn't fall over)... Only to find out both were lesbians and were hitting on the married friend I had sent over. Ah yes, classic... Better yet one of them whispered "follow us" in my ear and both then quickly left the bar... I was too drunk to even figure out which way they had gone, much less follow... I can only imagine what it must have looked like to everyone else as they promptly ran away from me.

 

If it helps at all, I'm a 22-year-old girl, and I feel the same way. I don't want to be rejected anymore.

 

Really? If you aren't approached you feel rejected? Just reading the above should give you an idea of how damn incapable some of us are...

[kashmir]

if she's offered a non-verbal invitation for you to come hither then your hit rate will be almost 100% unless when you open your mouth you come off as a total buffoon

 

why do most men not understand this? approaching women at random is like looking for competence in the bush administration. wait until they give you the eye and smile or show some other form of interest....then mosey on over.

 

trust me on this....a woman who is available and interested in a particular man will make it easy for him to talk to her.

 

ALMOST 100%. Wow, I must have had the very unfortunate luck of approaching that <1% of women who give inviting looks and then act like total bitches right from the start. One time I was at a party and I saw this girl on the other side of the room looking right into my eyes and giving me a big smile. It happened several times and there was no doubt it was directed at me. I smiled back, finished up my conversation with some dude, moved through the crowd, and went up to her and greeted her. This was her response:

 

"Um, hi? Do you want something?"

 

Me: "Do I want something? Just a few minutes of your time would be cool."

 

Her: "Yeahhhh...no..." *turns around and walks away*

[alphamale]

it should have gone like this:

 

Her: "Um, hi? Do you want something?"

 

Me: "Do I want something? Just your pretty smile..."

 

Her: "*giggles*...so whats your name?"

[kashmir]

it should have gone like this:

 

Yeah...same thing would have happened except I would've gotten a nice big slap.

[zhsoj]

Yeah...same thing would have happened except I would've gotten a nice big slap.

 

On the plus side that would have made for a much better story