I Broke No contact after 3 years

[Peter_pan]

It's like a complete switch and I wish 1000 times, I would have been this way when I was with him.

 

i feel that way to. its like wat they did was a wake up call like no other. only i didnt get the second chance after feeling this was

[Rafa]

she

says I think too highly of her. What does that mean ?

 

if she's not with the guy who clearly loves her more,

Then why is she with him?

 

Dude I'm sorry you're going through this.

 

Here are some possible reasons. I'm not saying this is you, but these are common mistakes a guy can make:

 

Girls like a challenge (same as us guys). When you put a girl on a pedestal then YOU hand her YOUR power on a silver platter. At that point she often stops respecting you as an equal.

 

She perhaps doesn’t feel like she can be herself if a guy has these unrealistic expectations of her. She feels this pressure to always be at her best. She doesn’t feel that she can be real .. because she knows she's not perfect.

 

Maybe she feels alienated. Its like having a raving fan. They are so INTO you that you just can’t sit down and have a normal and decent conversation with them. You can’t relate to them. Its like you are on two different planes.

 

The thing I like to remember is: I am equal to any girl I meet.

They think: If you look up to me then I'll look down on you.

 

Just some ideas.

[Trialbyfire]

((hugs))

 

No advice beyond, take care of yourself. You're such a sweetheart and some lucky girl will snap you up...if you let her.

[dprelz]

"Love and guilt exist in the same dimension

guilt that will stay with me until the end of time

 

 

please forgive my selfishness

please forgive me for not saying anthing, not doing anything

 

but how could i

 

i had imagined it differently

but all i can do is keeping my silence

 

 

please be good...

"

 

Women, what do you think this means?

[Angel1111]

"Love and guilt exist in the same dimension

guilt that will stay with me until the end of time

 

 

please forgive my selfishness

please forgive me for not saying anthing, not doing anything

 

but how could i

 

i had imagined it differently

but all i can do is keeping my silence

 

 

please be good...

"

 

Women, what do you think this means?

 

I have no idea because I don't understand the context.

[Trialbyfire]

"Love and guilt exist in the same dimension

guilt that will stay with me until the end of time

 

 

please forgive my selfishness

please forgive me for not saying anthing, not doing anything

 

but how could i

 

i had imagined it differently

but all i can do is keeping my silence

 

 

please be good...

"

 

Women, what do you think this means?

If your ex said that, I would hazard the guess that she either cheated or found the new guy before your relationship ended.

[BackonTrack2]

I just wanna say thanks for

All the replies. Especially from the women.

 

I don't fail at many things. I have a

Big heart and I never give up. It

Gives me success in everything I do.

 

I ****ed this up. I know there was a

Time when she truly did love me

With all her heart. If I was the

Person I am now back then, we

Would probablly be married right

Now.

 

How can I handle that? Knowing

That it was me who ultimately

Did this?

 

How can I love another woman when

I gave everything I had to her? She

Has seen every side of me over all

These years. She watched me grow

Into a man. My face has changed.

 

How do I not feel completely rejected?

She knows me the best In the world and

She doesn't want me.

 

?

 

Dude stop it. 3 years or 36 months or 1095 days = oh my god.

I said it before and I will save it again.

I had my first real relationship at 23, it lasted about 8 months. It FAKElY lasted another 6 months (the ex was cheating) and came to a end around 1.4 years in.

 

I was destroyed, became a girly man, poured my undying love for the whore, which ofcourse only disgusted her how sad. Anyway, man I lost money, lost business, lost almost everything. Lost maybe 80K, lost another 200K because I stop working, man I was really messed up. Blew maybe 4 or 5 relationships. Drunken text the girl. Drove by the girl house. I was some love sick fool who couldn't see the life he had in front of him because I was to worried about my whoring EX.

 

What I am saying is, I managed to like ruiun my life in like 6-7 months before I snapped too. I'm still in hole, I'm in debt and I have no business but I'm moving forward. I am rebuilding. I am GOING. I am running again.

 

Sure he hurt me, sure he messed up my fantasy world, sure she left me, sure she disrespected me, sure he broke me to little bitty pieces, sure he made me weak, sure she messed me up finicially (well I messed myself up, I couldn't consontrate nor did I care but whatever she gets blame for that too), who cares DUDE. She is ONE PERSON. Whats the word REDUNDANCY

 

 

Why did you even go see her? Man, I have thoughts of going to see my EX, sometime in the future but WHY??? That whore will probably call the cops on me or something worse or maybe she wants to see me but who cares, she did me WRONG, I will never in life, ever go see that particular ex, maybe when she dies, I will piss on her grave but other than that NO WAY.

 

In all honesty, though, seriously, you are focusing on the wrong things.

Seriously though, I don't think you have much relationship experience. You don't even understand the fact that the EX doesn't care for you with her statement "You think to highly of me" which translate to "Oh my god dude, u still remember, get a life" She was being nice to you.

 

But to answer your question

 

I feel so strongly about her, but I am

Just an ex bf to her.

 

Yes, you are the past. Like remember 2nd grade? It was fun, but it was the PAST. You are doing different things now than when in 2nd grade right?

Just an ex bf to her = PAST, not now, pass, long ago.

 

Do I have to crush her In my head to

Let go? Is that the only way to completely

Move on?

 

No you do not, You just simply move on. You gain new personal experiences. You interact with more people. You build intimate relationships with close friends (females) then you have sex with a few of them. 3 years? You need help, you have to move on with SOMEONE else to forget about her and change your life circumstances somehow.

 

Do I have to hate her for not loving me?

 

Why would you hate someone for NOT loving you? Thats foolish. You can hate her lets say if thought you two was in a relationship and she did something like, oh I don't cheat on you and bang your best friend, then you can hate her. If she doesn't love you then its cool, she doesn't have to love you. She can love who she wants.

 

I feel like she is the best I'll ever do.

How do I stay with another woman if

Deep down I know she is just plan b

 

You only feel like that because you haven't had a new GF yes. Everyone women is the best women until the next one comes along. Like do you remember when you had sex the first time? You thought it was amazing.. then you got better at it and better at it and each time you just got better at it? Yeah, sort of the same with women....

 

How can a futureistic women whom you never met be PLAN B? Already your setting yourself for failure with that mind set. What makes your EX so great? She did back-flips? Had some sort of special finger? What if you met oh lets say Jessica Simpson? Would she be plan B?

 

She is nothing special dude, just a women with a pussy and maybe a nice personaility. There are lots of women like that in the world, future women whom you haven't yet met.

 

I think your living on memories as opposed to the present. Is there any women around you whom you find attracted and wouldn't mind having sex with her? You don't have to want her, but can you do me a favor and try to have sex with her? I think that will pick you right up.

[dprelz]

It was posted on a blog/poem site that I only have the address to. It's under a name that only I know. She's posted maybe 5-6 pieces of brutally honest writing there. She hasnt posted or visited the site for 3 years. All the poems there are saying how perfect I am and how she loves me and misses me and she will be there when i come back.

 

 

 

I understand the whole thing except the last line.

[dprelz]

I forgot to add, She posted that a day after I went to see her.

[replicator]

Damn. I feel for you man - I know what it is like to really love someone and have it slip through your fingers.

 

I have to admit I've fantasized doing the same thing, chasing after her with all I have, but reality sets in. If she wanted to be with me, she would be here. Just as in your case. They made their decision, and they will have to live with it - just as we do.

 

Perhaps this will give you some closure - because you know it's done. You said what was in your heart as foolish as it was - it's takes a lot of courage to do that.

 

[dprelz]

Please, Can a Woman here just tell me what the last line in that poem

means?

 

"Please be good..."

[replicator]

Please, Can a Woman here just tell me what the last line in that poem

means?

 

"Please be good..."

 

I'm not a woman, but reading this thread, I think she's moved on.

 

My interpretation is that she thinks did what she had to. She feels guilty, but she wants you to move on.

 

I wouldn't read too much into those words. You can try to rationalize them to whatever you want them to be, but if she wanted to be with you - she wouldn't be with the other guy.

 

Imagine the best case scenario.. She leaves him, then comes back to you. This is unrealistic, and I think the chances of it working out would be extremely small considering all the baggage that both of you guys would be carrying. Perhaps in the future, you'll get another chance, but it's not something I would wait for. Move on with you life and stop living in the past.

[TeaAbraham]

I'm not a woman either, but I can tell you this:

 

When my ex broke up with me and still wanted to be friends with me but was trying to hide the fact that she was cheating on me with my best friend, she would always tell me: "Please be well" Whenever I would leave from seeing her, whenever she would write me a note, whenever I would get off the phone with her: "Please be well, please be well." Exactly those words. It used to be "I love you so much, I never want to live without you." It turned into "Please be well." It was a messed up way of her trying to show care for me while instantaneously messing around with her ex. Not saying that your girl is like that at all, but just to say that in my experience those words were just a curtailed form of compassion when she knew she didn't feel that genuine love for me that I was feeling for her. "Please be well." It's what she said when she knew she couldn't say "I love you" and mean it.

[selena_cat]

A wise old lady use to tell me

Never love anyone More than you Love yourself

You seem a person who has plenty of Love to give,

and you must start with yourself to know that it deserves to be reciprocated.

Somewhere out there theres agirl,even in Louisiana, (ok just want to cheer you up:)

That would more than welcome the Love you have to give,.

A lucky woman out there will thank the Stars,for the day you were born and that you came in to her life,not a woman that passed you by.

Please move on from this female who does not see the value of what you have to offer,you know in your heart you deserve the Love that you want so badly from her,

Its time to give it to someone else who would more than appreciate it. ,take your time, your devotion/love is a precious gift,dont just give it away to unworthy people.

[nittanylion]

Life is about change. Sometimes is painful. Sometimes is beautiful. But most of the time it's both.

[dprelz]

How can I ever explain how much she means to me? I have given everything I have and poured my entire soul into loving her. But it's too late.

 

How can I live with this foul stench of guilt that is seeping through my body? I feel so ashamed of the way I once treated her. There was a time when she loved me so perfectly and purely that I felt invincible.

 

How can I describe how much guilt and heartbreak I felt these past years. It festered up inside of me that the only way I could release it was too see her one last time.

 

Of course my nightmares become reality as soon as I saw his face. I wonder, did he have had to be taller and older then me, or is that god's funny little game?

 

I feel completely inferior to this guy.

 

Does he please her in ways I could only dream? Does he fullfill all of her darkest fantasies and needs? Does she sleep peacefully at night knowing he is right there beside her?

 

It's not lust that drew me towards her. She is my home, my shelter. When I'm around her I feel peace and tranquility I've never experienced before. And nobody else ever made me feel that way.

 

I've run out of options. there is nothing more i can do. i promise to listen to the advice here and do my best to move on.

 

Thank you for everyone who read when I had to say and tried their best to help me. I appreciate it more than you know. Honestly, I really do.

[Angel1111]

I understand this kind of love and I'm sorry for your pain. I truly believe that if it's meant to be, then you'll end up with her.