SelfCentered Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 My ex and I broke up over 2 months ago. Had a hard time etc etc. Posted about it here before and I don't feel like doing it again. Anyway. The other night I was at a bar with a large group of friends. One friend of mine had invited a girl none of us knew. It was obivous he invited her there to make a move. Which was cool. What was hard and awkward was that, due to some bad seating arrangements I ended up between them and thus saw his attempts at flirting all night. It also became obvious for me that the girl was not interested in him at all. After speaking to my friends who were there later, I realised that this sentiment was echoed across the table. I ended up talking to this girl quite a bit whenever my friend was talking to someone else. She was a very approachable girl. We came from the same area, had a few familiar music tastes (which is always a good thing in my book) and overall we got on. I'll be honest, in any other situation I would have asked for her number and asked for a date. But I stopped myself from doing so for the obvious reason. Eventually everyone else left. I didn't feel like going home and I was half way to being drunk. The girl in question confinded in me that she wanted to get really drunk and have a laugh, so we started doing shots. I tried time and time again to bring my friend into our conversations, kept telling him to do shots with us. He didn't. I could tell he was getting upset with me. It probably did look like we were flirting but I can honestly say that I was not trying to. But I was pretty drunk...It didn't take long for my friend to demand a word with me outside and I got a good telling off from him. He was very angry but I didn't get angry back. I appologised and told him I'd leave. Which I did, after saying goodbye to her. We're still talking and I think he feels bad for losing his temper. And don't get me wrong, I don't want to upset him. But I can't get this girl out of my head. She was very witty and funny, I feel like I could have fun with her. Even if it's just a few dates that don't go anywhere. Would I be a right little SOB if I got into contact with her in a friendly 'hey wanna do something sometime?' kinda way, or should I just permantely stay away because my friend expressed interest in her first? I know this can be a nasty game and that I should probably avoid playing it but I can't help to wonder.
Agent_99 Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 This is from the female perspective. If this happened to me, I would ask my friend what was going on between the two of them. It sounds like it's not going to go anywhere, so hopefully your friend would be cool with you trying to date her. ~99
Author SelfCentered Posted December 7, 2008 Author Posted December 7, 2008 So basically in the end I contacted her, we went to a club (kept it casual) and ended up spending the next few days in bed together. Yeah we hit it off really fast. Although right away I knew it was getting more than just a sexual thing. When you begin to get emotional with someone you know something is up. What really proved to me that we were getting way more serious than I had planned was when I drunkenly called her last week in the wee hours of the morning, asking if I could crash. But not for sex, oh no, but for cuddling. How the hell did all this happen in like two weeks?! Plus, on top of it all, my friend didn't know I had approached her and he definately had no idea we were sleeping with one another. I am a bad person I know, but what justified it for me was that he had told some of our friends that I had been getting off with his girlfriend (?) on that night featured in my original post, which is so wrong for loads of reasons. I couldn't belive he had been lying so much to discredit me. So I thought I was in my rights to hang with her. Anyway, all of this I can actually deal with. But last night, me and said girl went out with a few people I knew and a few people I didn't. In my opinion, I didn't feel that she wanted to be with me and I left her to talk with some guys all night. I got jealous at this, but in my drunken state I was doing the right thing. Famous last words. We walked home and argued, she said she was upset because she thought I had been purposely ignoring her. She also said she liked me but couldn't deal with the crap I had just given her. We argued some more, I got the door slammed into my face, went home and we spoke some more. I went to bed not knowing if we were cool. Woke up today, text her asking if we were still...still whatever the hell we were before, and I've got no response. I'm not considering this a total loss on my behalf. It was only a two week fling that got way too serious for all the wrong reasons. And if it had drawn out for longer, I know the drama would have just continued. Not sure why i'm even bothering to type this up, I guess I just want to get my thoughts out there. Also want to reassure myself that this isn't going to set me back. But yeah, please feel free to comment. Or not. It's all good.
Gremio Posted December 7, 2008 Posted December 7, 2008 This is from the female perspective. If this happened to me, I would ask my friend what was going on between the two of them. It sounds like it's not going to go anywhere, so hopefully your friend would be cool with you trying to date her. ~99 This has happened with me once. I met a woman through a friend. She was with him (not a relationship, just at the same place) when I met her. We hit it off but I stayed far away as I will not interfere with ANYONES relationship. We talked a couple weeks later and my first question was "are you seeing so and so". She told me absolutely not, that he had asked her out and she said no. That was a green light for me to pursue her, which I did and we had a great relationship. I can tell you though my friend was very angry, to the point he wanted to "kick my ass". We are no longer friends, which I don't mind at all. He wasn't the best of characters.
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