lifeguardlauren Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 Has anyone else heard that? the cliche, "oh you are so perfect for me but i am an idiot and i don't know what i am doing" Just 2 weeks ago by somewhat bf broke up with me because i found out he was sleeping around. Now, i say somewhat boyfriend because we started dating about a year ago and i made the mistake of breaking up with him 6 months in, for reasons like my life is too hectic and he had no life outside of me. I apparently crushed him because i was his "wifie" and was his dream girl. Soon after, The latter 6 months was me trying to prove i wouldn't hurt him again because once i lost him i realized how much he meant to me. These last 6 months have been hell because he dragged me on and on, giving me false hope, saying things like "we are too perfect for eachother", calling me babe, etc. yet he never wanted to be in a commitment with me again, saying he was scared i'd hurt him again. Anyhoo, there is no question about it, we are absoulute perfect matches. We like the same things, always have sooo much fun, we are both super duper attracted to eachother. Thats quite a feat considering we both like oddball things... ie. car lovers, bmw fanatics, electronic music, random adventures... [*note: i didn't change to accomodate towards him like some girls do. We honestly stumbled upon eachother with identical interests.] I've always carried the philosophy that we are so perfect for eachother that no matter what we'd get back together. Finally i noticed he had met a new girl and within a week they slept together (gross). They have zero connection. He told me she was a butterface, yet he sticks around for her?! maybe opposites do attract? my big question is: why do people seem to dispose of their perfect match and try for some idiotic fling?! He told me he knew i was the perfect girl-- he listed reasons like i give him freedom, i am not jealous, we like the same things, i have common goals and mindset, i'm attractive-- and for some reason he didn't know why he was throwing it away. he just didn't like me anymore i am really starting to realize that it is truly his loss. Honestly most guys would kill for a fiesty, super attractive car-loving gal that doesn't complain, isn't jealous, etc.... I mean, i can honestly conceit that i am an amazing gf. It just baffles me, though. Isn't it a bad enough sign that she slept with him after a week?! doesn't it occur to him that she probably does that with other guys?! and he bothers to complain he gets hurt too much. haha when he finally gets what he wants (dreamgirl) he doesn't want it...
norajane Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 "oh you are so perfect for me but i am an idiot and i don't know what i am doing"That cliche actually applies to what you did: i made the mistake of breaking up with him 6 months in, for reasons like my life is too hectic and he had no life outside of me. once i lost him i realized how much he meant to me It doesn't apply to him, because he has a good reason for not wanting to get back together with you - you dumped him and CRUSHED him, and he doesn't want to risk that again. It doesn't matter who he's having sex with, or how perfect you might be. Because, as you said: he just didn't like me anymoreAnd he doesn't believe this: i can honestly conceit that i am an amazing gf. He doesn't think that you are or were an amazing gf, since you dumped him. You're not the gf who dumped him, period. He'd rather take his chances dating the devil he doesn't know than the devil he already knows.
Gere51 Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 Too bad, but you were the one that ended it. I wouldn't trust you again either and he probably is in a defense mode meaning that things will or could never be the same again. Be careful what you wish for, you just may get it.
Author lifeguardlauren Posted November 22, 2008 Author Posted November 22, 2008 yeah, i agree. But it is my honest opinion that right before people fully commit, they get a little skittish. i was only apart from him for 2 weeks until i decided it was a mistake. Its not like i did it for curiosity of other men. just for me. It was a very transitional time in my life and i assumed things were changing too much, we had to change as well. 2 weeks isn't a long time. He shouldn't have been over me by then.
Author lifeguardlauren Posted November 22, 2008 Author Posted November 22, 2008 i appreciate the honesty. I guess its what i needed to hear. :-/
lofi_tokyo Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 yeah, i agree. But it is my honest opinion that right before people fully commit, they get a little skittish. i was only apart from him for 2 weeks until i decided it was a mistake. Its not like i did it for curiosity of other men. just for me. It was a very transitional time in my life and i assumed things were changing too much, we had to change as well. 2 weeks isn't a long time. He shouldn't have been over me by then. I don't think its that he "got over you" while you were apart for two weeks, so much as you damaged him and once you do that kind of thing, you can never take it back entirely. A small, small scar was left behind. For six months he ignored it, but I think eventually when you betray someone once, even for a short time, they can never fully go back to where they were before hand. Thats why you lost him.
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