pinksugah Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 Hey everyone, I have this friend that is very sociable and bubbly, and very nice when someone does not know her very well. However, since we've been together through college, I have seen the bad side of her. All I want is that I can love her and not look down on her again, because not to makes me feel like a horrible insecure person. Some background information for why I feel this way: - She looks down on other people and judges them very openly, in a way that annoys me. - She has double standards, she doesn't mind herself doing things but judges other people who do. - I cannot trust her with any of my secrets because I know for sure that she tells her sisters, cousin, and another close friend of hers everything. ( looks like a long list) All I want is that I can move on and stop looking down on her or resent her for these stuff, or at least not make this obvious, but sometimes I just can't control it. Please help!!
Author pinksugah Posted November 22, 2008 Author Posted November 22, 2008 Here's an old thread for reference: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t145933/
Geishawhelk Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 - She looks down on other people and judges them very openly, in a way that annoys me. You're doing this to her right here, right now.... - She has double standards, she doesn't mind herself doing things but judges other people who do. Her attitude towards others, is her problem. - I cannot trust her with any of my secrets because I know for sure that she tells her sisters, cousin, and another close friend of hers everything. ( looks like a long list) Then don't tell her your secrets. It's partly your responsibility. Secrets are secret. you're not supposed to tell them to anyone. That's why they're called 'secrets'..... All I want is that I can move on and stop looking down on her or resent her for these stuff, or at least not make this obvious, but sometimes I just can't control it. Everything you think, say and do is under your control. Nobody else's. Who else would have control of it? Your attitude towards her, is YOUR problem.
Author pinksugah Posted November 22, 2008 Author Posted November 22, 2008 ^ Thanks for pointing these things out. I think I look down on her because she does this to other people, it's like my subconscious way of telling her you're not different than them. And I think I made a point that I stopped trusting her with my secrets. I would really appreciate it, if you posted a piece of advice, because that's what I am looking for.
Geishawhelk Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 I did. To put it more plainly: Stop judging her, and stop telling her your secrets. Work on yourself. You can't fix others, you can only fix you.
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