Question for MEN only about hookers, really better than "civilian" women?

[Woggle]

They can go to the law but they risk being arrested. Legalizing it would eliminate this problem. I just feel that in a free society if a man wants to pay for sex and a woman wants to sell it then that is their business. It is not the governments to tell people how to live their life.

[ipetree]

What is normal? Looking at porn and masturbating? Being female and not having sex unless a guy buys you a meal?

 

Alma, here are some countries where prostitution is legal in Europe..

 

Austria, Czech Republic, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Hungary, Iceland, Ireland, Kazakhastan, Latvia, Luxembourg, Netherlands, Switzerland, Turkey, UK.

 

Many other countries have it decriminalized, or it is just completely overlooked.

 

So are those nations 'civilized" enough for you? Those are just European nations. It is also legal in Australia, New Zealand, Brazil, etc etc..

[elaina]

Well if wives paid more attention to their husbands sexually, they wouldn't be tempted now would they?

 

God this whole topic is just frustrating! Some of the opinions on here are SO offensive!

 

 

NoraJane does make a good point... yeah so maybe this topic is very emotional cause you do understand right that when men cheat on their wives, it hurts their wives emotionally. That's just how it is, whether people like it or not.

 

Think about even all the beautiful actresses and models who have felt hurt when they hear that their significant other has had an affair? For example, Haile Berry and Jennifer Anniston are two very beautiful and accomplished women, yet they have experienced the emotional pain of being cheated on. It is very sad.

 

My aunt is a beautiful women who is like the "ideal" in my opinion. Her exhusband cheated on her while she was pregnant up until around 10 years later where she found out when some lady called her house. She was devasted and she had no clue. What's so horrible too is that my uncle was a youth pastor and was teaching abstinence to the youth.

 

Anyways, he wasn't cheating with an escort, but the thought of escorts does invoke in most wives a feeling of "I hope my husband loves me enough not to go there and not cheat on me either with an escort or anybody else." Do you see what I mean? I don't think that's offensive. I think that's understandable. Many guys feel that way about their wives, right? Or does nobody desire their loved one to be faithful anymore? Just curious...

[Taramere]

How would competition for this 'market' be affected by - health? pregnancy? immigration? culture?

 

Would foreign, immigrant women be allowed to compete against locals?

 

Would pregnancy be sole responsibility of the prostitute? Sexual health?

 

Too many questions! (I should add, before I continue, that my previous post was very much tongue in cheek).

 

I live in the UK, and here it would be unacceptably discriminatory to prevent non-Brit women from having local boyfriends or Friends With Benefits. Financial responsibility relating to any children would be the responsibility of the woman, of whichever man had fathered the child - or, in the likely event that he couldn't be traced and the taxpayer. That's the way things tend to work here.

 

Would it be cheaper, legally smarter and more efficient to create a one-stop shop corporation that either sold or lent women out to men?

 

You're talking about prostitutes who sleep with multiple men. I was talking about women who have a sexual relationship with a man. A relationship that has developed in a social, not a business, context. They met, they had some chemistry, they had sex. She tried (with varying degrees of success) to switch off emotionally to prevent feeling too hurt about him not having serious feelings for her.

 

In a serious vein, would a court regard women in those situations who get gifts of value from their friend (meals out, jewellery, cash gifts, aliment...) as prostitutes? Do we, as a society, regard any women who sleep with men who don't love them as prostitutes?

 

At what point does a woman who has some financial dependence on a man become classed as a prostitute? Is there a kind of present, or a regularity with which that present is given, that takes a woman over the line into prostitution? A degree of reciprocated love that stops her from being "just a whore"?

 

If the woman considers herself to be his partner (and how many women who a man regards as casual booty call see the relationship in somewhat different terms?) I don't see why any aliment her pays her would be classed by the law as a client paying a prostitute. People in the street might call it that, but I think from a legal perspective it only starts taking on the air of prostitution when the woman concerned is accepting cash gifts from a variety of "boyfriends."

 

A very dark question. I think prostitution demoralizes women, but its the world's oldest profession and will probably remain this for some time to come.

 

I agree that prostitution is demeaning to women generally, but the fact that I think that doesn't make it any of my business if a woman is freely consenting to have sex with various men and being paid by them for it. I could refuse to get involved with a man on the basis that he frequented prostitutes, but beyond that....it's really up to him.

 

Although men don't always see it that way (ie that it's okay to refuse to get involved with a man because he frequents prostitutes and you have a personal opinion about that). One time I was in a bar with a friend, and some guys came over to our table to chat. One of them mentioned a recent trip to Bangkok, and my friend said "sex tourist thing, was it?" So to be fair to them, I guess she did start it...though I think they were fishing for a conversation about that by raising the boys trip to Bangkok topic.

 

Anyway they agreed very readily that it had been a sex tourist trip. One guy in particular (who, until that point I'd been developing a bit of a connection with) started boasting about the joys of sex with "very, very young girls."

 

This spawned some debate (mainly from my friend, who wasn't too clued into the dangers of getting into vigorous debates with groups of alcohol-fuelled strangers about these things). I'd lost interest in the guy, and was now just in "trying to calm things down" mode. Me going into that mode was taken by him as indication that I was okay with the fact that he took jaunts to Thailand to shag "very, very young girls".

 

Things seemed to start to calming down, and my friend and I started to leave. The guy asked for my phone number, and I said no. He asked, in a mocking voice, something like "Because I sleep with Thai girls who might actually need the money because they live in poverty you wouldn't have a clue about...?" There'd been all kinds of righteous arguments presented to us about these girls needing the money, them doing the girls a favour etc etc....stuff I just hadn't wanted to get into with them.

 

I said "I don't want to give you my number. Leave it there." Next thing you know, this prick is screaming God knows what into my face. The bouncers ran over to haul him out, so no real harm done - but it wasn't an episode that left me feeling "Well that opened my eyes and my mind. I must take real care not to be judgemental or make unfair "loser/wanker/misogynist" assumptions about men who make regular use of prostitutes.

 

That said, I'm pretty sure a lot of men I know have visited a prostitute at some point. They have the sense to keep schtum and not go demanding some feminine rubber stamp of approval on their little experience.

 

I read a book about things like this. Its called Freakanomics.

 

I've heard a fair bit about that book. I must read it at some point.

[Trialbyfire]

It's also widespread amongst gay men...something we should do about that? Decriminalise that as well?

 

Didn't think so.

Eh, what are you talking about? I'm saying that it's not worth decriminalizing prostitution. If hookers want to take the risk for the dollars, that's their problem.

 

Well if wives paid more attention to their husbands sexually, they wouldn't be tempted now would they?

 

God this whole topic is just frustrating! Some of the opinions on here are SO offensive!

Do you know for fact that every man isn't getting sex at home? You're making assumptions that aren't based on fact. Not every man isn't getting sex at home. For that matter, not every man has healthy sexual appetites. Madonna/whore syndrome isn't just a theory, y'know!

[Mending1985]

 

Do you know for fact that every man isn't getting sex at home? You're making assumptions that aren't based on fact. Not every man isn't getting sex at home. For that matter, not every man has healthy sexual appetites. Madonna/whore syndrome isn't just a theory, y'know!

 

I'm not saying EVERY MAN, I do know for a fact that there are some women who withhold sex from their husbands for whatever reason, then when the husband cheats, they're all "Oh why did that happen? Oh poor me".

 

I've been on the receiving end, don't worry, I do know that it hurts, I'm just saying with SOME MEN (not all) there are ways to prevent cheating.

[Woggle]

Halle Berry and Jennifer Aniston might be attractive but who knows what they are like behind closed doors.

[Mending1985]

Eh, what are you talking about? I'm saying that it's not worth decriminalizing prostitution. If hookers want to take the risk for the dollars, that's their problem.

 

 

 

I was merely making reference to your BOLDED statement that hookers are responsible for a lot of the widepsread HIV...and I'm just saying, no, they're not the only ones to point the finger at if you want to go that way. Not all hookers are junkies. Stop generalising.

[Trialbyfire]

I'm not saying EVERY MAN, I do know for a fact that there are some women who withhold sex from their husbands for whatever reason, then when the husband cheats, they're all "Oh why did that happen? Oh poor me".

 

I've been on the receiving end, don't worry, I do know that it hurts, I'm just saying with SOME MEN (not all) there are ways to prevent cheating.

There's no way to prevent cheating. Since when have men become victims? If they're not getting it at home, then leave. Simple as that. If you can afford high-end hookers, you can afford a divorce. Cheating has got to be the lowest and most selfish form of coping.

[elaina]

 

I agree that prostitution is demeaning to women generally, but the fact that I think that doesn't make it any of my business if a woman is freely consenting to have sex with various men and being paid by them for it. I could refuse to get involved with a man on the basis that he frequented prostitutes, but beyond that....it's really up to him.

 

Although men don't always see it that way (ie that it's okay to refuse to get involved with a man because he frequents prostitutes and you have a personal opinion about that). One time I was in a bar with a friend, and some guys came over to our table to chat. One of them mentioned a recent trip to Bangkok, and my friend said "sex tourist thing, was it?" So to be fair to them, I guess she did start it...though I think they were fishing for a conversation about that by raising the boys trip to Bangkok topic.

 

Anyway they agreed very readily that it had been a sex tourist trip. One guy in particular (who, until that point I'd been developing a bit of a connection with) started boasting about the joys of sex with "very, very young girls."

 

This spawned some debate (mainly from my friend, who wasn't too clued into the dangers of getting into vigorous debates with groups of alcohol-fuelled strangers about these things). I'd lost interest in the guy, and was now just in "trying to calm things down" mode. Me going into that mode was taken by him as indication that I was okay with the fact that he took jaunts to Thailand to shag "very, very young girls".

 

Things seemed to start to calming down, and my friend and I started to leave. The guy asked for my phone number, and I said no. He asked, in a mocking voice, something like "Because I sleep with Thai girls who might actually need the money because they live in poverty you wouldn't have a clue about...?" There'd been all kinds of righteous arguments presented to us about these girls needing the money, them doing the girls a favour etc etc....stuff I just hadn't wanted to get into with them.

 

I said "I don't want to give you my number. Leave it there." Next thing you know, this prick is screaming God knows what into my face. The bouncers ran over to haul him out, so no real harm done - but it wasn't an episode that left me feeling "Well that opened my eyes and my mind. I must take real care not to be judgemental or make unfair "loser/wanker/misogynist" assumptions about men who make regular use of prostitutes.

 

 

Oh that is horrible. What do you mean not be judgemental? He admited to raping little girls. How is condemning raping little girls judgemental please???

 

Do you think the young girls think "Oh I want to be a little prostitute!" ? No they are from families that are very poor and so they are prostituted to make money. It has nothing to do with what they want!

 

I would have called and reported to him to the police or to International Justice Mission or another organization that helps to fight trafficking and sexual exploitation of minors.

 

No wonder the man was screaming at you... how a guy can do this and call himself a man I have no clue. He probably felt really guilty and hopefully he will end up in jail for his crimes.

[ipetree]

TBF, you did mention AIDS, right?

 

Well gay males have the highest % of AIDS. So should that be illegal? 1 out of 5 black men over the age of 40 in NYC also has AIDS. Or is that not politically correct to mention? But if you are so concerned about stopping the spread, why not point out that women should stay away from gay men, and black men?

 

 

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/02/04/nyregion/04aids.html?ex=1296709200&en=7ba2793665e37220&ei=5090

 

Today, one in five black men in New York City between 40 and 49 has H.I.V. or AIDS.

[Mending1985]

There's no way to prevent cheating. Since when have men become victims? If they're not getting it at home, then leave. Simple as that. If you can afford high-end hookers, you can afford a divorce. Cheating has got to be the lowest and most selfish form of coping.

 

I'm not saying men are victims, I'm saying that YES I understand why some men cheat ok? Oh I've offended the sisterhood now I bet. I understand why women cheat too.

 

And if you don't think there are ways to prevent it, that's fine, you are entitled to your opinion. I think differently. Simple.

[Trialbyfire]

I'm not saying men are victims, I'm saying that YES I understand why some men cheat ok? Oh I've offended the sisterhood now I bet. I understand why women cheat too.

 

And if you don't think there are ways to prevent it, that's fine, you are entitled to your opinion. I think differently. Simple.

Well, I don't understand why people cheat, male or female. It's called pure selfishness. Worse yet, a cheater who's using hookers, exposing their spouse to any and all kinds of STDs, some incurable. If someone wants to risk solely themselves, that's their life. When they cheat, they risk their partners lives.

[Taramere]

Oh that is horrible. What do you mean not be judgemental? He admited to raping little girls. How is condemning raping little girls judgemental please???

 

"Very, very young girls" could mean anything. In the UK 16 is the legal age of consent.

 

 

Do you think the young girls think "Oh I want to be a little prostitute!" ? No they are from families that are very poor and so they are prostituted to make money. It has nothing to do with what they want!

 

I would have called and reported to him to the police or to International Justice Mission or another organization that helps to fight trafficking and sexual exploitation of minors.

 

Good luck with that. You must live in a different world from the one I live in.

 

No wonder the man was screaming at you

 

Thanks. Good to hear from another woman that I was the one at fault. If I meet him again, I'll put the two of you in touch. You'd probably get along nicely together. Perhaps you could convert him to God!

[Mending1985]

Well, I don't understand why people cheat, male or female. It's called pure selfishness. Worse yet, a cheater who's using hookers, exposing their spouse to any and all kinds of STDs, some incurable. If someone wants to risk solely themselves, that's their life. When they cheat, they risk their partners lives.

 

THEY HAVE TO USE PROTECTION WITH HOOKERS! IT'S SAFER THAN PICKING UP SOME CHICK IN A BAR!

 

For crying out loud! And if they are sleeping with the kind of women who will let them go bareback, then chances are, they've cheated before anyway, and would've given their partner an STD waaaaay before that.

 

Like I said, your opinion. I'm just offering up a different one. I don't feel the need to be narrowminded about subjects.

 

And I don't comment on ones I know nothing about...

[Trialbyfire]

THEY HAVE TO USE PROTECTION WITH HOOKERS! IT'S SAFER THAN PICKING UP SOME CHICK IN A BAR!

 

For crying out loud! And if they are sleeping with the kind of women who will let them go bareback, then chances are, they've cheated before anyway, and would've given their partner an STD waaaaay before that.

 

Like I said, your opinion. I'm just offering up a different one. I don't feel the need to be narrowminded about subjects.

 

And I don't comment on ones I know nothing about...

47% HIV infection in New Jersey in 2005, for hookers! Protection isn't foolproof and I mean foolproof in more than one way!

[ipetree]

I thought the thread was about prostitution, not cheating..

 

Just as many women cheat as men today. They do not seek prostitutes because it is far easier for women to cheat. They are most likely cheating with a guy that sleeps with prostitutes.

[elaina]

"Very, very young girls" could mean anything. In the UK 16 is the legal age of consent.

 

 

 

 

Good luck with that. You must live in a different world from the one I live in.

 

 

 

Thanks. Good to hear from another woman that I was the one at fault. If I meet him again, I'll put the two of you in touch. You'd probably get along nicely together. Perhaps you could convert him to God!

 

In Thailand, very young means younger than 16.

 

Orale... No wonder he screamed at you means he felt guilty and he knew there was something seriously wrong with him. It has nothing to do with you! (Yeah by all means send him to me. I was not sexually abused, but I have friends who would love to put him in jail in a heartbeat, a few being women who were sexually abused as young girls by other men who delighted in the "joys" of sex with young girls.) Peace.

[ipetree]

47% HIV infection in New Jersey in 2005, for hookers! Protection isn't foolproof and I mean foolproof in more than one way!

 

Yes, , that's for streetwalkers. Gay men, tranvestites, crackheads..

[Mending1985]

Originally this was nothing to do with cheating.

 

I'm not saying I agree with cheating or condone it anyway, it's a horrible thing to do to someone, but I do understand why and how it happens thats all.

 

Hookers unfortunately cop the brunt of abuse because they are willing to sleep with people's partners, because it's just a job to them. The stereotype is really unfair, and yes because I was one, I am taking some of the comments very personal.

 

I have no diseases, and I was always 100% safe. I'm sure some of my clients were married, I never asked, because if I knew, I wouldn't have been able to do my job.

 

The hookers most people are referring to are the "street walkers" - they are no better in bed than any other woman, if they were, they would be making more money as an escort or in a brothel.

 

No woman needs to feel intimidated by prostitutes though. They appear to be better in bed because they can remove themselves from the situations mentally, and they don't have a personal connection to the client, so therefore there is no embarrassment. I think thats the only difference.

[ipetree]

In legalized brothels none of the women have AIDS.

[Trialbyfire]

Intimidated? You're dreaming and so is anyone else who believes that women are intimidated by hookers. There are all kinds of attitudes from women, of which most surrounds disgust that anyone would spread'em for money or gifts, for that matter. This includes gold diggers.

[ipetree]

Intimidated? You're dreaming and so is anyone else who believes that women are intimidated by hookers. There are all kinds of attitudes from women, of which most surrounds disgust that anyone would spread'em for money or gifts, for that matter. This includes gold diggers.

 

True some women only spread them for "high status" career men..Or after a man took them out for enough dinners..

[Mending1985]

Intimidated? You're dreaming and so is anyone else who believes that women are intimidated by hookers. There are all kinds of attitudes from women, of which most surrounds disgust that anyone would spread'em for money or gifts, for that matter. This includes gold diggers.

 

I wasn't directing the comment at you TBF, read a few more posts, where a few women actually used the word INTIMIDATED.

 

And I think disgust towards hookers, gold diggers, whatever is pathetic. As if you even know what these women have to go through, or how they ended up there.

We all do what we have to do to get by and you have no right to look down on other people for their personal choices.

[Trialbyfire]

I wasn't directing the comment at you TBF, read a few more posts, where a few women actually used the word INTIMIDATED.

 

And I think disgust towards hookers, gold diggers, whatever is pathetic. As if you even know what these women have to go through, or how they ended up there.

We all do what we have to do to get by and you have no right to look down on other people for their personal choices.

So it's okay to use them while they're down, right?