Question for MEN only about hookers, really better than "civilian" women?

[movingonandon]

Hmmm, well I didn't say it was true in 100% of the cases. But I believe it to be true for quite a few. There are always grey's in anything but we ulitmately deterimine which way we slide.

 

 

 

 

 

No one is saying that a man that visited a hooker is a disgusting or horrible person. It is however a huge turn off for many women. Just as it is a huge turn off for many men when a woman exploits a man just for his money.

 

Nope, that's my point you don't *have* to slide either way.

Case in point: my two best friends. Both of them have visited escort at some point prior to their current relationships.

Friend # 1: extremely devoted father and husband, handles professional and home life like a wizard...; i aspire to be like him one day.

Friend # 2: extremely devoted to and patient with his girlfriend; to save his relationship he put up with so much **** from her (based on stress, confusion, etc.)that 99% would not even contemplate dealing with; but, he worked it through with her and now they're both times better off for it.

 

So how's them seeing hookers *even relevant to anything*???

 

If their girlfriends knew about this, they'd probably get all upsed and hollier than thou, but this would speak of nothing but their own insecurities and hangups. These guys are nothing but exemplary partners.

[Trialbyfire]

I'm sure that I can find anecdoetal examples of exemplary serial killers too. Case in point, Son of Sam. Supposedly he's changed...

 

I don't see why people need to "normalize" an illegal action. Either women aren't going to be bothered by it or they will be. If you make choices in your life, expect that not everyone is going to accept your choices, particularly when it surrounds the illegal and illicit.

[SushiX]

I love hookers! They are the best ever! I just can't get enough!

[Trialbyfire]

To add further argument to the legitimacy of using a hooker, it's like expecting people to accept to the point of dating; drug addicts, alcoholics and smokers. Even of a lesser or greater nature, do you expect that everyone should want to date people who are agnostics, atheists or religious, for that matter?

 

Seems to me that once again, people are trying to justify their own actions for widespread acceptance. No one has to mercy date anyone, just like no one has to accept or respect everyone for the choices they make in life.

[SushiX]

To add further argument to the legitimacy of using a hooker, it's like expecting people to accept to the point of dating; drug addicts, alcoholics and smokers. Even of a lesser or greater nature, do you expect that everyone should want to date people who are agnostics, atheists or religious, for that matter?

 

Seems to me that once again, people are trying to justify their own actions for widespread acceptance. No one has to mercy date anyone, just like no one has to accept or respect everyone for the choices they make in life.

 

wow trialbyfire, you really hate hookers don't you. I don't see nothing wrong with it. No one is justifying anything here. Either you use their services or you don't. Some men do and some don't. I don't see the big deal. It's their choice, their life, they can do what they want.

[Trialbyfire]

wow trialbyfire, you really hate hookers don't you. I don't see nothing wrong with it. No one is justifying anything here. Either you use their services or you don't. Some men do and some don't. I don't see the big deal. It's their choice, their life, they can do what they want.

Surprisingly SushiX, I don't hate hookers or Johns, for that matter.

 

I don't respect their choices in life to do what they do for money. I also don't respect the choices made by the Johns, enough that they wouldn't be considered part of my dating pool, which is my choice.

[Woggle]

Regardless of what the reasons are if a man wants to buy sex and a woman is willing to sell it shouldn't it be their business? I am of the belief that adults should be able to do anything they want as long as it doesn't harm another person.

[ipetree]

Lizzie is right on.

 

I didn't read the entire thread, but I had to laugh. One of the posters suggesting men should look at porn and beat off instead. Talk about trying to control.

 

Also, the vast majority of men who get prostitutes just want to have sex. Many men might do it once in a lifetime. Some men might partake more.

 

The men who have no respect for women are the players who lie to women then kick them out as soon as the deed is done. For free.

 

Since money is involved, often times, ironically, the prostitutes are treated much better. They have a monetary value. I NEVER heard a man speak poorly or in a degrading way of an actual prostitute. I have heard men say HORRIBLE things about the average woman who was a one night stand, or a typical gold digger.

 

What I have heard quite often from men about one night stands was "Man, I was so drunk, I can't believe I took that girl home. I could not wait for her to leave" Or some variation.

 

Also, many successful men around the world actually marry prostitutes that they meet in other countries. Many fall in love with these women. The negative stigma is not attached as it is in the USA.

[OpenBook]

The irony that they are paying a woman to make them feel like a man seems to slip by almost all of them. I am guessing that if they were single, this would not be considered much of a confidence boost.

 

This is the part I don't get either! It would be humiliating to a man, especially considering their fragile egos, to have to actually PAY a woman to give them sex and attention.

 

I watched CNBC's "Dirty Money" special on high-end prostitution, and I remember them saying about 70% of the john's are single. I think they were talking about Wall Street. (I had always assumed that in the high-end industry at least, most john's were married, bored with their W's, and had that amazing sense of entitlement that money brings.) One of the most common reasons these single guys said why they hired hookers was time constraints - they simply didn't have the time to pursue women romantically.

 

I wonder if there's any connection between this and our current financial crisis... hmmmmm...

[OpenBook]

The men who have no respect for women are the players who lie to women then kick them out as soon as the deed is done. For free.

 

Since money is involved, often times, ironically, the prostitutes are treated much better. They have a monetary value. I NEVER heard a man speak poorly or in a degrading way of an actual prostitute. I have heard men say HORRIBLE things about the average woman who was a one night stand, or a typical gold digger.

 

That is so comforting to read, that men place a monetary value on other human beings. Sort of reminds me of slavery.

 

Also, many successful men around the world actually marry prostitutes that they meet in other countries. Many fall in love with these women. The negative stigma is not attached as it is in the USA.

 

Really?? Can you cite any stats or articles to back that up?? That is rather fantastic to believe, since these men are paying the prostitute to leave after the deed is done.

[Woggle]

It's not the prostitute that has a monetary value but the service she provides. It's similiar to a plumber, an electrician or a mechanic.

[ipetree]

Slavery? lol

 

Are you forgetting the role of women in this? Why all the blame on the men?

 

Let me give you an example..

 

Man is on a business trip to Brazil/Russia/columbia/Asia, etc. He has 2 months. Unless he has a large network of freinds, and knows the language fluently, or has tons of leisure time, he will be alone. So, he can meet a girl to be his companion. Maybe pay her 500 a week. She shows him around, teaches him, has sex with him, and is his companion.

 

Now while they "date", that man HAPPILY pays for EVERYTHING. Roles are clearly defined. So, he is paying her, and HAPPILY paying for her. Compare that to men who do not even want to pay for women while dating them back home. Often times, in the above scenario men become attached (Sleeping with a hot, nice, often times educated young woman) and they decide to get married.

 

Obviously it is different than picking up a streetwalker.

 

It isn't about "control" at all. Or a lack of respect. If women openly wanted to have sex with no strings, and this was easy to find with decent looking women, men would not pay.

[cutegirl]

 

 

 

Really?? Can you cite any stats or articles to back that up?? That is rather fantastic to believe, since these men are paying the prostitute to leave after the deed is done.

 

I read firsthand accounts on the hooker boards about johns who posted they fell in love with a hooker and were asking advice on how to get her over here and get her a green card etc... And some totally fall in love and get "jealous" that the hooker might have other "boyfriends" and such other nonsense...

 

I am guessing most pay the hooker for her to go away but there are the weird ones who fall in love.

[Alma Mobley]

I've known a few hookers. Nice girls, but most of them were drug addicts. Sorry, I would question a man's morals if he frequented hookers. But that is just me.

[ipetree]

I read firsthand accounts on the hooker boards about johns who posted they fell in love with a hooker and were asking advice on how to get her over here and get her a green card etc... And some totally fall in love and get "jealous" that the hooker might have other "boyfriends" and such other nonsense...

 

I am guessing most pay the hooker for her to go away but there are the weird ones who fall in love.

 

I think as men get older, often times they change their ideas about sex.

 

As an example, men who are young, around 20, might be totally repulsed if their girlfriend is not a virgin. When men are about 30, the amount of men the women slept with is not as big a deal. When men are 40, they no longer have any silly notions about women being pure virgins at all.

 

Let's say I meet a girl at a bar, or on the net. I have no clue as to how many men she slept with. These days it is most likely quite high. They go home with a man, get used for sex (for free), then meet a new guy. What is the big difference these days? It might even be more unappealing that women give themselves away for free.

 

And if you notice, even the men on this thread are not putting hookers down. The reason they might site for not sleeping with them is because of diseases, not from some moral/love standpoint.

[movingonandon]

I'm sure that I can find anecdoetal examples of exemplary serial killers too. Case in point, Son of Sam. Supposedly he's changed...

 

I don't see why people need to "normalize" an illegal action. Either women aren't going to be bothered by it or they will be. If you make choices in your life, expect that not everyone is going to accept your choices, particularly when it surrounds the illegal and illicit.

 

Well, same point. Nobody is forcing you to mercy date them (or even talk to them on the internet ). Just sayin' that your position says more about you than about them (if you ever even know for sure what they did in the past).

 

You have a point in trying to normalize illegal action, but as a blanket statement it has no value: 1) prostitution is legal in much of the rest of the civilised world so for the most part this is a stupid american law rather than universally accepted crime, and 2) if nobody is harmed, let people use their heads to determine what's appropriate or not, rather than keep telling them what is. I've heard blowjobs are still illegal in some states. This might be an urban myth, but if it wasn't has this stopped you?

[Alma Mobley]

Let's say I meet a girl at a bar, or on the net. I have no clue as to how many men she slept with. These days it is most likely quite high. They go home with a man, get used for sex (for free), then meet a new guy. What is the big difference these days? It might even be more unappealing that women give themselves away for free.

 

The difference is that prostitutes/hookers/whores whatever you want to call them are paid specifically for sex. It's a transaction.

 

Women having sex on their terms, whatever those may be, are just women having sex. If there is an exchange of money for sex, then it is prostitution.

 

I hope I cleared up what the difference is.

[JamesM]

This is the part I don't get either! It would be humiliating to a man, especially considering their fragile egos, to have to actually PAY a woman to give them sex and attention.

 

The reason for this is because they can pay her...to go home. This was the best reason I have heard. Men pay hookers to go home. They want the best sex ever, and then they want the best peace and quiet ever. They want that sex without work. They want that sex without the need to talk afterwards.

 

I watched CNBC's "Dirty Money" special on high-end prostitution, and I remember them saying about 70% of the john's are single. I think they were talking about Wall Street. (I had always assumed that in the high-end industry at least, most john's were married, bored with their W's, and had that amazing sense of entitlement that money brings.)

 

First, the main thing to remember is that very few married men will say to anyone let alone public TV, that they are married and visiting escorts. honesty goes only so far.

 

Based on my research, the statistics are entirely different. In fact, they are the exact opposite. On that message board, almost every one was married, and when a single one was posting, I have even read posts where he was asked why HE was visiting an escort...if he could go to bars, etc.

[Alma Mobley]

1) prostitution is legal in much of the rest of the civilised world so for the most part this is a stupid american law rather than universally accepted crime,

 

Wait, what? No, it isn't. Prostitution is NOT legal in most of the so-called civilised world. Perhaps you should define for us what you mean, then, by "civilised world" before you say that. I am going to guess that it's what is considered "first-world" industrialized nations. Guess what? Most them prohibit prostitution.

 

So what are you talking about?

[ipetree]

Alma, prostitution is legal in much of Europe. In many other countries where is it "not legal" it is only illegal on the books, and never prosecuted.

 

Similar to laws in many states that prohibit oral sex.

 

Alma, many "civilian" women will not have sex with a man if they do not take them to dinner and pay. So you have a sex "for dinner" transaction (which costs money), or a sex for money transaction.

 

Some men and women choose to be more honest, and skip the dinner.

 

Here you go Alma..

 

http://www.sexwork.com/coalition/whatcountrieslegal.html

 

It would be easier to ask which countries is it illegal in, that would be a very short list, with mainly the U.S. were consenting adult sexual rights are denied.

 

Prostitution is LEGAL (with some restrictions that aren't that bad) in Canada, most all of Europe including England, France, Wales, Denmark, etc., most of South America including most of Mexico (often in special zones), Israel (Tel Aviv known as the brothel capital of the world), Australia, and many other countries. It is either legal or very tolerated in most all of Asia and even Iran has "temporary wives" which can be for only a few hours! New Zealand passed in 2003 one of the most comprehensive decriminalization acts which even made street hookers legal which is causing many concerns. I do NOT support public nuisance street hookers being legal unless in special zones. But PRIVATE consenting adult sexwork should be legal as it is in most of the world except the U.S.

[movingonandon]

Wait, what? No, it isn't. Prostitution is NOT legal in most of the so-called civilised world. Perhaps you should define for us what you mean, then, by "civilised world" before you say that. I am going to guess that it's what is considered "first-world" industrialized nations. Guess what? Most them prohibit prostitution.

 

So what are you talking about?

Legal or decriminalised. Even canada falls in the latter category.

Others: UK, France, Germany, Denmark, Austria, Netherlands. This is just off the top of my head, and already a pretty solid chunk of the "civilised world".

 

Or let me put it another way: was the prohibition such a good idea?

[ipetree]

Exactly.. It is harder to list countries in which prostitution is not legal.

 

Even in the USA is is legal in certain places, such as Reno. However, as usual, things Americans do are just more hidden. Massage parlors, escort services, many internet sites in which prostitutes advertise and ask for 100 "roses" lol, etc. All prostitution, just a little more hidden.

[Alma Mobley]

I asked you a specific question. Prostitution is not "legal" in "much" of Europe. Please list the countries it is completely legal in instead, ok?

 

I am not talking about "off the books" but actually legal and regulated. I know there are a few, but I would not say "most."

 

Thanks.

 

Alma, prostitution is legal in much of Europe. In many other countries where is it "not legal" it is only illegal on the books, and never prosecuted.

 

Similar to laws in many states that prohibit oral sex.

 

Alma, many "civilian" women will not have sex with a man if they do not take them to dinner and pay. So you have a sex "for dinner" transaction (which costs money), or a sex for money transaction.

 

Some men and women choose to be more honest, and skip the dinner.

 

Here you go Alma..

 

http://www.sexwork.com/coalition/whatcountrieslegal.html

 

It would be easier to ask which countries is it illegal in, that would be a very short list, with mainly the U.S. were consenting adult sexual rights are denied.

 

Prostitution is LEGAL (with some restrictions that aren't that bad) in Canada, most all of Europe including England, France, Wales, Denmark, etc., most of South America including most of Mexico (often in special zones), Israel (Tel Aviv known as the brothel capital of the world), Australia, and many other countries. It is either legal or very tolerated in most all of Asia and even Iran has "temporary wives" which can be for only a few hours! New Zealand passed in 2003 one of the most comprehensive decriminalization acts which even made street hookers legal which is causing many concerns. I do NOT support public nuisance street hookers being legal unless in special zones. But PRIVATE consenting adult sexwork should be legal as it is in most of the world except the U.S.

[Alma Mobley]

Legalized and decriminalized are not the same, FYI.

[Shygirl15]

The men who have no respect for women are the players who lie to women then kick them out as soon as the deed is done. For free.

At least hookers charge for it, which makes them smarter, in my opinion..

Regardless of what the reasons are if a man wants to buy sex and a woman is willing to sell it shouldn't it be their business? I am of the belief that adults should be able to do anything they want as long as it doesn't harm another person.

How true.