Cherry Blossom 35 Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 I hear this more often than before, and to be completely honest I simply do not believe it. How can a woman "not like children" ? I know the media has an influence, but why do you think you are on Earth? To simply work, and be a consumer? My older sister had a similar attitude. Work, spend money, work, date, etc. At the age of 38 she had a child. From that point on, her life completely changed. She actually now has a purpose. She is a MUCH different person, and she would not trade having that child for anything in the he world. Money, working, saving, and spending are cheap substitutes for TRUE fulfillment. Ipetree, Deciduous, VONERICK....where do you pick out your names anyway? I'm happy for your sister and all, but your view of humans is pretty limited if you think that the only reason a woman exists is to bear children. "She actually now has a purpose"????? So a woman who does not have children has no purpose in life, no reason for being here, nothing to contribute. Yeah, right. Give me a break. I personally believe in God. I believe that my life is sacred and important, and that I have a lot to give on this earth, through my job, my friends and family. I personally do not want children. For health reasons, childbearing would be extremely risky for me. I also value my freedom more than anything. I would find it difficult to give up my life for another. It would not be the right thing for me. BTW, I am a "big sister" to a little boy in a poor neighborhood in town. I help him with school and take him to cultural events for kids. I KNOW I am important in this child's life. There are ways to contribute without creating offspring yourself.
spookie Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 I think lots of posts in this thread, while they throw out facts, are neglecting the most important aspect of marriage, children, and starting a family together: love. When you love someone, you're not counting their remaining child-bearing years, and you don't care very much what they look like. IMO, it also doens't matter the age. OP, why are you LIMITING yourself to women under 27 right now? There are so many SUPER HOT "older" women - not that the older twenties or the thirties are by any means "old", just adult, which is awesome.
Author SushiX Posted November 23, 2008 Author Posted November 23, 2008 I personally do not want children. For health reasons, childbearing would be extremely risky for me. I also value my freedom more than anything. I would find it difficult to give up my life for another. It would not be the right thing for me. Let me guess. You're at least 35+ right? It just seems to me many women 35+ are bitter about having kids because time is not on their side anymore. Now since I want kids, I think I'll avoid women 35+
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 Let me guess. You're at least 35+ right? It just seems to me many women 35+ are bitter about having kids because time is not on their side anymore. Now since I want kids, I think I'll avoid women 35+ That's an awfully bitter post coming from someone who is accusing me of being bitter. No need for such venom. I never wanted kids. Ever. It has nothing to do with time being on my side or not being on my side. And yo, by the way, women have children in their 40s now! My neighbor got married at 40 and had twins at 42! Naturally, no drugs! I would not go near someone with a ten foot pole who had issues with my age. Luckily, there are plenty of men who don't have issues with it. Like the hot 25 year old I've been seeing
MN randomguy Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 doh, forgot the article, http://health.msn.com/pregnancy/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100161311
spookie Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 So what? Everyone knows you're not *as* fertile in your late 30's, but that doesn't mean you CAN'T or even that you PROBABLY WON'T have a healthy child at that age. It just means it might take longer than one month when you accidentally missed a pill, like when you're younger. My mom had my brother when she was 43. Best kid ever.
anne1707 Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 She actually now has a purpose. Glad to know where I have been going wrong all these years. Obviously have a lack of purpose and now feel totally inadequate. Sorry but just because you are a woman, does not mean you are desperate / need to have children. Yes, I wanted children but it has not happened. However I only felt the desire to have children when I was in my thirties with a good relationship and career. The urge to have children was not about filling some void in my life. I cannot rely on others, even children, to give me purpose. That is purely my responsibility.
You'reasian Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 Glad to know where I have been going wrong all these years. Obviously have a lack of purpose and now feel totally inadequate. Sorry but just because you are a woman, does not mean you are desperate / need to have children. Yes, I wanted children but it has not happened. However I only felt the desire to have children when I was in my thirties with a good relationship and career. The urge to have children was not about filling some void in my life. I cannot rely on others, even children, to give me purpose. That is purely my responsibility. Awesome! Good to hear the rational side of a woman!!
Author SushiX Posted November 23, 2008 Author Posted November 23, 2008 I would not go near someone with a ten foot pole who had issues with my age. Luckily, there are plenty of men who don't have issues with it. Like the hot 25 year old I've been seeing lol. I don't have problem dating older women at all. It's just that I would like to have kids one day and not sure if I would stay with a woman who may have health issues or can't give birth. I'm sure some men don't care for kids as yourself but MOST men do care and do want kids.
spookie Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 I think a lots of people are now coming to realize what little s!hts kids really are. If we're expecting them to actually make us happy... I think we need to reevaluate what we actually know about them. And the kinds of expectations that are reasonable to set.
MN randomguy Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 I think a lots of people are now coming to realize what little s!hts kids really are. You know they say, that if you have kids they'll most likely behave the way you did when you were a kid. Therefore, I think I'll enjoy being a father someday, god willing.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 I'm 32, and though I have never been firmly attached to the idea of marriage and kids, I have wanted a lasting true love for most of my life. I personally am starting to view the girlfriend/wife role as pretty undesirable in the long term, as it seems that no matter what you do, it is pretty difficult to find a man who is satified with one woman long term, no matter how great she is. The best marriages I know of seem to be relatively peaceful yet somewhat monotonous business and child-rearing arrangements. Is that really all there is? Maybe so. Anyway, more on point to the question: I was probably most solidly traditional relationship-minded from the ages of about 25 to 31, personally.
spookie Posted November 23, 2008 Posted November 23, 2008 You know they say, that if you have kids they'll most likely behave the way you did when you were a kid. Therefore, I think I'll enjoy being a father someday, god willing. If that's the case motherhood will likely lead to my suicide.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted November 24, 2008 Posted November 24, 2008 lol. I don't have problem dating older women at all. It's just that I would like to have kids one day and not sure if I would stay with a woman who may have health issues or can't give birth. I'm sure some men don't care for kids as yourself but MOST men do care and do want kids. There is nothing wrong with having expectations and knowing what is right for you. For someone like you, you would be wasting your time with a woman who doesn't want kids. A lot of men want kids, but a lot don't want them, too.
mental_traveller Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 I'm over 27 and I know I don't ever want kids. Don't want to get married ever. I am content being alone. My life is fine the way it is, don't need a man to complicate my life, it is complicated enough as it is. Not all women over 27 automatically want to get married and have kids. I don't want either. Shame more women don't think this way. My ex was uninterested in marriage and kids also, it was a great relief to have a relationship based on friendship & attraction, without all the BS about settling down and so on (that almost all my previous exes eventually wanted to do).
gd26 Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 For me personally, there is some truth to the OP's post. I just recently turned 27 (though I am frequently told I look MUCH younger), and I definitely had a change in mindset from that day onwards. Before now, I still felt like I am in my 20s, but as soon as I turned 27 I had this heavy realization "Wow, I am getting closer to 30"... and thoughts of getting married, settling down, etc did come to the front of my mind. It has affected the way I meet men, as I am not looking to date casually, as I am looking for someone with long term potential since I hope to get married within the next couple of years (or less). I don't speak for all women, just myself... but I did feel that what you wrote did apply to me.
BubblyPopcorn Posted November 25, 2008 Posted November 25, 2008 Do women 27+ worry more about marriage, having kids and companionship than women under 27? And should I stick with women 27+ only or am I limiting my chances? I am above the 27 crowd, was engaged a few years back but at the time, I wasn't sure if I was ready and the proposal was really unexpected. Didn't work out but it doesn't reflect negatively on my views towards marriage, I think about it from time to time but I'm more concerned with having the right partner versus the actual marriage itself. My older sister, she was the last person I expected to get married but when she met her husband that all changed and she was over the age of 27. Then there are some of my younger friends who got married before that age and growing up, that's all they ever talked about but it was moreso the "idea" of being married that they were drawn to. So it really depends on the person I suppose.
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