Mindset of 27+ women

[SushiX]

I’m 29 years old, been dating women under 27. Sometimes I feel women under 27 aren’t quite mature and not sure about what they want yet. Because I'm ready for something more serious than just casual dating, I end up being a stepping stone for these women and usually get my heart broken.

 

So my question is would there be a higher chance of a more stable relationship with someone around my age because time is against them? Do women 27+ worry more about marriage, having kids and companionship than women under 27? And should I stick with women 27+ only or am I limiting my chances?

[cutegirl]

I’m 29 years old, been dating women under 27. Sometimes I feel women under 27 aren’t quite mature and not sure about what they want yet. Because I'm ready for something more serious than just casual dating, I end up being a stepping stone for these women and usually get my heart broken.

 

So my question is would there be a higher chance of a more stable relationship with someone around my age because time is against them? Do women 27+ worry more about marriage, having kids and companionship than women under 27? And should I stick with women 27+ only or am I limiting my chances?

 

I'm over 27 and I know I don't ever want kids. Don't want to get married ever. I am content being alone. My life is fine the way it is, don't need a man to complicate my life, it is complicated enough as it is.

 

Not all women over 27 automatically want to get married and have kids. I don't want either.

[Shygirl15]

I don't know if there's any formula on this. On one hand, you have LaurieBell who is 24 or 25 I think, and more than ready to take that next step, and on the other hand you have me, 32, and the last thing I want to hear is marriage or kids.

[Green]

With no knowledge on the subject other then my own observations I will say yes the older(less attractive) the women the more likely she will be to settle down

[Trialbyfire]

SushiX, you can't help what you're attracted to, so date within that particular attraction group. Sooner or later, you're going to find someone with a similar mindset.

[SushiX]

I'm over 27 and I know I don't ever want kids. Don't want to get married ever. I am content being alone. My life is fine the way it is, don't need a man to complicate my life, it is complicated enough as it is.

 

Not all women over 27 automatically want to get married and have kids. I don't want either.

 

You dont want kids because time is already against you? Is it too late already? And are you truly content being alone for the rest of your life and never marry?

 

My sister is 32 and says the same things as you. Even though secretly she wishes that she's found her soul mate already but it hasnt happened yet, so I think she has given up on what society expects of her and pretends to be happy.

[amymarieca]

You dont want kids because time is already against you? Is it too late already? And are you truly content being alone for the rest of your life and never marry?

 

My sister is 32 and says the same things as you. Even though secretly she wishes that she's found her soul mate already but it hasnt happened yet, so I think she has given up on what society expects of her and pretends to be happy.

 

I think you are being a little presumptuous here. There are a lot of people who don't validate their existence based on the fact they have a spouse and children. It doesn't mean that they are giving up and pretending to be happy. I am single and happy with who I am. If I happen to meet the right man and get married, then so be it. If I don't, then so be it. We live in a society where people (especially women in a financial sense) can rely on themselves and don't need partners to keep them going. When you say these things it makes me wonder if you are just trying to find someone to keep you happy rather than finding true love.

[You'reasian]

I’m 29 years old, been dating women under 27. Sometimes I feel women under 27 aren’t quite mature and not sure about what they want yet. Because I'm ready for something more serious than just casual dating, I end up being a stepping stone for these women and usually get my heart broken.

 

So my question is would there be a higher chance of a more stable relationship with someone around my age because time is against them? Do women 27+ worry more about marriage, having kids and companionship than women under 27? And should I stick with women 27+ only or am I limiting my chances?

 

I would say that women 27+ make better partners, because they know what they want, perhaps are more mature about it and communicate more directly etc. - but this is a generalization from experience, not a hard, objective fact as there are probably women 27+ who do not.

 

Whether they want to marry/have kids or not depends on their personal views.

 

If you date a woman under 27, you may find some that are mature, know what they want etc. as well, but I'd guess they would be a minority.

[Balthazar]

I’m 29 years old, been dating women under 27. Sometimes I feel women under 27 aren’t quite mature and not sure about what they want yet.

So my question is would there be a higher chance of a more stable relationship with someone around my age because time is against them? Do women 27+ worry more about marriage, having kids and companionship than women under 27? And should I stick with women 27+ only or am I limiting my chances?

 

From my personal experiences, you have a much better chance of a stable relationship that will lead to marriage if you date 25 year olds or older.

Until the age of 23/24, very few women care about marriage. If you are a bachelor, this is a great group for dating and just having fun without any commitments.

Around 25/26 women may have had a few years at a certain workplace, are more secure emotionally and financially and may wish to take the text step.

I consider the age group from 26 to 29 to be the best if your aim is to marry.

The over 30's are a mixed bag, but that is beyond the scope of this thread.

 

Cheers,

[SushiX]

I think you are being a little presumptuous here. There are a lot of people who don't validate their existence based on the fact they have a spouse and children. It doesn't mean that they are giving up and pretending to be happy. I am single and happy with who I am. If I happen to meet the right man and get married, then so be it. If I don't, then so be it. We live in a society where people (especially women in a financial sense) can rely on themselves and don't need partners to keep them going. When you say these things it makes me wonder if you are just trying to find someone to keep you happy rather than finding true love.

 

Sorry, maybe I was being a little presumptuous there. But you can't honestly say you'd be happy being single for the rest of your life. I am not looking for spouse for financial reasons or validating myself in any way. I am looking for true love, and that is my happiness. I just don't want to be that lonely 35 yr old man that has everything but then nothing. It just seems like a sad life for me. And not many are happy in that situation.

[MN randomguy]

Oh yes, biological clock. I'm 29 and over the last year have been running into this whole issue.

 

Fact:

 

A woman's best child bearing years are over at age 33. Granted, there are some women for whatever reason don't ever want kids or to get married. That's fine.

 

The thing that's frustrating, there are a lot that enjoy the attention of being on the market, young and attractive. They understand that if they get a ring the amount of attention they receive from men when they go out reduces dramatically. I personally don't hit on girls with diamond rings on their left ring finger.

 

So, every woman who eventually wants a family needs to decide when they want to give this up and settle down. At age 25 to 27 she doesn't look 21 anymore and actually becomes less competitive for male attention. She's got 5 child bearing years left. Now, its a logical time to go husband shopping.

 

Sadly,

 

Some for whatever reason assume that science will advance and they can get pregnant into their 40s, have healthy children and everything will be OK. It happens for some, but its not something to be assumed.

[Bells]

it is complicated enough as it is.

 

It's complicated enough as it is? How so?

[Illiandra]

From my guy friends and the guy Im with now, i have heard that women in the age 21-26 are a little more in their collegy phase!. for example, they really havent had a real job until their mid 20's they dont know what life is really about considering responsibilities, bills, etc. Im 26 and i have been told that i am very mature for my age. but my maturity comes from my past relationships and just life in general

[Geishawhelk]

With no knowledge on the subject other then my own observations I will say yes the older(less attractive) the women the more likely she will be to settle down

 

Well, let's be fair. Your observations are those of someone who is only just of the age when he could be considering having children, so your term "less attractive" is Subjective rather than Objective.

If you were 15 years older, you'd probably be looking at this in a completely different light.

So your observations are at best, irrelevant, and at worst - kind of insulting.

Really.

[Agent_99]

I’m 29 years old, been dating women under 27. Sometimes I feel women under 27 aren’t quite mature and not sure about what they want yet. Because I'm ready for something more serious than just casual dating, I end up being a stepping stone for these women and usually get my heart broken.

 

So my question is would there be a higher chance of a more stable relationship with someone around my age because time is against them? Do women 27+ worry more about marriage, having kids and companionship than women under 27? And should I stick with women 27+ only or am I limiting my chances?

 

I think that a women who is older just knows herself better. Whether she wants marriage or not. I married young and stuck with it for 13 years. I have now been basically single for a year. And I realize that I want a relationship, not just dating. I want someone to build a life together with. But it's not because my 'time' is running out. It's not because I feel desperate. It's because it IS what I want for myself.

 

What I think is that you should date people that you are attracted to, and really look at where they are going in life and what they want. Make sure that you have these things in common.

 

~99

[fral945]

I’m 29 years old, been dating women under 27. Sometimes I feel women under 27 aren’t quite mature and not sure about what they want yet. Because I'm ready for something more serious than just casual dating, I end up being a stepping stone for these women and usually get my heart broken.

 

So my question is would there be a higher chance of a more stable relationship with someone around my age because time is against them? Do women 27+ worry more about marriage, having kids and companionship than women under 27? And should I stick with women 27+ only or am I limiting my chances?

 

IMO, yes, your chances are better with a woman over 27. And any women over 27 who is still single and wants kids probably worries more about having them.

 

IME, generally speaking, women in their early 20s are more idealistic about relationships and don't have a fundamental grasp of working life and finances (usually because they don't learn these things until they get out of school). For those two reasons alone they generally make poor choices for long-term relationships, considering that money problems are one of the main causes for divorce.

 

Plus the fact that, well, they're in their early 20s. In that age group, most people are interesting in partying and hanging out with friends rather than developing a foundation to start a family. Plus they just don't have enough life experience to know what they want, even when they say they do.

 

Bottom line, younger women are a riskier proposition for long-term relationships.

[monkey00]

I have nothing against younger women, and actually I've dated women in their early 20's who know what they want and are extremely mature. Though there aren't a lot of them. I think the fact that a lot of them are the way they are is because they have the looks and knowingly take advantage of it while they still have it.

 

Older women know their clocks are ticking and wise up during their mid-late 20's. Though I can't say much about women in their 30's +..quite a bit of baggage.

[cutegirl]

You dont want kids because time is already against you? Is it too late already? And are you truly content being alone for the rest of your life and never marry?

 

My sister is 32 and says the same things as you. Even though secretly she wishes that she's found her soul mate already but it hasnt happened yet, so I think she has given up on what society expects of her and pretends to be happy.

 

Umm no, I don't want kids because I don't like children and I don't want to endure giving birth. Also because I am selfish and want to spend all my money on myself and on things that make me happy, not on raising another person.

 

And mainly because I value my FREEDOM, I like having the freedom to do whatever I want whenever. If I want to take off to another country for the weekend I CAN. I have nothing and no one holding me back. I don't want responsibility.

 

If I had kids I would be forced to put them first. I want to be selfish and put myself first. I don't want to devote my life to another being. I want to live my life for me and do things that I enjoy. I don't want another person that I have to be accountable for. I want the absolute freedom to do as I please without having to think twice.

 

Are you kidding me with 30 being too old for kids?? Lol.. 30 is young as hell, I know people who have kids at 37-40 with no problems... Why on earth would you think 30 is too old to have kids?? These days women have kids later than ever with fewer medical complications than ever. Why would time be against someone who is only 30? I have never even heard of such a thing. 30 is EXTREMELY young these days.

[SushiX]

 

Are you kidding me with 30 being too old for kids?? Lol.. 30 is young as hell, I know people who have kids at 37-40 with no problems... Why on earth would you think 30 is too old to have kids?? These days women have kids later than ever with fewer medical complications than ever. Why would time be against someone who is only 30? I have never even heard of such a thing. 30 is EXTREMELY young these days.

 

I never said 30 is too old to have kids. Biologicaly your twenties are the best age. Thanks to modern medicine the age at which a woman can give birth is extending, however, I wouldn't risk it having a birth at 35+, the risk of malformations, genetical disseases, low IQ, and low weight are definitely higher at that age. Plus you don't want to be 70 by the time your kids graduate high school.

[ipetree]

Umm no, I don't want kids because I don't like children and I don't want to endure giving birth.

 

I hear this more often than before, and to be completely honest I simply do not believe it.

 

How can a woman "not like children" ?

 

I know the media has an influence, but why do you think you are on Earth? To simply work, and be a consumer?

 

My older sister had a similar attitude. Work, spend money, work, date, etc.

 

At the age of 38 she had a child. From that point on, her life completely changed. She actually now has a purpose. She is a MUCH different person, and she would not trade having that child for anything in the he world.

 

Money, working, saving, and spending are cheap substitutes for TRUE fulfillment.

[Shygirl15]

Umm no, I don't want kids because I don't like children

You keep repeating that every now and then and believe me it sounds so unpleasant and nasty. You don't want to have kids, fine, but disliking them?? Makes me wonder what kind of human being you are. Geez.

[rainfall]

I hear this more often than before, and to be completely honest I simply do not believe it.

 

How can a woman "not like children" ?

 

I know the media has an influence, but why do you think you are on Earth? To simply work, and be a consumer?

 

My older sister had a similar attitude. Work, spend money, work, date, etc.

 

At the age of 38 she had a child. From that point on, her life completely changed. She actually now has a purpose. She is a MUCH different person, and she would not trade having that child for anything in the he world.

 

Money, working, saving, and spending are cheap substitutes for TRUE fulfillment.

 

 

I don't like children at all. If that makes me a bad person or not a real woman by some people's standards then I can live with that. I find children to be loud, messy, and helpless.

 

I was not put on this earth to have a child. I would find no pleasure in going through the terrible symptoms of pregnancy and then having to endure the pain of child birth.

 

I don't see why its so hard to believe that some people don't like children.

[Shygirl15]

.At the age of 38 she had a child. From that point on, her life completely changed. She actually now has a purpose. She is a MUCH different person, and she would not trade having that child for anything in the he world.

 

Money, working, saving, and spending are cheap substitutes for TRUE fulfillment.

I had a friend who had a child before me, and every now and then she would refer this statement to me. Of course, by then I didn't really understand much of what she said..until I had one of my own.

 

Now, this is one thing all child-disliking women will miss out in their lives..

[pandagirl]

I never said 30 is too old to have kids. Biologicaly your twenties are the best age. Thanks to modern medicine the age at which a woman can give birth is extending, however, I wouldn't risk it having a birth at 35+, the risk of malformations, genetical disseases, low IQ, and low weight are definitely higher at that age. Plus you don't want to be 70 by the time your kids graduate high school.

 

Medically, yes, the risks get higher as you get older. But, as the daughter of older parents (my mom was 39, and dad 41) there was no indication that they were "older." In fact, they were much more active than many of my friends younger parents.

 

The majority of women I know with children had their kids at 35+ years. My mom credits me for keeping her young!

[MN randomguy]

Umm no, I don't want kids .......

 

Are you kidding me with 30 being too old for kids?? Lol.. 30 is young as hell, I know people who have kids at 37-40 with no problems... Why on earth would you think 30 is too old to have kids?? These days women have kids later than ever with fewer medical complications than ever. Why would time be against someone who is only 30? I have never even heard of such a thing. 30 is EXTREMELY young these days.

 

 

OK, first of all Cutegirl,

 

Nobody is forcing you to have kids. I don't want children out there growing up with a mother who resents them and the strain they put on her time and pocketbook.

 

However,

 

To answer the OP's question. Understand, a lot of women, I think its safe to say the majority of women want at least one child.

 

The article I'm linking says this:

Every study you read or expert you consult will agree: 35 is the age of reckoning for women when it comes to having children. In your early 30s, your chances of getting pregnant are only slightly lower than in your late 20s and your risk of a miscarriage or a baby with Down syndrome only slightly higher — but at 35, that decline in fertility begins to accelerate. Age 35 is also the point when Down syndrome and other genetic abnormalities become more of a concern, so experts routinely recommend amniocentesis, chorionic villus sampling, or other detailed fetal screening during pregnancy from the mid-30s on.

Miscarriage rates also rise slowly but steadily as women age, as do pregnancy-related complications. A woman over 35 is more likely than a younger woman to have an ectopic pregnancy. Cesarean rates are also higher for women over 35: First-time mothers this age have a 40 percent chance of a c-section delivery compared to 14 percent of first-time mothers in their 20s. Experts say these increased cesarean rates are caused by pregnancy problems like fetal distress or prolonged second-stage labor, which are more common for older mothers.

If you want this child, think, plan. What to I have to do to get ready? Oh, a husband would be nice. Maybe some time to date said husband, engagement, get married. Maybe get used to being married for a while. Also, how many kids do they want? How much space in between.

 

If you want two kids two years apart count backwards.

 

second baby born at age 35

 

first baby born at age 33

 

pregnant for the first time 32 (nine month gestation)

 

married by 31

 

meet husband at the latest age 30.

 

If you're 27 and single you've most likely been dating for 10 years and have nothing to show for it. If you want two kids and a picket fence someday. You've got three years to find that husband. Maybe you'll use different criteria for the guys you date.

 

Of course for the minority that don't want kids this doesn't apply to you.