Brimstone_Angel Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 ...She said "I like you 'cause you have a good head on your shoulders." Yea...uh...what? What does that mean?... It means you have wisdom and common sense. That you are intelligent without being a know-it-all. And that you are mature.
Capricciosa Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 I'm somewhat vain, I must admit, so I always appreciate compliments about my looks, but I really want to be admired for my brains, so number 2 really is nice to hear. Ironically, I think #1 often distracts people from #2. Someone focused on my looks and dismissive of my brains is not a person I can be around for too long. So I choose the combo pack.
Author Trialbyfire Posted November 22, 2008 Author Posted November 22, 2008 More good input. Thanks. Anyone else?
MN randomguy Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 Brimstone, I've only ever seen two ugly babies in my entire life, one with a very large rectangular head, the other with a really tiny head. Thank goodness they were both very large babies so I was able to compliment their mother's on the growth rate of both babies "How old is your baby now? Oh, wow, he/she's really growing fast. He/she will be tall, just like his/her mother/father!" HAHA, Anyone remember when Pamela Anderson had a kid 10 years or so ago? She was still a celebrity back then. Pictures were all over the tabloids. I was in school and working evenings at a grocery store at the time. I remember the conversation I had with a customer, Man what an ugly baby. :lmao: Sorry, off topic.
Humbleman Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 I'll take any compliment as long as they stroke my ego and make me feel good.
SushiX Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 For some strange reason I dated over 50 women and not once have I been complimented on my looks and anything else for that matter. I would feel flattered if they do. I know women love receiving compliments but hardly return any..how selfish! They act like its the man's job!
Author Trialbyfire Posted November 22, 2008 Author Posted November 22, 2008 Okay, here's where I sit on this topic. When I get lavished with compliments from the opposite sex, it makes me feel they're being disingenuous, therefore it has the reverse effect that's intended. If someone constantly compliments me on #1, it makes me think they're shallow or are projecting their own values of what they want to be complimented on, which circles back to being shallow. As for #2, #3 and many of the categories referenced by other members, it's nice to hear once in awhile, when given sincerely. I guess for me, overall, fewer compliments but given with sincerity is meaningful, as long as it's not solely focused on the external.
nicki Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 I once read that men appreciate short compliments from women like, "Nice shirt."....."Nice ass."...."Wow, you fixed the sink!" And women appreciate compliments that say what kind of person they are, or makes them feel special and unique, as in, "You made me dinner. You are so loving and thoughtful!" "Great meeting. You are an inspiring leader." "Nice suit. You have amazing fashion sense." "Wow, you are beautiful. Your eyes are the most intense blue I've ever seen." (special and specific) I think this is true!
kashmir Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 I like any of those 3 compliments. They don't come very often. I think it's because I usually miss when someone is complimenting me because I think they're just joking.
norajane Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 But I think the thing that most flips my switch is to hear some way that I affect the other person. "You make me feel...." "You make me laugh..." or "I like being with you because..." or something along those lines. I would take those as a personal compliments, but they also reinforce the idea that I've made a connection that the other person values. I like those compliments best, too. Otherwise, I like #1. I know I'm intelligent and a decent person, but I like to hear that a guy thinks I'm beautiful because that's more subjective and it matters to a guy to be with a woman he thinks is beautiful.
allina Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 I like all 3 and receive a good, mixed amount. I think my favorite compliments are on specific things I've done well Other than by my SO, I never get complimented on being nice and sweet though
Storyrider Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 I like those compliments best, too. Otherwise, I like #1. I know I'm intelligent and a decent person, but I like to hear that a guy thinks I'm beautiful because that's more subjective and it matters to a guy to be with a woman he thinks is beautiful. I was thinking this also, NJ, but couldn't think how to express it. Not so much that I would want him to praise my physical appearance, but that he is approaching me first as a woman and his lover and not as someone to engage with intellectually (verging on a friend) or someone to nurture him (verging on a caregiver). Those are fine but should be secondary because they can be found elsewhere.
Author Trialbyfire Posted November 22, 2008 Author Posted November 22, 2008 I was thinking this also, NJ, but couldn't think how to express it. Not so much that I would want him to praise my physical appearance, but that he is approaching me first as a woman and his lover and not as someone to engage with intellectually (verging on a friend) or someone to nurture him (verging on a caregiver). Those are fine but should be secondary because they can be found elsewhere. But ladies, beauty is so fleeting. If all he values is your beauty, what happens when you grow a few wrinkles or put on an extra 10 lbs? Is it not that you want to be viewed as a beautiful person? That no matter what happens to your shell, that you're still beautiful to him?
Storyrider Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 But ladies, beauty is so fleeting. If all he values is your beauty, what happens when you grow a few wrinkles or put on an extra 10 lbs? Is it not that you want to be viewed as a beautiful person? That no matter what happens to your shell, that you're still beautiful to him? Well, I may be interpreting #1 more broadly than you intended it. I was thinking more about beauty overall, like in the Beatles' song Something, where George Harrison describes how amazing Patti Boyd was to him, the way she moved, the way she made him feel.
You'reasian Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 This is a question for either gender. When someone of the opposite gender pays you a compliment, what do you prefer to hear? 1. About your looks, this could include your fashion sense, as well as physical attributes. 2. About your intelligence. 3. About your emotions, ie. compassionate, empathy, kindness, etc. Doesn't matter, so long as the compliment comes from her and is what she was thinking about at the moment.
V.Vixen Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 Compliments on my personality stay with me and mean so much more to me than superficial ones. I think i am attractive, and if I am feeling insecure it is usually about something besides looks, so I appreciate those compliments so much more. "You have a kind soul" is one that my coworker gave me last week, and I still think about it regularly. "You make me laugh/you are so funny" is the best compliment ever for me.
Author Trialbyfire Posted November 22, 2008 Author Posted November 22, 2008 Well, I may be interpreting #1 more broadly than you intended it. I was thinking more about beauty overall, like in the Beatles' song Something, where George Harrison describes how amazing Patti Boyd was to him, the way she moved, the way she made him feel. Perhaps so but this stanza would concern me. You're asking me will my love grow I don't know, I don't know You stick around now it may show I don't know, I don't know
norajane Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 But ladies, beauty is so fleeting. If all he values is your beauty, what happens when you grow a few wrinkles or put on an extra 10 lbs? Is it not that you want to be viewed as a beautiful person? That no matter what happens to your shell, that you're still beautiful to him? I don't think beauty is the only thing a man values. But if he doesn't think I'm beautiful or doesn't value MY beauty, then I don't believe he'll care to learn about all my other wonderful qualities and come to value me as a whole. If he's not thinking I'm beautiful, he's not going to get close enough to find out who I am. If I don't appeal to him on the beauty level, game over before it's begun.
Author Trialbyfire Posted November 22, 2008 Author Posted November 22, 2008 I don't think beauty is the only thing a man values. But if he doesn't think I'm beautiful or doesn't value MY beauty, then I don't believe he'll care to learn about all my other wonderful qualities and come to value me as a whole. If he's not thinking I'm beautiful, he's not going to get close enough to find out who I am. If I don't appeal to him on the beauty level, game over before it's begun. nj, it gets pretty old fast, if time after time after time, you end up with shallow men. This doesn't mean that it's not interspersed with quality but it's like Pavlov's conditional reflex theory. Sooner or later, you get pretty jaded.
Storyrider Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 Perhaps so but this stanza would concern me. You're asking me will my love grow I don't know, I don't know You stick around now it may show I don't know, I don't know Actually, this (the bridge of the song) makes me think he's worried he might need some Viagra.
Storyrider Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 nj, it gets pretty old fast, if time after time after time, you end up with shallow men. This doesn't mean that it's not interspersed with quality but it's like Pavlov's conditional reflex theory. Sooner or later, you get pretty jaded. We must not hear it as often as you do, TBF! I myself have not heard it nearly often enough to get jaded...
Author Trialbyfire Posted November 22, 2008 Author Posted November 22, 2008 Actually, this (the bridge of the song) makes me think he's worried he might need some Viagra. Interpretation is everything!
prettybaby Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 1. About your looks, this could include your fashion sense, as well as physical attributes. 2. About your intelligence. 3. About your emotions, ie. compassionate, empathy, kindness, etc. That's about the right order as far as I'm concerned
norajane Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 nj, it gets pretty old fast, if time after time after time, you end up with shallow men. This doesn't mean that it's not interspersed with quality but it's like Pavlov's conditional reflex theory. Sooner or later, you get pretty jaded. I'm sorry you've had that experience. My view is that men don't bother getting to know women unless they are attracted to them. And physical beauty plays a big part in that attraction. A guy who doesn't think you are beautiful is not likely to even notice you, much less get hooked on you at his core no matter if you are Marie Curie and Mother Teresa combined. I'm not saying you have to be universally beautiful to all. But you do have to be beautiful TO HIM. HE has to think so, or it doesn't work.
johan Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 I don't like spoken compliments that much. They have no value. I'd prefer compliments in the form of action. Give me a raise. Hang around. Laugh. Rely on me. Fall for me. Put me in your will. Share your life with me. Of course, I can't accept compliments in those forms from everyone. But the good feeling from a spoken compliment lasts about as long as it takes for the person to say it.
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