eDave Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Hello, What is your overall consensus of finding a quality man 40+ out there that is not heavily laden with baggage, kids, past cheating, etc. and has generally good qualities and beliefs. Sorry for the generalization. Just curious because I believe my recent ex had a good one but he made an honest mistake early that was taken to the far extreme, which I believe is due to her past and experiences. Admittedly, this is for my own peace of mind and I hope I am not coming across as a guy who would delight in her possible upcoming struggles. I am early into this and really want to wait it out and see what happens. From your experiences, what have you found? It the pool small? Thank you in advance for all of your responses and again, I hope I am not coming across as a jerk. e
Geishawhelk Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 It's rare to find anyone of that age who doesn't have a history. How much of it is "baggage" is up to the individual. I have two almost grown-up daughters from whom I was estranged when their father and I split up. I'm now back in contact with the eldest, although there is much to be discussed. My partner has a daughter of 16 he hasn't seen for 9 years because his first wife (her mother) moved without contacting him and telling him. His 2nd wife lives quite far away from us, with their 13-year old son, but he's in constant touch. Both his divorces were acrimonious. he also has sibling issues, and his mother was alcoholic, and died when he was 22. The associated complications are only as problematic as we permit them to be.
sumdude Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 Well, let's see... I'm 40, no kids, in good shape, well employed and divorced with only the expected 'baggage' from that. So overall I'd say a pretty darn good catch. Besides it ain't about what you are it's about who you are.
Author eDave Posted November 22, 2008 Author Posted November 22, 2008 Good to hear sumdude. Really. Though not the intent of my question, I guess in a way I will find what my chances are as well.
Shygirl15 Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 My previous and current relationships was/is with 40+ guys; and though they both have kids/divorce baggage, they will always be the most enjoyable relationships I have ever had. A completely single 40+ guy is not always a plus. They tend to be immature in a way, no sense of responsibility (they have had none so far anyways), and out of touch with reality. Some commitment issues are likely to be present too. Not good.
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