qtkat31 Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Ok all you ladies out there hoping to get that proposal on Christmas (including myself..Lol) I was just wondering if any of you have been thrown any hints lately and if so what kind of hints? Do some of you just know you're gonna get engaged by Christmas? I just would like to hear some others thoughts on this..
Lauriebell82 Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 I think it's best to just stop looking for hints, and if it happens then it happens. Driving yourself nuts over it isn't going to make you happy, nor will it make your Christmas special, you will be left disappointed. I'm trying to take this advice myself, as my situation is similar. If your boyfriend asks you what you want for Christmas tell him to surprise you and give him a few little hints (not ring hints, like something such as a dvd set or a gift card to your favorte clothing store). Then let him make up his mind what he wants to give you. This is easier said then done, however if you expect a proposal and don't get one, it will most likely ruin your Christmas if you get upset about this. This is advice that I am trying to follow, because it's the truth. Good luck!
Author qtkat31 Posted November 21, 2008 Author Posted November 21, 2008 well lauriebell I don't really have my hopes up so high that it would ruin my Christmas. The way I look at it is if it happens it happens, if it don't it don't..no big deal b/c I know it will in time..I just think it's exciting to hear what everyone has to say and if anyone else has gotten any hints..My guy didn't come out and say it but he didn't have to, I can definitely tell he's up to something..We've also been house hunting and finally found the one we want so the only thing really left to do is for him to propose...We'll see!
Lauriebell82 Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 well lauriebell I don't really have my hopes up so high that it would ruin my Christmas. The way I look at it is if it happens it happens, if it don't it don't..no big deal b/c I know it will in time..I just think it's exciting to hear what everyone has to say and if anyone else has gotten any hints..My guy didn't come out and say it but he didn't have to, I can definitely tell he's up to something..We've also been house hunting and finally found the one we want so the only thing really left to do is for him to propose...We'll see! Oh, well that's good. I'd caution about buying a house before being engaged/married. That can turn into kind of a sticky situation if things take a turn for the worst. But good luck on the proposal, I hope he does!
bozwa Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 I was hoping for a proposal on Christmas also. The onyl thing stopping my SO from asking me is because, in these economic times, money is tight (I know his financial situation as all of our paychecks are deposited into the same account). I have told him about the type of ring I want (which is not the cheapest you can get, but is by no means hugely expensive). We've have had many discussions and we are certain we want to get married to eachother. We have terrific communication, and my boyfriend knew I was hoping (not expecting, but hoping) for a proposal at Christmas. So he had a talk with me telling me he had been working very hard to do this, but it wasn't going to be possible. He had tried every avenue. He said he doesn't want to get me a ring I'll accept, but he wants to give me the best. I told him it doesn't matter, but it matters to him. He didn't want me hoping on Christmas Day and then be disappointed when it didn't happen. He says "I have given women dinky rings in the past (as he has been engaged before); YOU deserve the best there is and I'm going to give that to you." At first I was upset/disappointed. I had tried not to get my hopes but I had failed. LOL But then I realized that I loved him for thinking of my feelings and still wanting to make my Christmas special. I enjoyed the gifts he did give me and I am grateful to him for that conversation. So I still have that surprise to look forward to!
Lauriebell82 Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 I was hoping for a proposal on Christmas also. The onyl thing stopping my SO from asking me is because, in these economic times, money is tight (I know his financial situation as all of our paychecks are deposited into the same account). I have told him about the type of ring I want (which is not the cheapest you can get, but is by no means hugely expensive). We've have had many discussions and we are certain we want to get married to eachother. We have terrific communication, and my boyfriend knew I was hoping (not expecting, but hoping) for a proposal at Christmas. So he had a talk with me telling me he had been working very hard to do this, but it wasn't going to be possible. He had tried every avenue. He said he doesn't want to get me a ring I'll accept, but he wants to give me the best. I told him it doesn't matter, but it matters to him. He didn't want me hoping on Christmas Day and then be disappointed when it didn't happen. He says "I have given women dinky rings in the past (as he has been engaged before); YOU deserve the best there is and I'm going to give that to you." At first I was upset/disappointed. I had tried not to get my hopes but I had failed. LOL But then I realized that I loved him for thinking of my feelings and still wanting to make my Christmas special. I enjoyed the gifts he did give me and I am grateful to him for that conversation. So I still have that surprise to look forward to! That's good he was honest with you! I know it's hard to wait, it's hard for myself as well. But it will be great when it happens, and when he is actually ready for it to happy, so trying to keep that in mind is what is helping me.
norajane Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 I was hoping for a proposal on Christmas also. The onyl thing stopping my SO from asking me is because, in these economic times, money is tight (I know his financial situation as all of our paychecks are deposited into the same account). I have told him about the type of ring I want (which is not the cheapest you can get, but is by no means hugely expensive). We've have had many discussions and we are certain we want to get married to eachother. We have terrific communication, and my boyfriend knew I was hoping (not expecting, but hoping) for a proposal at Christmas. So he had a talk with me telling me he had been working very hard to do this, but it wasn't going to be possible. He had tried every avenue. He said he doesn't want to get me a ring I'll accept, but he wants to give me the best. I told him it doesn't matter, but it matters to him. He didn't want me hoping on Christmas Day and then be disappointed when it didn't happen. He says "I have given women dinky rings in the past (as he has been engaged before); YOU deserve the best there is and I'm going to give that to you." At first I was upset/disappointed. I had tried not to get my hopes but I had failed. LOL But then I realized that I loved him for thinking of my feelings and still wanting to make my Christmas special. I enjoyed the gifts he did give me and I am grateful to him for that conversation. So I still have that surprise to look forward to! If all your money is deposited into a joint account, then how is it that HE would be giving you "the best"? Isn't it already your combined income that's being saved? Meaning, you are also contributing to the purchase of the ring if the money is coming out of your joint savings. I'm just saying, if pride and money is holding him back, then let the communication between you go that much further and tell him that it's possible to buy rings on monthly payment plans and it's your combined income anyway, so what's the big deal about HIM buying you the best? You can both sit down and consider how much you can afford on a ring. It seems foolish not to commit to each other because of a ring when it seems you've already committed through joint finances and are probably living together.
Lauriebell82 Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 If all your money is deposited into a joint account, then how is it that HE would be giving you "the best"? Isn't it already your combined income that's being saved? Meaning, you are also contributing to the purchase of the ring if the money is coming out of your joint savings. I'm just saying, if pride and money is holding him back, then let the communication between you go that much further and tell him that it's possible to buy rings on monthly payment plans and it's your combined income anyway, so what's the big deal about HIM buying you the best? You can both sit down and consider how much you can afford on a ring. It seems foolish not to commit to each other because of a ring when it seems you've already committed through joint finances and are probably living together. Yeah, I actually noticed that too. Sorry to say, but he may be just using that as an excuse. I tend to think that, although finances are a legit reason to not propose/get engaged I still think there are ways around it. Like Norajane suggested, taking out credit. If a guy can afford to buy an expensive ring then great, but a lot of my friends have gotten engaged with a 500 dollar ring and LOVE it.
moonshadow Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 If all your money is deposited into a joint account, then how is it that HE would be giving you "the best"? Isn't it already your combined income that's being saved? Meaning, you are also contributing to the purchase of the ring if the money is coming out of your joint savings. I'm just saying, if pride and money is holding him back, then let the communication between you go that much further and tell him that it's possible to buy rings on monthly payment plans and it's your combined income anyway, so what's the big deal about HIM buying you the best? You can both sit down and consider how much you can afford on a ring. It seems foolish not to commit to each other because of a ring when it seems you've already committed through joint finances and are probably living together. I agree. Obviously if both their paychecks are deposited into a joint account, they must live together. Live together but excuses about getting engaged? Sounds like he's stalling to me. Due to these economic times, most chain jewelry stores (especially this time of year) are desperate for sales and have all kinds of do-able finance plans where the payments are more than reasonable. You can get a very nice engagement ring for $2500-$3000, with very reasonable monthly payments. It should be even easier for a guy to afford such payments if he's living with his GF and is therefore splitting the cost of all usual expenses (rent/mortgage, utilities, groceries, etc). A lot of guys have it good though; they live with their girlfriend and manage to get all of the "perks" of a marriage but without the proper commitment.....and they love this and take complete advantage of it. Too many women are too quick to agree to live together or even buy a home together (!!!) and they settle for having to wait for the guy to propose, if he ever does. I'd never live with a guy at this point unless he could prove to me that he was willing to make a real commitment and take actual steps to make a life together. No way am I going to give him all the perks (make a nice home, cook, clean, do his laundry, be there waiting for him everyday when he comes home from work) without him being prepared to give something in return; a commitment. It's sad that so many gals are willing to shack up and then they wait and wait, year after year, waiting for the ring and marriage plans - that often take years to arrive, and sometimes they never do.
bozwa Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 Ladies, he's not stalling. We talk about marriage practically on a daily basis. He even goes so far as to sing-song my first name with his last. LOL His dad even calls me daughter-in-law. He's talked with my best girlfriend, he's talked with my sister. He talked with my parents! LOL Yes we do have our money jointly in an account, and I handle the finances, so yes I see every dime, every purchase. However, he does get bonuses monthly on his job and tax time is coming up. We have excellent communication, so we discuss every detail of every thing. Neither one of us want a monthly payment on a ring. He has his way he'd like to handle getting a ring, and I'm going to let him take whatever time is necessary for him to do that for me. The ring will be solely from HIM, from his HEART. My BF relishes in spoiling me however he can, and I don't mean just monetarily or materialistically. We both know how much we love each other, we both know we are getting married.
bozwa Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 It seems foolish not to commit to each other because of a ring when it seems you've already committed through joint finances and are probably living together. We are already committed. Very much so. A ring is just a bonus.
Lauriebell82 Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 Ladies, he's not stalling. We talk about marriage practically on a daily basis. He even goes so far as to sing-song my first name with his last. LOL His dad even calls me daughter-in-law. He's talked with my best girlfriend, he's talked with my sister. He talked with my parents! LOL Yes we do have our money jointly in an account, and I handle the finances, so yes I see every dime, every purchase. However, he does get bonuses monthly on his job and tax time is coming up. We have excellent communication, so we discuss every detail of every thing. Neither one of us want a monthly payment on a ring. He has his way he'd like to handle getting a ring, and I'm going to let him take whatever time is necessary for him to do that for me. The ring will be solely from HIM, from his HEART. My BF relishes in spoiling me however he can, and I don't mean just monetarily or materialistically. We both know how much we love each other, we both know we are getting married. Well, good for you both. Let him do it his own way, if you are fine with waiting to get engaged then that's all that matters.
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