swoop Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Confused... I recently asked a girl to dinner, she said she would think about it, then next time I saw her she said she wasn't ready to start dating yet, but would keep the option open... when she first responded with "I'll think about it" I figured ok fine whatever, move on... but now that she came back with no, but keeping the option open... I am even more confused... So some background: We are both college students with the same major, I'm 28, she is 26. She did recently break up with a guy after a 3 year relationship... We've hung out a few times and we have a class together where we often work together. she did let me buy her lunch at one point when we were hanging out a few days before I asked her to dinner... we will certainly be interacting quite often over the next few years with school. I'm really concerned with becoming "just friends" as I seem to be really great at making female friends instead of girlfriends no matter how much I flirt or whatever... I'm the typical nice guy and really never know when to make a move. so should I just wait till she's ready? or just move on altogether. I know I don't want to pressure her as well... but how much attention should I give her?
windows Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 if she just recently broke up with a guy over a long term relationship; chances are she's quite hung up on him. it really depends on the type of girl she is. I mean; she sounds nice enough to grant you a 'maybe'. remember; she could have said no to begin with which means you do hold a little weight in her mind. my 2 cents I'm throwing in says that her ex might be on her mind; don't be too eager because you might end up on the rebound.
sultry33 Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Confused... I recently asked a girl to dinner, she said she would think about it, then next time I saw her she said she wasn't ready to start dating yet, but would keep the option open... when she first responded with "I'll think about it" I figured ok fine whatever, move on... but now that she came back with no, but keeping the option open... I am even more confused... So some background: We are both college students with the same major, I'm 28, she is 26. She did recently break up with a guy after a 3 year relationship... We've hung out a few times and we have a class together where we often work together. she did let me buy her lunch at one point when we were hanging out a few days before I asked her to dinner... we will certainly be interacting quite often over the next few years with school. I'm really concerned with becoming "just friends" as I seem to be really great at making female friends instead of girlfriends no matter how much I flirt or whatever... I'm the typical nice guy and really never know when to make a move. so should I just wait till she's ready? or just move on altogether. I know I don't want to pressure her as well... but how much attention should I give her? I think she does like you but as she is just out of longterm rs she is taking time for herself.. which is good. To prevent being friendzoned show interest but not too much.. keep it friendly and casual and give her enough distance to thnk of you hope it works out;)
PrincessPeach Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Take her on a better date than dinner. And don't call it a date. Call it hanging out or you don't even need to call it anything at all. Dinner isn't a FUN date. Take her on some sort of action date, the both of you will be having fun and she will associate that fun to spending time with you an therefore want to spend more time with you. What do you like to do? Bowling, MiniGolf, Pool, Hiking, or go to a Museum? Ice skating is in season right now. Take her to do something that requires action. It gets the adrenaline flowing (which is a good thing) and you get to be closer to her than "across the table."
xpaperxcutx Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 She contemplated about the "dinner", which to her meant you wanting to date her, so she turned you down. When she says she doesn't want to start dating, it means just that. The only reason she kept the question open is because she didn't know how to turn you down politely without you taking offense. This girl had been in a three year relationship, she's a bit out of touch on rejecting people upfront. The only thing you can do is respect her wishes, and not bother her anymore. You can't pressure or in any way persuade her to change her mind.
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