Brimstone_Angel Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 A Relationship. Or dating experiences? And why? I am looking for a relationship. I have always been a relationship person because I don't like frequent changes in certain aspects of my life. I like to have a starting goal and a ending goal and work on that. I don't like meeting new people and getting to know them, only to have them leave after we just really started to know each other. I love the idea of building something special with just one person. I am secure in who I am and who I want to share my life with. I have always known from a young age, particularly when I started understanding the attraction between males and females in my life. Thanks to the excellent and not so excellent relationships of those I consider/considered my role models, I have always had a strong since of the type of woman I wanted in my life. I knew what I wanted of her physically, I knew what type of personality I wanted, I even knew what kinds of concepts and goals in marriage I would like us to share. So, when ever I like a girl or woman, I already knew what I was looking for. This is why I am looking more for the relationship experience, vice the dating experience.
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Well, having finalized my divorce in August, I'm looking for dating. I had 4 years of a PITA "relationship" and need a bit of a break. So my focus is on getting as much experience with different people as possible (I do NOT mean sex...sex will come only when I get exclusive with someone). I didn't really date in my teen years because I was so painfully shy, so I'm kind of enjoying a part of my life that I never got to experience. One day I'll settle down again, but for now I wanna have some fun.
PrincessPeach Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 I am not single, just wanted to comment to the opening post. I think it's good to have a goal of a relationship, but I think starting off with that mindset is likely to push someone away. It's something you need to work toward, it's not a starting point. Everyone has to start at the same point regardless of what they are looking for. Whether you want a relationship, marriage, or just a quick fling, you have to start off with approaching and attracting that other person. The first stages are the same for everyone, it's not until after that where ideals and methods start to deviate. You are going to have to go through that "getting to know you" phase. You can;t just be in a relationship. And there will be people who leave, and you might not like it. But those people aren't cut out for you anyway, so be glad they left when they did and allowed you to continue looking for what you did want. I'm a big fan of "Relationships aren't planned, they just happen."
flc Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 I'm a big fan of "Relationships aren't planned, they just happen." Agree, after 20 years of marriage I was looking to date and have some fun. After a handful of dates and a lot of fun I met someone that I am now in a relationship with. Was not planned, I was not looking for it to happen but I am happy it did.
getchoo Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 I would date to relationship. Meaning I want to date with the future in mind. I'd gain experience through dates while finding the one I'm compatible with.
alphamale Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 This is why I am looking more for the relationship experience, vice the dating experience. how does one find a relationship without dating?
Author Brimstone_Angel Posted November 21, 2008 Author Posted November 21, 2008 how does one find a relationship without dating? When I say dating, I mean I am not planning on being with this person or if we fall into a relationship we do, if we don't we don't. I like clear, cut, and precise goals for myself and when I am looking to form a relationship with someone. I through asking certain questions can get the jist of what a woman wants, if she is like me and is looking for a relationship and actively pursues that with me (like the last love of my life) then that is awesome, now if she is just out there testing the waters and just letting things happen by chance, then I usually don't pursue anything but a friendship with that person. Now this does not mean I don't COURT the woman I am with, to me courting and dating are two different things. In my opinion, courting means two people are grooming themselves and the other for a relationship. Dating, eh, I might try to fit in with my current partner or I may not. Like someone said, she is out for the fun. I hope that makes sense.
Isolde Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 I'm not sure, I guess I'd say both, not necessarly at the same time.
MN randomguy Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 I will only date people that I could possibly allow myself to end-up with. 'cause breaking up is hard to do.(can't think of the name of that song) In the same spirit of having a goal. I don't see the point of the end game is a failed relationship.
Vertex Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 Right now I am single, and not really actively looking, but if I meet someone who is great, I won't have any hesitation to venture further.
Recommended Posts