Phoenix11 Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 Chatted with BF yesterday via IM... I asked are we getting together this weekend... He says: dunno...what do you think? gotta work on my car all sat. no more racing on sunday...maybe the odds are good! k...chat tomorrow about it? Of course I did not like anything about this response. "what do you think?" "maybe the odds are good" Needless to say, I have not heard from him at all today. I'm bummed. Things were going so well lately. I guess I'm even more twisted because I discovered he was back on a dating site two weeks ago, however without a pic posted. So I'm thinking he has connected with someone from the site and plan on going out with her this weekend which is why he is being so vague. Hmmm...Am I reading too much into his IM comments yesterday? He did sign off by blowing me kisses.
Lizzie60 Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 From what I read.. you are very emotionally dependant on this guy. Don't call him.. don't ask him when you're going to see him... Leave him alone, if he's still on a dating site.. he's just not that into you.. and he's still looking.. Just ignore him and move on.. If he calls again... tell him you've got plans for that weekend... Just be independant.. he will be at your feet, if he really likes you.. otherwise.. you will lose him.. Insecure people are a huge turn-off.. for men AND women..
alphamale Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 Hmmm...Am I reading too much into his IM comments yesterday? yes just call him and tell him you've made alternate plans for the weekend and see what he says...that will tell you a lot
Author Phoenix11 Posted November 20, 2008 Author Posted November 20, 2008 From what I read.. you are very emotionally dependant on this guy. Don't call him.. don't ask him when you're going to see him... Leave him alone, if he's still on a dating site.. he's just not that into you.. and he's still looking.. Just ignore him and move on.. If he calls again... tell him you've got plans for that weekend... Just be independant.. he will be at your feet, if he really likes you.. otherwise.. you will lose him.. Insecure people are a huge turn-off.. for men AND women.. I have ignored him/left him alone more than I can count. He manages to wiggle himself back into my good graces. The last time was over the summer...hadn't talked to him for 2 months. Went on vacation and he emailed everyday during my cruise. Got back together, became hot & heavy, now this. Maybe you are correct. Maybe I am emotionally dependant on him. Haven't really viewed it that way. Let me ask you this: A week or so ago I asked him "How would you label us?" I know I know...shouldn't have gone there. He inquired "Who's asking?" I replied "I am" He said we don't need a label..."Just Be" Again, the conversation didn't go as I had expected. I know I should not have asked, but what do you make of his response?
Author Phoenix11 Posted November 20, 2008 Author Posted November 20, 2008 yes just call him and tell him you've made alternate plans for the weekend and see what he says...that will tell you a lot Crazy as it may seem...I'm afraid to call him. I know myself. If I can't reach him, and end up having to leave a vm, my mind will spin out of control for the rest of the evening and into the next day until I hear back from him. It's much better to deal with my current level of insanity...lol
Lizzie60 Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 STOP asking those questions... that makes you a very insecure girl.. and he knows he can do what he wants with you. You stop calling.. then he calls back.. (whenever HE feels like it) .. and he knows for sure you'll see him... or get back with him.. he's not a fool and you're probably turning him off with your insecurity and low self-esteem. He's just not that into you.. he just wants you when he's lonely or has no one around... this might sound harsh but this is exactly how it is.. he's using you ... plain and simple. If he would really loves you, he wouldn't act like that.. he would want more of you... Just move on.. ignore him..
2sunny Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 i'm confused... is this the same MM you were seeing a while back? or someone new? if he's new - how long have you dated, how often do you date and does he seem serious at all when you're with him?
Author Phoenix11 Posted November 21, 2008 Author Posted November 21, 2008 i'm confused... is this the same MM you were seeing a while back? or someone new? if he's new - how long have you dated, how often do you date and does he seem serious at all when you're with him? I don't know what "MM" means. This is the only guy I've dated this year, and yes when we are together he is very serious. Tells me he loves me all the time, "since the beginning" he says. If you know my saga...the beginning was was our first date...lol. Lately he has mentioned us living together, and getting a pup....but nothing more specific than that. After our IM yesterday, I knew I would not hear from him today...especially when he said "we'll chat about the weekend tomorrow.
2sunny Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 MM = married man. maybe i confused your posts from a while back with the back ground given. if not, i was under the impression of that before so maybe that just indicates that this guy seems to always have other interests than you.
shockandawed Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Wow PHX...... As I have pointed out before, it is very hard for any of the posters to give you advise when you don't provide any background. I know why you don't...because you know anyone who knows the story will not give you the advise you want to hear. This crap has been going on well over a year now. He has played one mind game after another with you. Everytime you have finally had enough, he reels you back in with his weeping, or lines about how he thinks of you two living together, etc... Don't you think after a year and a half you shouldn't be in a relationship that sends you running to these boards trying to figure out his latest bizarre game on a weekly basis? A tiger doesn't change his stripes. The only question you have is are you willing to remain in this game and keep playing it like he does or have you had enough and feel like you deserve more than this. What could be so worth it with him that keeps you in this constant state of anxiety with him? It's not like you ever had the normal moments or memories. If after all this time, you don't mind him telling you that you are a backup to a televised NASCAR race, then keep hanging around....geez!
sultry33 Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 you need to change the game dump his butt and remember rule 1 its not supposed to be hard work me.. id have split as soon as he was on a dating site be someones priority not a maybe;)
xpaperxcutx Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 If a guy doesn't call you back or leave you in the dark about various things, then you can be certain that there's something suspicious about him. Can you say that you never been uneasy about his behaviour or why on occasions he distances himself away from you? There isn't any other advice I can offer you that hasn't already been mentioned except that you should think over whether you really deserve the treatment that he's giving you.
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