CailinPig Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 I was in contact with him up until about a month and a half ago and we had ups and downs. Haven't been talking to him since, for a variety of reasons, none of which are my choice. Regardless, I can't move on. I'm so sad, so empty. I don't think he's right for me as a boyfriend (although maybe he is), but he's definitely right for me as a friend. i miss him so much. i think about him all the time. it hurts. he emailed me about 2 weeks ago saying he really missed me but his gf doesnt want us to be in contact for obvious reasons. Then that all changed and he now dont even wanna talk to me. i just feel like ****. this guy was so nice to me for 3 years and although a charcter change is inevitable in different circumstances, i hate it. i feel lost and empty, with nothing to look forward to, except a life alone. i never wanna go through this again, and i dont think i deserved this in the first place. i understand everyone goes through heartbreak and i'm fine with suffering through it for a while. but 8 months of it? No i'm not fine with that. i dont want life to be this way. i dont wanna annoy my friends telling them how i feel. at this stage, although my friends are still there for me, i feel like i cant turn to them. everythings been said. i am busy these days, i am happy on my new college course, in my new town with my new friends. but the emptiness does not go. i cant take it any longer. i just wanna be me again. cant describe the loneliness and the pain.
alwayssme Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 i know how you feel. it's been 3 months for me now. i KNOW i was truly in love with him and wanted to marry him but things didn't work out that way. i'm not sure how things will be when i reach 8 months but maybe because you kept in touch with him? hopefully NC will help you heal. Best wishes!
EmperorR Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Keeping in touch with him for so long made it even worse, if you did NC earlier you would have felt much much better now, but its never to late, iniate NC right now. And what a prick he emailed you that he missed you when he already has a new gf etc., it's just to string you along he doesn't love you he just misses having someone he's comfortable with around. And don't think you won't find anyone better etc., your still young I presume, you need to get over him, and move on and work on yourself, and smile again:)
TeaAbraham Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 Regardless, I can't move on. I'm so sad, so empty. I don't think he's right for me as a boyfriend (although maybe he is), but he's definitely right for me as a friend. i miss him so much. i think about him all the time. it hurts.I have also very much felt like my ex is so right for me as a friend. We were hanging out after we broke up, and it was actually a lot better than the last few months of our relationship. I mean she was my best friend for so long, as I am sure your ex was. The only thing is that I think the real reason for me wanting to be friends with her is because I thought that we would be able to get back together in the end. But the reason we ended was because she had been seeing her ex, so for her it was not about us getting back together, although I had so much hope. I too feel like I cannot move on, feel like I am so sad and so empty. I have only been going through this for about two months, I cannot imagine feeling this way for another 6. I really want you to feel better and to move on CailingPig. I really miss spending time with my ex too, but there a lots of others out there who you would enjoy spending time with just as much. He isn't the only nice guy out there. You do not need his friendship in your life. It's sad that it is gone, but there is so much more happiness out there to be found. You have to take the reigns. Literally pick em up. Do somethig that makes you feel empowered. Jogging helps me a lot. Right now this memory of your ex is in the driver's seat of your life Cailin, and you're searching for that road that you once knew. That road that drives along the coast, overlooking the ocean and the setting sun. That road that you've driven down so many times before. That road of happiness and joy with your ex by your side. Guess what. That road is sitll there! But that ghost of your ex can't take you down that road anymore. That ghost of your ex is keeping you from going down that road again, even though that's where you hope you are headed. Somebody else can take you down that road though. But you've gotta do two things. You've gotta take control of the wheels again. You've gotta rid yourself of this ghost. Because this ghost is not happiness for you. This ghost can't even drive! How could it, it's a ghost! So you've got to take control of those wheels, and you've got to start driving. Because only you can drive yourself down that road of happiness again. And it's not going to be the exact same road, it's going to be a new road, but believe me, it's going to be a better road, a happier road, a sunnier road. But you've got to take the wheel. Do it! Just go do it! Happiness is not where you are right now, hoping for it. Happiness is going out there and getting it, working for it, doing it! Good luck. We're all here for you.
Surfer Dude Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 Cailin, the reason why you are feeling like this even now, 8 months after break up, is because you haven't really tried strict NC. Stop pining after him. Would you really want to spend your life with a man who used you and discarded you like a piece of trash? No, I didn't think so. It's not him that you're really missing, it's memories of good times and how he made you feel in the past. Break the cycle of pining and you will move on. Send him an email telling him that he should never contact you again, under any circumstances. We're all going thru the same thing here, you're not alone. Just remember that you will eventually move on and and everything is going to be fine! No more pessimism and negativity!
foxh1234 Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 Hi CP, I know how you feel. It has been 8 months for me as well and I still think about her from time to time. I am 80% over her but it still hurts sometimes. There are no time limits on these things, but NC will help you as it helps everyone. My ex has contacted me numerous times and all it does is bring the old feelings back. Stop all contact with him and accept things are over and you will get yourself back. We are all here to help you along the way. Hang in there.
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