alwayssme Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 I wish none of this happened. I wish he never left. Instead of spending my days with him, I'm here trying to "cope" learning to "let go and move on". It wasn't supposed to happen like this. I still love him and wish for a miracle but they never happen. I'll just go take a walk to ease my mind, then homework! Yay! It's crazy how much things can change. What takes forever to built takes only a word or an action to destroy it.
cherryade Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 *hug* I'm feeling the same today. We were meant to be going away for a romantic weekend in Italy tomorrow :-( Amazing how quickly nothing is what you thought it was. And I wonder how long it was in the pipeline and I was blissfully unaware...
lofi_tokyo Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 I wish none of this happened. I wish he never left. Instead of spending my days with him, I'm here trying to "cope" learning to "let go and move on". It wasn't supposed to happen like this. I still love him and wish for a miracle but they never happen. I'll just go take a walk to ease my mind, then homework! Yay! It's crazy how much things can change. What takes forever to built takes only a word or an action to destroy it. The feelings of sadness after happiness will come and go. Once you get to my point you'll feel mostly jaded I think, except for the occasional bout of pain. Try focusing on reasons why the relationship was bad, why breaking up was okay - ie. long distance, constant arguements about ____, whatever it takes. Even if you think those issues were reconcilable, remind yourself that they are not, because it is over.
stoneymirror Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 AlwaysMe, it's okay, you're gonna go through highs and lows. As time goes on the lows will be less frequent and eventually go away completely. Have faith that it does get better. I've been through a number of longterm relationships that obviously ended and some of them are just a bit harder to get over. Especially when you don't fully understand why the ex broke up with you and you have questions. Remember this is just a test of your own character. Pick yourself up and realize this ex of yours doesn't deserve you. And if you were ever to go back to him he'd hurt you all over again. You know it, I know it. This guy isn't good for you.
Author alwayssme Posted November 21, 2008 Author Posted November 21, 2008 The feelings of sadness after happiness will come and go. Once you get to my point you'll feel mostly jaded I think, except for the occasional bout of pain. Try focusing on reasons why the relationship was bad, why breaking up was okay - ie. long distance, constant arguements about ____, whatever it takes. Even if you think those issues were reconcilable, remind yourself that they are not, because it is over. our relationship was not long distance. i saw him everyday. and i know this may sound weird but there weren't really any bad things about our relationship. he was good to me but thanks tokyo. i guess this is life.
Author alwayssme Posted November 21, 2008 Author Posted November 21, 2008 AlwaysMe, it's okay, you're gonna go through highs and lows. As time goes on the lows will be less frequent and eventually go away completely. Have faith that it does get better. I've been through a number of longterm relationships that obviously ended and some of them are just a bit harder to get over. Especially when you don't fully understand why the ex broke up with you and you have questions. Remember this is just a test of your own character. Pick yourself up and realize this ex of yours doesn't deserve you. And if you were ever to go back to him he'd hurt you all over again. You know it, I know it. This guy isn't good for you. thank you! yeah i think i'm doing pretty good right now. much better than at the begining. and he is a good guy, believe me he was right for me, guess i just wasn't right for him
Author alwayssme Posted November 21, 2008 Author Posted November 21, 2008 *hug* I'm feeling the same today. We were meant to be going away for a romantic weekend in Italy tomorrow :-( Amazing how quickly nothing is what you thought it was. And I wonder how long it was in the pipeline and I was blissfully unaware... awww i hope you're handling it okay. why did you two break up?
lofi_tokyo Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 There must have been something always. It does not have to be long distance, it can be anything. Maybe you were just too in love to see it, but if everything was perfect between you two, then he would not have left you. If you keep telling yourself everything was okay, then you will not heal. Things were not okay. I do not know what went wrong with your relationship. Maybe you don't even know, but your ex surely does. I think with some good solid NC, and some healing, you'll begin to notice the little things that were off. Maybe you won't though. It could be your ex just realized one day that while he loves you, he cannot see himself marrying you. I really don't know, I am not trying to be mean, but I am trying to help you get a realistic hold on what happened. Happy men don't walk out of good relationships.
Author alwayssme Posted November 21, 2008 Author Posted November 21, 2008 He just simply said "he didnt feel the same way anymore" and that it had nothing to do with me. He wants to be on his own and do his own thing. And he fell out of love with me so that was the reason. I asked him how could this have happened? And he said he doesn't know and that he can't answer me that but we should go our separate ways! And of course it wasnt perfect, but no relationship ever is.
lofi_tokyo Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Ahh, I see. I guess its hard to really focus on what went wrong when you have no clue where it started. If someone falls out of love, I'd like to think its for a reason. Maybe not one single reason, but there are markers on WHY a relationship fails. I guess though, in some cases, its just that a relationship runs its course, people expend the passion between them, and there is not much else to do but look for a new source of passion. I'm sorry that happened Always, I'm guessing its kinda tough to deal with. :S Then again, I think in a lot of relationships people start to feel distant, less in love, but generally people hold on a bit longer and start arguing before they break up, it seems your ex stepped out a bit early. In my case, we just stayed together wayyy too long. He was not a bad guy - a few years from now, after we have both matured, if HE was interested, maybe I would give it a go. As it stands though, we were caught in a long distance relationship and while we saw eachother 4 days a month, it was not really enough to sustain a relationship in the long term. We got distant, then we got crazy, then we fought, then we fought more. ;p Never yelling! Just discussing problems lol. ;p
Jolie76 Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Im sorry your feeling sad, I'm going through my pain stage right now, its not fun and nothing anyone will say will help you right now, but in a few days reread all the advice we've all given you, you will begin to process it better. Let yourself feel the sadness don't hide it, you have to go through stages in order to get better. I'm hitting wave after wave of sadness, anger, numbness, calmness. I am not looking forward to this process myself but we all have to or we cannot grow and we cannot meet someone better in our lives.
sultry33 Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 my ex said everything was perfect with us.. he just couldnt get along with my daughter who was goin through her teens.. she is so much calmer now too. However he moved on way before me, has new gf..infact i still havent moved on properly. Since March there have been good days an bad.. xmas loomin is makin me feel real sad too as he used to get real excited about it.. life has to go on op.. in time it will ease, enjoy the good days and accept the bad ones hugs to u x
hereandnow Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Today has been one of those same days for me too, always and cherryade. Had a brief respite in the morning, then in the afternoon, boom. I was done for. Feeling much better now though. My ex gf gave me the exact same line, "My love went from romantic to more of a friendship thing and I don't know why." It's not an easy thing to hear. Our exes get to grieve the relationship while they're in it! Horribly unfair!
openbook08 Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 I have those days too alwaysme.... your post reminded me of this song... CHANGE. its never easy whether its from positive to negative or otherwise... SUGABABES LYRICS - CHANGE If I could hold you close Like you were never gone If I could hear your voice You’d tell me to be strong But sometimes I just can’t I just don’t understand Why you had to go Why you had to go I guess I’ll never know Ain’t it funny how you think You’re gonna be okay Till you remember things ain’t never Gonna be the same again The same again Ain’t it crazy how you think You’ve got your whole life planned Just to find that it was never ever In your hand In your hand Change If I could get to you I feel it in the air My world don’t make no sense If I’m without you in it And sometimes I just find Can’t deny Don’t know why Why’d you have to go? Why’d you have to go? And leave me here alone And leave me here alone Ain’t it funny how you think You’re gonna be OK Till you remember things ain’t never Gonna be the same again The same again Ain’t it crazy how you think You’ve got your whole life planned Just to find that it was never ever In your hand In your hand Change You don’t see it coming Change When the future comes knocking It changed It can make you or break you too You’d just have to make it through You’d just have to make it through Ain’t it funny how you think You’re gonna be okay Till you remember things ain’t never Gonna be the same again The same again Ain’t it crazy how you think You’ve got your whole life planned Just to find that it was never ever In your hand In your hand Change Change, change Change, change
cherryade Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 awww i hope you're handling it okay. why did you two break up? the short answer is that he hooked up with another girl - i dont really even know the long answer. my handling of it is changable! sometimes i recognise him for the idiot he is, sometimes i miss him terribly, today i've been thinking of a way to split them up, but thats just stupid. hope you're ok xxx
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