ConfusedAtHome Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 I have recently been broken up with and just wanted to know from you guys how many of your ex's have tried to get you back/reconcile. I doubt my ex will have second thoughts, but I was curious as to how many try to come back.
BikerBeagle Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 There's a statistic floating around here that says 30% ...but the same statistic says only 10% of those are actually successful the second time around. I don't know where the stat came from or what the criteria was, though. My ex (ex-ex?) and I are currently giving each other a second try, but there's a long road ahead of us.
SRV Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 Its usually a long and ardous road to travel. Somewhere during that road, the old issues that you had will crop up. I have seen it with one of my closest friends. He broke up with his gf/fiance that he had been with for a long time. They got back together to try and patch things up. The same issues that he used to complain prior to the break-up, are the same things he and she are complaining about after reconciliation. You can see the fatigue look in his face and he is just about to give up. Hope this answers your question.
Author ConfusedAtHome Posted November 20, 2008 Author Posted November 20, 2008 I imagine that the statistic is low. And probably even lower if one person has fallen out of love with the other, which is my case...sadly.
dead-dyke Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 I could never put anything into consideration regarding stats. It begs the question: Who's polling? Who's responding? How many? the list goes on. Might as well get relationship advice from Cosmo, know what I mean? Each scenario is different, as well as the way people interact w/ each other. Time apart, how the breakup went down, are you civil to each other, etc., etc... I think it happens much more than we think. Maybe not right away, which is best for it to work, but it happens. F statistics.
BCCA Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 I could never put anything into consideration regarding stats. It begs the question: Who's polling? Who's responding? How many? the list goes on. Might as well get relationship advice from Cosmo, know what I mean? Each scenario is different, as well as the way people interact w/ each other. Time apart, how the breakup went down, are you civil to each other, etc., etc... I think it happens much more than we think. Maybe not right away, which is best for it to work, but it happens. F statistics. While its true that there are nuances with stats that make things a little less clear than they apear, that stat mentioned earlier is from a case study of real adult relationships I came accross in a psych class. Basically, of all couples who split and stay apart longer than one month, 30% get back together, but of those, only 10% stay together longer than one year. Yes, every situation is difference, but 3% gives you a ballpark figure of the likelyhood. To answer the question, it's not very often that people get back together, and men go back to women FAR more often than the other way around.
L-FUZZ Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 BCCA...why is it that you say men go back to women more then women back to men?
dead-dyke Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Men are far more likely to return, because they act much more irrationally, regarding thinking things through. Women check out months before they pull the trigger......... This is also irrational, because while they are checking out of the relationship, they fail to express their disdain to their partners, while keeping them convinced they are still in love - till it's to late.
BCCA Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 BCCA...why is it that you say men go back to women more then women back to men? Men tend to act rash, hasty, and make decisions on the fly. They rarely think things out too much, or take their time making important decisions. Most guys arent going to sit on the phone with their buddies talking about relationship issues for hours on end until theyre sure. They just kind of decide things on the spot and go with it. For this reason, they tend to regret their decisions more. Women, on the other hand, tend to talk at great lengths to friends and family about their relationship. The usually take their time before making a decision about their bf, and usually know theyre going to end things weeks or months before they do, and start mentally "checking out" long before they pull the trigger on ending it. Thats why you often hear guys saying that the last couple months before they got dumped were bad, and their gf just started being really mean, unavailable, etc. When a women makes a decision, shes usually told everyone she knows shes going to dump her bf, and it would take some serious pride-swallowing for her to change her mind. When a woman leaves, its usually for good.
L-FUZZ Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Dead D thanks for that clearification... hmmm thats interestingly very believable! i think my ex irrationally dumped me twice.
BCCA Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 i think my ex irrationally dumped me twice. I'm in the same boat. The only thing we can do is make good and sure that our ex's dont get a third chance!
dead-dyke Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Dead D thanks for that clearification... hmmm thats interestingly very believable! i think my ex irrationally dumped me twice. SEE? You already beat the 30% odds, with 100% success! once.
L-FUZZ Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 and thankyou BCCA i just saw your post... and yes that certainly makes alot of sense .. I know im always discussing how things are going when im in a relationship... but mainly the good stuff..i try not to talk about the bad.. maybe that is why ive never dumped anyone before... hmmmmm maybe im on to something here....
L-FUZZ Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 haha !! yep your right Dead D and yes Bcca your also right.. The only thing we can do is make good and sure that our ex's dont get a third chance! so far so good,,, but at times ,, i wonder..
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