D-Jam Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 Don't feel down. There are advantages to being single around the holidays. You save money on not having to buy gifts for another person.You can take it easy on the actual holidays, as opposed to being dragged around to different houses.You're not stuck at someone else's boring/bland/lame office party, when you'd rather be at home relaxing.You're free to do anything you want around the holidays. Maybe do a weekend getaway someplace nice. Your friends will be envious you can do that while they're stuck on the normal activities.You don't have to debate about whether or not to hang that gaudy decoration he/she loves (but you can't stand).Less chances to catch cold or flu.You can curl up in the whole bed and have it all to yourself.You have free time to do charity work, or take on hobbies you've been wanting to do.You can lay around and be a total slob on that day when it's a wintery mess outside...and all the "relationship" people have to doll themselves up and run out to date in that mess.Other lonely single people who somehow keep missing you will notice you more...AND you can try to make it happen with them.
prettybaby Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 ^^ that's such BS Who would seriously rather be in that situation? You also forgot to mention: no hot sex, no cuddling, no butterflies, no nothing.
kashmir Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 I feel worse on Valentine's day and the beginning of Spring than Christmas and Thanksgiving.
D-Jam Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 ^^ that's such BS Who would seriously rather be in that situation? You also forgot to mention: no hot sex, no cuddling, no butterflies, no nothing. I was single and alone for many a holiday season. While it's a drag when you end up at those holiday affairs that's mostly couples, I decided I'd rather look on the bright side than spend the entire season in the dumps. I can't stand the snow and cold as it is (yet I ironically love Chicago too much to leave). While I am in a RL now, I wasn't going to let myself get depressed back then and I wouldn't do it now even if I was single. I wasn't going to rush out and find a temporary girlfriend just so I can "have someone" around the season. Yes it's nice to be in love around the holiday season, but I think an SO shouldn't be a mark of achievement the way many make it out to be. Better to be open, sociable, and yet not let the singledom bring you down. I might have avoided the couples-centric holiday parties and New Years last year, but I enjoyed decorating my place, shopping and getting creative on gifts for friends, baking dessert for my family for Christmas, and at least from my point of view...not dealing with the drama that actually happens. (seems like more people I know who are in RLs have drama more than happiness) Don't be down...smile and enjoy life. Silver linings, positivity, etc. It's worse to be at home crying how you're lonely. I feel worse on Valentine's day and the beginning of Spring than Christmas and Thanksgiving. Yeah...V-Day I generally ignored. It's funnier though seeing how many guys were complaining about how much crap they'll get from their women if they didn't do or get them something for V-Day.
RogueAC Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 I might have avoided the couples-centric holiday parties and New Years last year New Years is difficult. When I am single, I feel extra pressure to have a date/not be alone on New Year's Eve.
kashmir Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 Yeah...V-Day I generally ignored. It's funnier though seeing how many guys were complaining about how much crap they'll get from their women if they didn't do or get them something for V-Day. Well I just figured V-day = automatic passionate and potentially raunchy night. When I'm sitting alone in my room at night I can just imagine what all my friends with girlfriends are doing.
RogueAC Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 Well I just figured V-day = automatic passionate and potentially raunchy night. In a good R or after a great date, there is nothing that happens on V-day that doesn’t or couldn't happen any other day of the year. Gummybear, what if you try changing your perspective? Thinking single + holidays = sad only perpetuates those negative perceptions. D-Jam lists several (10!) great advantages to being single around the holidays. Yeah, as prettybaby said, “no hot sex, cuddling, etc.” is frustrating but isn’t that true for any time of the year? I know that I like hot sex and cuddling year round, not just around the holidays! I try thinking something like single + holidays = opportunity. I have the opportunity to spend time and give love to my own friends and family, to meet someone new or go somewhere new. There is often a spike in social activities around the holidays, so, for me, that means there are more opportunities for fun. If anything, maybe just try to neutralize the thoughts. Single + Holidays = just okay, not happy or sad.
D-Jam Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 New Years is difficult. When I am single, I feel extra pressure to have a date/not be alone on New Year's Eve. Yeah. I think it's why I would avoid it. Most of my single friends either stay home (some go to bed early even) and the rest who are in RLs more or less are out on the town. I'd see family, or friends who wanted to hang, but if I was alone I'd probably treat it as a normal night. People put too much pressure on things. I swear in some social circles NYE seems more like an adult-aged prom night...where you're deemed a "loser" if you're dateless. Seen in some cases where the "need to have someone for the moment" gets to a degree where exes suddenly are together for one night, enemies are making out or having sex, and all sorts of hookups happen. For the single woman, I say NYE is the opportunity to drunkenly make out with the cute guy who happens to not have a date. Just do it at midnight.
zhsoj Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 Single + Holidays = extra :( ... Only because it always ends up being a topic of conversation when going home for the holidays... And it is always followed by "oh we have to find you someone", or "you should ask <insert cute waitress here> out!"... Bah... It's alright, only happens once per year, I shouldn't and don't really have any problem dealing with it... Does become repetitive though.
Isolde Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 I feel worse on Valentine's day and the beginning of Spring than Christmas and Thanksgiving. Yep, same here. Thanksgiving is boring in my opinion, Christmas, the point is family and sleeping in.
lino Posted November 22, 2008 Posted November 22, 2008 ^^ that's such BS Who would seriously rather be in that situation? You also forgot to mention: no hot sex, no cuddling, no butterflies, no nothing. I agree. Christmas alone is the terrible!
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