samsungxoxo Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 Yesterday at night my long distance b/f was online but he rather seem cold than last time we talked both online and phone. He usually as always ends with an ''I love you, miss'' but yesterday was ''good nite'' and log off. Here is the thing I at times talk dirty online but only that no cybering on cam nor phone sex (writing about sex and your fantasies) to guys, esp. this online guy friend. But no this is not hidden, I told b/f about it last time and he was ok with it, he didn't mind. Now dunno what's gotten into him, but yesterday it didn't seem like him at all. Would any of you guys out there be ok with it?
JackJack Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 Just out of curiosity, why do you feel the need to talk dirty to other guys on the net if you have a b/f? Perhaps he is not as "OK" with it as you might think.
Author samsungxoxo Posted November 20, 2008 Author Posted November 20, 2008 Just out of curiosity, why do you feel the need to talk dirty to other guys on the net if you have a b/f? I don't really know but I think it's mainly because we're on long distance relationship (though I did it on few occassions when we weren't, now is more) and other than that I guess it's me getting horny and basic instinct, at some point we all do have out fantasies. By the way I would be ok if my b/f want to do that plus cyber on cam/phone sex, ok. As long as it's only online I'm fine with it.
JackJack Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 Maybe you could email him or call him and ask him if something is bothering him.
Author samsungxoxo Posted November 20, 2008 Author Posted November 20, 2008 Maybe you could email him or call him and ask him if something is bothering him. Yea, I'll do that next time he's online.
Bryanp Posted November 20, 2008 Posted November 20, 2008 My guess is that this is exactly why he is upset. He is probably asking himself how can I feel special about my girlfriend when she is talking sex talk with another guy? This is just my opinion but I think for most guys this would be construed as really disrespectful for anybody that is in a committed relationship. Why would any boyfriend feel good that his girlfriend is talking down and dirty with another guy? My guess is that if you wish to destroy this relationship then continue to do what you are doing. You are making your boyfriend feel very non-special and making yourself being perceived as someone that should not be in a committed relationship. I am sorry but it makes you sound really cheap doing this with another guy while you have boyfriend. I think most guys would feel the same way. I wish you luck.
Charles1978 Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Yeah I wouldn't be ok with it either. Why not just do it with him instead??
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Why would you even WANT to be with a guy who doesn't care that you talk dirty to another guy?
Author samsungxoxo Posted November 21, 2008 Author Posted November 21, 2008 Why would you even WANT to be with a guy who doesn't care that you talk dirty to another guy? he doesn't consider that cheating. I guess many people have different point of views. Since I'm doing that he say that day that he could do the same too.
RecordProducer Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 You're a fool for telling him about your flirts with other guys, no matter how innocent they are in your mind. If he brings it up, tell him you're only joking with these guys, you're not attracted to them, you only do it online with people who live far away, and if it bothers him, you'll stop.... telling him about it, that is. I don't think it's a big deal at all, but it IS for the other party. Frankly, if my partner did it, I'd rather not know. It's not cheating, they can amuse themselves in any way they wish on the internet, but I don't need to know everything. he doesn't consider that cheating. I guess many people have different point of views. Since I'm doing that he say that day that he could do the same too. A typical man won't show his weakness (jealousy), especially at the beginning of ta relationship; he'll say "Oh! No problem, baby!" That doesn't mean that he really doesn't have a problem. Hence his comment that he can do it too - his message to you was: fine, I'll do that to you too, since you say it's OK, and let's see how you like it. Guys can seem colder on some days, especially online; don't worry about that too much. It might however be related to the aforementioned topic.
theobserver Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 As commented above and in some other comments us guys will hide our true feelings. When things are just start we let things slide we may like to believe we're "cool" with it. Example with typical distance or couples not living together: New girlfriend likes to go clubbing 4 times a week with friends including many males. boyfriend can't attend. You say to boyfriend he can do the same or presume he would. Boyfriend pretends he's ok with it, I mean hell don't want to look controlling or showing lack of trust. But give it a month or 2 and you'll see a turn in his attitude, he never liked it from the beginning and its been eating him up. Turns out he doesnt even like clubbing anyway atleast not without you. Point is it's very likely your boyfriend was NOT ok with your ... conversations with other guys online. He most likely does NOT do it himself despite what he said.Also because you are both long distance he is probably thinking what if these other guys you talk to are men you have been with while he's away. Personally I think you need to really think why you need to do this. It's not harmless at all all it takes is for one guy for you to be attracted to or for one who wants to "meet up for coffee or a movie" and before you know it you've cheated. You're playing with fire and disrespecting your boyfriend. Believe it or not some men online take talking sexual as you would sleep with them if they were present in the flesh almost like a conquest to know (in their minds) you are lusting over them even though you have a boyfriend. Your boyfriend also knows this and it's eating away at him. STOP. As always this works both ways, I 've read and know many a guys who will talk borderline cybering with girls online as if its nothing and I agree some people have different thoughts on this on if its cheating or not (its not at first) but it can quickly get there and even to the point of an EA since you could be doing this with your Boyfriend. Hey it's your life. I hope I'm just overreacting but most likely not.
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